On September 27 2009 01:46 infinity21 wrote: do you bitch at him every time he does something retarded?
like for instance, you ask him to turn down the music and he turns it down just a little bit, do you tell him to put on his head phones? if not, then it's just as much your fault as it is his. You have to communicate what you want clearly.
If you tell him to put on his headphones and he refuses, then you have a case to take to your RA for a room switch.
Not always, but there was one time where I was trying to study for a test and asked him 3 times to turn it down, all the times he turned it down, but then just slowly turned it back up untill it was at a high volume once again. That being said, by the time the 3rd one hit, I was already playing my own music with headphones on so It wasn't as big of a deal.
did you tell him to KEEP it down after the 2nd time? why not go up to him and say something like "dude, if i ask you to turn down the music, i'm asking you to KEEP it down for the rest of the night". It seems like your problem is that when your roommate is being a jackass and not being reasonable, you don't go talk to him about what you were actually asking from him vs what he's actually doing for you.
Sit down with him and tell him what exactly you expect from him. For instance, the one of the first things me and my housemates talked about were the ground rules and sleeping schedule so that we don't play music loudly after 12. We talked about splitting grocery costs, alcohol cost, etc. and we communicated to each other so everyone's happy.
so my advice to you is, be CLEAR and SPECIFIC about what you expect from your roommate. Know what you expect from him and what he expects from you. I don't think I need to tell you this bit but be reasonable in the discussions (e.g. you can tell him to put on headphones on weekdays and he complains that it has no bass or something. Then you can suggest to get those in-ear ear phones that have pretty good bass. telling him to go fuck himself probably won't work). You should also be willing to make some sacrifices for the sacrifices that your roommate is making. Make him use headphones on weekdays and let him use his subwoofer on fri/sat (or w/e dates are good for you). If he keeps up his end of the deal, you can start rewarding him by telling him when you don't have to do hw so he can play his music and whatnot. Or if you really hate his shit, maybe you have to tell him to use headphones the whole time cause you can't stand his music. Be honest with him because if you make compromises on that front, you're basically shooting yourself in the foot.
I personally think you just need to step up and be stern with him. He's not gonna mutate into some 40ft monster that will decapitate you if you decide to yell at him. In fact, if you never show your anger, or get the point across that what he is doing is bullshit, then he will just continue to walk all over you.
The next time he blasts music while you are trying to sleep, just get up , shut it off completely, and let him know the next time he acts like a fuckwad, the consequences will be much worse. You don't have to try and fight the guy, but showing dominance, and letting him know that you don't deal with bullshit will probably make him think twice the next time. Getting angry at someone and yelling at them is healthy sometimes, and it lets the guy know that you are a man, not just a boy he can step on. Either way, goodluck!
(I work out of town, and usually have to share a hotel room with other workers, so I know from experience how bad ppl can be. Just gotta be stern, and stick to it.)
On September 27 2009 01:46 infinity21 wrote: do you bitch at him every time he does something retarded?
like for instance, you ask him to turn down the music and he turns it down just a little bit, do you tell him to put on his head phones? if not, then it's just as much your fault as it is his. You have to communicate what you want clearly.
If you tell him to put on his headphones and he refuses, then you have a case to take to your RA for a room switch.
Not always, but there was one time where I was trying to study for a test and asked him 3 times to turn it down, all the times he turned it down, but then just slowly turned it back up untill it was at a high volume once again. That being said, by the time the 3rd one hit, I was already playing my own music with headphones on so It wasn't as big of a deal.
did you tell him to KEEP it down after the 2nd time? why not go up to him and say something like "dude, if i ask you to turn down the music, i'm asking you to KEEP it down for the rest of the night". It seems like your problem is that when your roommate is being a jackass and not being reasonable, you don't go talk to him about what you were actually asking from him vs what he's actually doing for you.
Sit down with him and tell him what exactly you expect from him. For instance, the one of the first things me and my housemates talked about were the ground rules and sleeping schedule so that we don't play music loudly after 12. We talked about splitting grocery costs, alcohol cost, etc. and we communicated to each other so everyone's happy.
so my advice to you is, be CLEAR and SPECIFIC about what you expect from your roommate. Know what you expect from him and what he expects from you. I don't think I need to tell you this bit but be reasonable in the discussions (e.g. you can tell him to put on headphones on weekdays and he complains that it has no bass or something. Then you can suggest to get those in-ear ear phones that have pretty good bass. telling him to go fuck himself probably won't work). You should also be willing to make some sacrifices for the sacrifices that your roommate is making. Make him use headphones on weekdays and let him use his subwoofer on fri/sat (or w/e dates are good for you). If he keeps up his end of the deal, you can start rewarding him by telling him when you don't have to do hw so he can play his music and whatnot. Or if you really hate his shit, maybe you have to tell him to use headphones the whole time cause you can't stand his music. Be honest with him because if you make compromises on that front, you're basically shooting yourself in the foot.
I understand what you're saying, and I would agree with you, but at this point, I don't really know *what* on my end to give him. If he goes to bed, I go to bed, end of story. The second the door opens, I put on headphones and keep my shit down to a very respectable level. If I get a phone call, I go out to our commons to take it. If he needs to work on homework I leave the room. I understand that obvsiously me being as passive as I am probably doesn't help this situation at all.
However, our room-mate contract outlines shit pretty clearly. Maybe I need to bring that up again, I understand, trust me, that this is partially my fault.
Thanks dude.
Edit: And yes, I did tell him the second time that I was trying to fucking study and that he needed to keep it down.
If you're making so much sacrifices on your end already, you can bring that up when you go talk to him today
it sounds like you haven't done THAT much wrong other than being a bit less assertive than you should've been. This will only support your case if you end up going to talk to your RA.
On September 27 2009 02:12 infinity21 wrote: If you're making so much sacrifices on your end already, you can bring that up when you go talk to him today
He's going out partying and probably won't be back till tomorrow at the earliest. If I could I would .
On September 27 2009 02:03 alffla wrote: lol u gotta tell ur roomate what u dont like mannnnn
yeah srsly. You can't just assume everyone is 100% courteous the same way you are. How should he know it bothers you if you don't show that it bothers you? You try to make light of it and so he probably thinks its no big deal for you.
you sound like kind of pushover, if you're going to let people take advantage of you, of course you're not going to be happy, its your own fault
tell his ass to a) not touch your shit b) start being responsible c) not play loud music d) be more considerate and if he doesnt do these things then you threaten actual action
from what it sounds like this guy right now has no idea you are even mad at him because of your super weak passive aggressive nature
I bet you release your frustration here because your "friend" is a big gorilla and you don't even dare to tell him that he such an ass. Get in shape and kick him in the butt. :p
On September 27 2009 01:52 Kaialynn wrote: Also, this is some of the stuff he listens too, i don't know if people like this or not. I personally think it's terrible but w/e.
On September 27 2009 03:15 Altair wrote: I bet you release your frustration here because your "friend" is a big gorilla and you don't even dare to tell him that he such an ass. Get in shape and kick him in the butt. :p
Umm, I could kick his ass with both my hands tied behind my back, although I'm more or less a pacifist sooooo >.>
Last year I HATED my roommate. He was a wigger who only listened to three rap songs the entire fucking year, on full fucking blast, even when i was sleeping. We talked a few times like the first week or two to "get to know eachother" and i realized he was a fucking idiot.
Halfway through the year, maybe around February he found out the power of marijuana. So, every night at 2-3 in the morning, he would go smoke a blunt, come back to the room, turn on the lights, turn on comedy central loud as a mother fucker, WHILE IM TRYING TO SLEEP. He even knew I had to get up at like 9:00 and he wouldn't pass out (WITH THE TV ON) until like 5:00 so I wouldn't fall asleep until like 5:20 because I had to turn the TV off myself.
I started to hate him more and more every day, and I was so tempted to put drugs in his shit and report it to the RA and get him kicked out. Needless to say, I never went that far because I did catch him cheating on his girlfriend one night, so he tried to be nicer to me and more respective of my shit to try to persuade me not to tell his girlfriend.
On September 27 2009 03:26 CaucasianAsian wrote: Last year I HATED my roommate. He was a wigger who only listened to three rap songs the entire fucking year, on full fucking blast, even when i was sleeping. We talked a few times like the first week or two to "get to know eachother" and i realized he was a fucking idiot.
Halfway through the year, maybe around February he found out the power of marijuana. So, every night at 2-3 in the morning, he would go smoke a blunt, come back to the room, turn on the lights, turn on comedy central loud as a mother fucker, WHILE IM TRYING TO SLEEP. He even knew I had to get up at like 9:00 and he wouldn't pass out (WITH THE TV ON) until like 5:00 so I wouldn't fall asleep until like 5:20 because I had to turn the TV off myself.
I started to hate him more and more every day, and I was so tempted to put drugs in his shit and report it to the RA and get him kicked out. Needless to say, I never went that far because I did catch him cheating on his girlfriend one night, so he tried to be nicer to me and more respective of my shit to try to persuade me not to tell his girlfriend.
So out of curiousity, did you say anything to him, or are you like me and are passive agressive?
I suggest making it look like an accident, like accidentaly tripping over and bumping into him causing him to fly backwards down flight of stairs. If that's not cool with your conscience then strangle him with your bare hands and claim temporary insanity because of too much Lloyd Banks. If you're just out to kill him though, push him off a very tall building and yell: "Yeah, you're so fly!" after him.
Good luck to you, kind ser.
Oh just remembered, try to find out where he comes from, then go meet his parents and dig up some dirty secrets of him. Blackmail can be loads of fun.
Well I never really blew up on him, but I said things like "yo man, Ima try to get some sleep, mind if you turn off the TV or turn it really low?" He would say "oh shit man, yea sorry." Then five minutes later, it's just as loud as it was before. But I was more like you. Seriously ask your RA if you can move rooms, I wish I did.
On September 27 2009 03:32 CaucasianAsian wrote: Well I never really blew up on him, but I said things like "yo man, Ima try to get some sleep, mind if you turn off the TV or turn it really low?" He would say "oh shit man, yea sorry." Then five minutes later, it's just as loud as it was before. But I was more like you. Seriously ask your RA if you can move rooms, I wish I did.
I agree with some of the people that I need to try and talk it out, and I will try to talk it out, but if I can't work out things i'm going to see an RA. It's just not worth my time.
On a brighter note, I just got my grade back for my Micro class, Second in the class~~~ I hate whoever was first
Yeah some people behave like this. You can't be passive with them. You have be direct, angry, dominant. They have to know they are pissing you off and they have to know you are not going to take it. They litterally need to fear for their well-being before they respond.
I had a roomate who would piss all over the bathroom and never clean anything so I starting pissing in his room. I would piss on his chair, pillow, and laundry. He caught on pretty quick.
Or what you can try, when he is trying to sleep, wake up early and tune into OGN/MBC Game/ GOM at like 4-5 in the morning, and blast the shit on high volume, making sure you don't miss the screaming of the commentators.
it's funny, but the impression I get from reading this is I'd vastly prefer living with him than with you, even though the retarded rap would be a little tough to bear.
EPT
.
. Sorry.
