EPTI, LastShadOw, am coming to you today to confess my acts of betrayal and angst against the entire community as a whole. What I did was not only moraly wrong, but also betrayal against fellow friends and others. Through the acts of map rigging, I gained an unfair advantage on a player, while having it be hidden through maps, it was like a hack disguised.
For further information on this topic I give to you the Topic which says it like no other:
http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?currentpage=22&topic_id=63176
![G] To LaStShadOw's Map Rigging
Initially I started out broodwar like any other player, just having fun and such, then learning of the proscene I opted to get competitive, however the first player that was good that was willing to help me, was none other than exalted. Through his ways, I gained a severe amount of bad manner that he inflicted upon others and me, I adopted his behavior.. and it was the wrong move.
Eventually after moving on from exalted, I began to play on west, and I wrote a thread on TL.net before my cheating ways began, looking for help, I got it, not because I was good or known, but because I asked kindly and humbly. I did not boast or brag. But eventually.. I did, and it was wrong of me, I overexaggerated my TvP skills and I underestimated other players alike.
Eventually after WGT Beta14Season, I felt like I needed more power to my play... I couldn't stop exalted prior to the wgt14 season.. and so I looked for a way to beat him. I rigged maps.. I gave my units unfair cost and time, and it generally let me have 'untouchable' play. Even still exalted would defy the cheats and still overpower me, but you know, it gave me something, it gave me timing and macro.
Because of the unfair unit count, my tornados would come out faster, and I learned "Oh wow, so this is when the Protoss is doing this, or, Oh wow this is what this protoss has at this time", and it built in to my senses, I felt the game play in minutes and seconds, not by unit count, not by supply count, I learned to play on instincts, and for once.. I felt like I was someone.. it felt good to beat known players, even if I was cheating, it just felt good at the time.
Sure this can be caused by lack of maturity and stupidness on my part, but still it was just so much power, I couldn't stop myself from having unreal macro and sick timing senses, It was too much for me to just throw away.
Eventually I used betrayal, I cheated against my own friends, I used what could be considered a 'hack'. I was not trustworthy, and I lied about doing it above all... I was manipulating everyone that trusted me and believed in me, and it was fucking wrong.
All this time I had been doing what was right, getting defeated to get better. Losing.. the greatest victory. I was getting pummeled by better players, and slowly BUT surely my skill was rising, and people told me it was.. and it felt so damn good to hear it.
And then I thought to myself "What If I can make such a giant jump they would be shocked".. and so it began.. the map rigging. Now, not only did I use it for my own race: Terran, I used it for zerg and protoss... I was really getting bad now.
I bragged and boasted of my wins over top foreigners when I did use it vs them, an example would be vs the Foreign Terran ProGamer(?) IdrA, in which he helped open my eyes too, he showed me by defying my cheats, he put up a 50 minute fight vs my cheats and almost beat me, this showed me that I had yet to learn of the level of play he showed me, IMO that rep should have been a RR @ GG.net for IdrA's play vs a super cheat.
But that is avoiding the topic why I am writing here today, I am writing to apologize to the community as a whole. What I did was completly fucked up.
Not only did I promise to stop using the rigged maps.. I eventually fell prey to them again.. and it was wrong, I lost what I thought and still do feel was the best foreign training I had ever had in my entire career of starcraft. And I am deeply sorry to the betrayal/backstab of all of [Media] and ToT)Incontrol( and all of [FARM] team.. I didn't realize what I had, but now I do.
It's like a neverending nightmare, the fucking lack of responsibility and the ungrateful actions I took can not be forgotten, and I will to live with them for the rest of my SC career and even SC2 if it comes to it. However, I do believe redemption is an ability, and I will fight forever to achieve it.
People think this game is just a game to me.. its not. I have given up friendships and other hobbies I used to do, to invest all my time into this game to the best of my ability, of course I still have my girlfriend, but thats only 1 thing I put before this.
I would not suggest cheating to any player, and I know what I did was morally wrong and fucking deceptive. I fucked up, not once but twice. I ruined trust with friends and just my reputation as a whole. I was wrong in this whole doing, and I take full responbility for my actions and cheating ways.
I thought I'd never get good..unless I cheated to get big, then would play fair to get good.. but it didn't work. I now know I'm a pathetic pitiful person at this current time, and generally am hated by the whole. But that's fine.. I will continue to push forward, and will FUCKING PROMISE and fucking quote it from here at TeamLiquid.Net, LaStShAdOw will not cheat ever again. I will make sure to use this apology as a reminder and the [G]Lastshadow map rigging thread as a fighting way to push forward.
Eventually players started to open my eyes, and I am forever grateful to them.
I would love to thank the following players for believing in me even when times were rough:
Slog4[pG]
Artosis[Media]
ToT)InControl(
SirTasteless[9]
FroZ
these players are all great players and guys, and I loved the time I got to spend with them and play with them. Anyone lucky enough to play with them, it is truly an honor and I really appreciated the help and things you guys all taught me. I am forever grateful. And hope one day things might be good between us again.
I would like to severely apologize to Chill and zulu_nation8 for using the rigged maps vs them in casual hamachi games. I got beat pretty bad too :p, they are the better players in those matchups.
Also, I would like to apologize to any players I have bad manner'd out of anger and or angst. I was probably upset, and did not mean to offend you.
Also, any players I have used the rigged maps against, I would like to apologize, and state that in fact you were probably better than me if I opted to use them. So I am sorry for the cheating there.
However the greatest apology I owe, is to TeamLiquid.Net, for putting up with my bullshit BM for so long, and my arrogance, I took advantage of it, and that was also wrong.
I am very sorry to any players I have insulted or anything like that, especially Chill and zulu_nation8.
I would like to state however, that my Guides were in fact based off of fair plays
, not the rigged maps, and that they were intended to help the struggling Terran, since over at GG.net people were complaing of T's never winning PvT anymore.I am very fucking sorry to everyone that this has caused problems to, and well.. I can't do much else except say I will strive to do much better on the playing field, and without further adue, no more bad manner or arrogance / cheating.
I would like everyone to this thread: http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?currentpage=22&topic_id=63176
For this is what it is like to be a cheater, and get caught, honestly its not worth it.
But I thank everyone out there for the giant kick in the nuts that was so needed to finally push me out of this phase of 'lastshadow 'persona.
My current aka is indeed QcG.LiGhTDarK and LiGhTDarK
And I thank Xeris for not publicly revealing it after having talked with him, for that talk and apology was sincere, and I would like to apologize to World Gaming Tour in itself, for using their Logo as error in my rigged maps, I just wanted to attempt to redeem myself through your ladder, I hoped that it wouldn't be a problem.. And the disconnects from WGT where not all intentional, none were, and I even openly admitted to 2 of them that I typed out GG and left, but it showed Disc?
I'm pitiful as it is for what I did.. my exaggerations.. my cheating.. my abusing, all wrong, and I will not deny it, and now when I look back on it, I kind of laugh at the fact that I needed them to win, hopefully I'll be able to redeem myself through some ladder or something.
NOTHING I DID WAS RIGHT, AND I DO NOT RECOMMEND ABUSING OR HACKING IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM, DO NOT FOLLOW IN MY FOOTSTEPS WHAT SO EVER ELSE http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?currentpage=22&topic_id=63176
WILL HAPPEN TO YOU
So TeamLiquid.Net, I leave it in your hands, let the flame begin which I so rightfully deserver, or let a die-hard StarCrafter have a last shot at this great game and community.
I love you all, and thank you for listening and most of all, thank you for catching me.
Truthfully and Sincerely,
LastShadow
