EPTOk, so we had fall break last weekend. most of campus went home, but there were a few people who stayed. One of my roommates, evan, stayed cause he went home this weekend to go to the patriots/jets football game. Another one of my roommates, Jim, wasnt leaving until saturday morning, so he was here on Friday night with Evan after most of campus had left.
So on friday night, evan and jim went to the mall and decided to eat some thai food. Neither of them have a car, but my friend kelley took a flight home to connecticut so he let evan have his car for the 4 day weekend.
After they ate, they were driving home and Jim suddenly goes "dude, evan, speed up i gotta take a massive shit". The mall is probably about 15 minutes away from our apartment, but Jim always says shit like that so evan replies with "fuck you, you always say that shit, dont cry wolf". Jim: "no dude im serious, i really have to go". So evan sped up a little bit.
On our campus there are a few speed bumps, including one about 200 yards away from our apartment. Evan went over that one kinda fast and Jim suddenly felt better. "Oh, must have been a false alarm". So, they pull up outside, Jim gets out of the car and bends over to pick up a piece of garbage when suddenly the cramps come back times 10.
Evan jumps out of the car and runs into our apartment and up the stairs as fast as he can. Jim waddles in behind him screaming "NO EVAN DONT GO BEFORE ME NO". Evan ran into the bathroom and started taking a shit before jim got up the stairs.
Jim starts freaking out halfway up the stairs. he heard the door click shut and he stood there for about 10 seconds. Then, Jim shit himself....
when i say shit himself, i dont mean a little nugget. I mean shit everywhere, running down his leg, all over his pants, on the stairs, fucking everywhere. He threw out his jeans and boxers, took a shower, and cried himself to sleep.
That night I got a call from Evan hysterically laughing talking about Jimbo not having control of his bowel movements. When he got home, his girlfriend bought him a new pair of jeans so he was happy.
better one coming next week...
