EPTThis is the first StarCraft II parody I fully recorded. I've been sitting on it for about a year, and I finally decided to finish and publish it today, when I read about the Disney parody portion of the HotS Launch Contest. I also decided, at the last minute, to write in a short fanfic prologue and epilogue. Those are included in the spoilers, if y'all want to read those.
Prologue:
+ Show Spoiler +
There was a hell in this realm, and I'd returned to it.
I wasn't dreaming. This was Char. I'd once sworn never to come back here.
And yet I always knew that my return was inevitable.
I remember learning about our ancestors on Earth centuries ago. They first touched the skies and explored beyond the bubble of their homeworld. They raced each other towards the stars, trusting that one day, when the time came, humans could settle their disputes to face challenges they couldn't even begin to imagine. They believed with all their hearts that our species could put petty quarrels and wars, fought over insignificant bits of land on a speck of a rock, aside, and that they could unite against the real dangers of the cosmos.
They were so wrong. The UED, the Sons of Korhal, Dominions and Confederacies. I scoffed at the thought. "Raynor's Raiders."
I knew why I started the fight. I still believed in it. But I had long lost the illusion of what was "right." Was I fighting for the greater good? Sure, in my eyes. But at the end of the day, we were all fighting the same war. Ideology. The divisive cancer that had plagued humanity since the very beginning. We'd rip each other, and our own selves, to shreds before we gave it up. No, there was no right here. There was only wrong and less wrong. Not even Matt understood that. Maybe it was best he didn't.
I heard a blast behind me, followed by the sound of 130 pounds of titanium crashing into the ground..
"*thud* Aww, damn it!"
Pvt. Jenkins, a technician who had been enlisted to operate a Reaper and assist our recon operations on Char, had tried to fire a Concussive Shell while wearing someone else's Marauder. The recoil was not kind to his scrawny 90-pound body. Now he was lying on his ass.
At least he would have been if the damn suit weren't on backwards.
"Dumbass," I scolded as I helped him out of the suit, "This thing is worth more than your entire G. I. bill."
"Sorry Commander, I just wante--"
"If I wanted an apology or an explanation, I would have asked for it, Private. Just get in the damn Reaper."
"Yes sir." He scurried away past a dozen other fumbling trainees.
These guys were useless. Almost all my good men were dead or missing from the landing, and the mercenaries were hours away. I knew I had to say something.
"ATTENTION!"
I stood on my stump and began to speak...
I wasn't dreaming. This was Char. I'd once sworn never to come back here.
And yet I always knew that my return was inevitable.
I remember learning about our ancestors on Earth centuries ago. They first touched the skies and explored beyond the bubble of their homeworld. They raced each other towards the stars, trusting that one day, when the time came, humans could settle their disputes to face challenges they couldn't even begin to imagine. They believed with all their hearts that our species could put petty quarrels and wars, fought over insignificant bits of land on a speck of a rock, aside, and that they could unite against the real dangers of the cosmos.
They were so wrong. The UED, the Sons of Korhal, Dominions and Confederacies. I scoffed at the thought. "Raynor's Raiders."
I knew why I started the fight. I still believed in it. But I had long lost the illusion of what was "right." Was I fighting for the greater good? Sure, in my eyes. But at the end of the day, we were all fighting the same war. Ideology. The divisive cancer that had plagued humanity since the very beginning. We'd rip each other, and our own selves, to shreds before we gave it up. No, there was no right here. There was only wrong and less wrong. Not even Matt understood that. Maybe it was best he didn't.
I heard a blast behind me, followed by the sound of 130 pounds of titanium crashing into the ground..
"*thud* Aww, damn it!"
Pvt. Jenkins, a technician who had been enlisted to operate a Reaper and assist our recon operations on Char, had tried to fire a Concussive Shell while wearing someone else's Marauder. The recoil was not kind to his scrawny 90-pound body. Now he was lying on his ass.
At least he would have been if the damn suit weren't on backwards.
"Dumbass," I scolded as I helped him out of the suit, "This thing is worth more than your entire G. I. bill."
"Sorry Commander, I just wante--"
"If I wanted an apology or an explanation, I would have asked for it, Private. Just get in the damn Reaper."
"Yes sir." He scurried away past a dozen other fumbling trainees.
These guys were useless. Almost all my good men were dead or missing from the landing, and the mercenaries were hours away. I knew I had to say something.
"ATTENTION!"
I stood on my stump and began to speak...
Song:
Epilogue:
+ Show Spoiler +
A sigh of despair escaped my lips. If this was the best we could do, we had already lost. None of us would leave this place alive.
I started to go back into the shelter to finalize our assault plans, when I heard a loud whirring come down from the sky. I looked back. Three Dominion ships had landed out front. General Warfield, new arm glistening in the volcanic light, stepped off the first transport. Seven squads of Dominion troops exited behind him, immediately running to reinforce the perimeter.
Perhaps there was hope for the Terran race after all...
I started to go back into the shelter to finalize our assault plans, when I heard a loud whirring come down from the sky. I looked back. Three Dominion ships had landed out front. General Warfield, new arm glistening in the volcanic light, stepped off the first transport. Seven squads of Dominion troops exited behind him, immediately running to reinforce the perimeter.
Perhaps there was hope for the Terran race after all...
Anyway, I hope you like it! I plan on releasing much more content (including a version of this with gameplay video, if time allows) in the future =) I'll keep y'all posted!
