[GOM] Ro16, Day 3

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Evenin'
You: heya
You: how's life?
Stranger: Not good..
You: what's your problem?
Stranger: My lonliness is killing me
Stranger: I have no woman
You: got any friends?
Stranger: Yea, but I don't think they really like me
Stranger: I'm the only one of my group that has a job, so I just think they come over because I have liquor here
You: You're probably right. But there's hope! Did you know that there are over 6 billion people on this planet alone?
You: and most of them have jobs
Stranger: Yea, with that many people on the planet,
Stranger: I figure that at least 1000 of the women must be a good match for me
Stranger: I just wish I could find her
Stranger: I'm dying, here
You: aw
You: I know how you can attract a woman
You: it's 100% sure to work
Stranger: How's that?
You: go here: http://www.gomtv.net/classics3/live/ , download the GOM player, then in 45 minutes, go back to that page and click on the "view live" link, and watch what is presented to you.
You: tomorrow you will be a babe magnet
You: you will become "baller"
You: you will destroy nerds
Stranger: I don't want to be a "baller"
You: merely by breathing
Stranger: I just want someone to cuddle with at night
Stranger: I have a shotgun and some cartridges next to my desk and I think it would be easier to just end it sometimes
You: if your pillow doesn't work, buy a fucking teddy bear
You: christ
You: also, I think you should vote in favor of some more stringent firearm regulations
You: your life may depend on it
Stranger: No
Stranger: I like firearms
Stranger: I just don't like being lonely
Stranger: I have so much love to give but nobody to give it to
You: I have your final solution, and it won't involve you dying
You: ...but it does involve the shotgun.
You: and maybe just an itty-bitty bit of kidnapping
Stranger: Ooh yes
Stranger: I like it
Stranger: I've considered it many times
You: lawl
Stranger: I decided if I ever want to commit suicide, I'm going to kick down my hot neighbor's door with my AK47, rape her, and then off myself
You: that's one way to do it
Stranger: I'll make her kids watch while I rape her
You: that's another
You: y'know what'd be hilarious
You: if you burst into the house and she pulled a gun and killed you before you could rape her
You: ...better start voting for firearm regulations!