My job is so fucking unbelievable. I'll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with:
First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely self-centered and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.
The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career opportunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I'm not sure she even showers, much less shaves her "womanly" parts. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store, she moans like a cat in heat.
But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the fucking stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead. In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I'm sure after work. He probably hasn't been sober anytime in the last ten years, and he's only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960's, and to make things worse, he brings his big fucking dog to work. Every fucking day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it's trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonalds and Burger King, every single fucking day.
Anyway, I drive these fucktards around in my van and we solve mysteries and shit.
It's YOU keeping YOU in this terrible situation. I know full well that you are a high school jock and you could do better than this. Let's face it though there is a reason you keep showing up... You're the leader of this group! You boss everyone around and it makes you feel like something. Well, the truth is you're small. Get some style, lose the bandanna, get a shirt that isn't a polo, and maybe stop dying that god awful hair bleach white. For god sakes if you're gonna try to be a father figure and tell the group to split up and try to figure things out for themselves you could at least LOOK the part!
You do have a few good things going for you though. You never get old with some annoying catchphrase like your cohorts. I'd put it on your resume. The other thing is you do have the looks. That hot chick is into you. Just think about it! How many times does she say something is gross and asks you to go in before her? She may be dumb as rocks but you could surly get something out of it! Once you hit it... Quit it. Quit all of it. Go flip burgers or something, after all you're only like 20 or something. Do that and go get an education.
On September 04 2009 07:03 kidd wrote: Lol that was pretty good although this is assuming you are with them as one of the characters... You described them all already, which one are you?
Omg, ive seen this same one before but i completely forgot about it. As i was reading about the people i was wondering wtf your job is lol. Then the end killed me, i was laughing at work with people watching me like i were crazy.
On September 04 2009 07:50 LeperKahn wrote: Just quit?
It's YOU keeping YOU in this terrible situation. I know full well that you are a high school jock and you could do better than this. Let's face it though there is a reason you keep showing up... You're the leader of this group! You boss everyone around and it makes you feel like something. Well, the truth is you're small. Get some style, lose the bandanna, get a shirt that isn't a polo, and maybe stop dying that god awful hair bleach white. For god sakes if you're gonna try to be a father figure and tell the group to split up and try to figure things out for themselves you could at least LOOK the part!
You do have a few good things going for you though. You never get old with some annoying catchphrase like your cohorts. I'd put it on your resume. The other thing is you do have the looks. That hot chick is into you. Just think about it! How many times does she say something is gross and asks you to go in before her? She may be dumb as rocks but you could surly get something out of it! Once you hit it... Quit it. Quit all of it. Go flip burgers or something, after all you're only like 20 or something. Do that and go get an education.
On September 04 2009 07:50 LeperKahn wrote: Just quit?
It's YOU keeping YOU in this terrible situation. I know full well that you are a high school jock and you could do better than this. Let's face it though there is a reason you keep showing up... You're the leader of this group! You boss everyone around and it makes you feel like something. Well, the truth is you're small. Get some style, lose the bandanna, get a shirt that isn't a polo, and maybe stop dying that god awful hair bleach white. For god sakes if you're gonna try to be a father figure and tell the group to split up and try to figure things out for themselves you could at least LOOK the part!
You do have a few good things going for you though. You never get old with some annoying catchphrase like your cohorts. I'd put it on your resume. The other thing is you do have the looks. That hot chick is into you. Just think about it! How many times does she say something is gross and asks you to go in before her? She may be dumb as rocks but you could surly get something out of it! Once you hit it... Quit it. Quit all of it. Go flip burgers or something, after all you're only like 20 or something. Do that and go get an education.
On September 04 2009 07:50 LeperKahn wrote: Just quit?
It's YOU keeping YOU in this terrible situation. I know full well that you are a high school jock and you could do better than this. Let's face it though there is a reason you keep showing up... You're the leader of this group! You boss everyone around and it makes you feel like something. Well, the truth is you're small. Get some style, lose the bandanna, get a shirt that isn't a polo, and maybe stop dying that god awful hair bleach white. For god sakes if you're gonna try to be a father figure and tell the group to split up and try to figure things out for themselves you could at least LOOK the part!
You do have a few good things going for you though. You never get old with some annoying catchphrase like your cohorts. I'd put it on your resume. The other thing is you do have the looks. That hot chick is into you. Just think about it! How many times does she say something is gross and asks you to go in before her? She may be dumb as rocks but you could surly get something out of it! Once you hit it... Quit it. Quit all of it. Go flip burgers or something, after all you're only like 20 or something. Do that and go get an education.
EPT
![[image loading]](http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/2/24/VelmaLinda.jpg)
