On September 01 2009 19:09 LilClinkin wrote: Ok thanks for the replies guys, thing is, I'm not the guy trying to cut some ones lunch: I'm the guy having my lunch cut.
My girlfriend of 2 (almost 3) years is currently on medical school rotations in the country, so I only get to see her on weekends. Apparently one of the guys with her is in the situation I described in the original post: Made friends under the pretense he currently has a girlfriend, yet admits to her today that he has broken up with said girlfriend and has a crush on my girl.
Normally I'm not angry if a guy has a crush on my girlfriend, it's happened before and I was okay with it. How ever, I'm pretty pissed off in this case because as I said, he is aware that she and I have been together for a long time, he is aware that we're going through a new experience as we come to terms with only seeing each other on weekends, and he basically gets to see her from morning to night monday-friday. Add onto that the fact that he has probably been lying to her at least 1 week of having a girlfriend and has used it to talk about fairly intimate stuff about our relationship, and I am feeling quite fucking pissed off.
I guess I made this topic because as I said, I'm not really the jealous type...but I do I think I have a right to be pissed off in this situation, and I want TL opinions about it.
PS. I'm not really concerned about her ditching me for the guy, she is a very loyal girl and I trust her. But that doesn't change the fact that I think this guy is a huge faggot.
Hypothetically:
If you have a crush on a girl, who you know is in a stable relationship with another guy for at least 2 years, do you tell her?
Give reasons as to why/why not tell her.
Does it make a difference if you know the guy?
Does it make you a shit bloke if you tell her?
Does it make it bad if you've befriended her under the pretense that you yourself have a girlfriend, yet in fact you actually broke up with said girlfriend a month ago?
On September 01 2009 18:05 LilClinkin wrote: If you have a crush on a girl, who you know is in a stable relationship with another guy for at least 2 years, do you tell her?
No, I'm a pussy and I wouldn't compete with a guy already in a relationship. I think it's cruel.
On September 01 2009 18:05 LilClinkin wrote:Does it make a difference if you know the guy?
If you know the guy well, and he's not an asshole, even more reason not to tell her.
On September 01 2009 18:05 LilClinkin wrote:Does it make you a shit bloke if you tell her?
No, believe it or not, girls have a will of their own and I think she'd decide for herself how to proceed.
On September 01 2009 18:05 LilClinkin wrote: Does it make it bad if you've befriended her under the pretense that you yourself have a girlfriend, yet in fact you actually broke up with said girlfriend a month ago?
Yes, building up lies is not a good way to start a relationship.
I wouldn't tell her... maybe if she'd been with the guy a very short time i'd think about it. But thats a serious relationship she's in, I highly doubt she'd break up with him for you and you having nothing else to gain by telling her other then a lot of awkward moments in the future between you.
Btw. whatever you do don't lie about having broke up with your gf... Tell her at the next available (appropriate) moment. Don't randomly just say "i lied and i havent been with my gf for a month" just say "me and so so broke up". If she finds out you havent been together any other way (and for a long time) it's gona be hella awkward too...
Getting caught up on girls who are taken is probably the worst feeling ever, but there's not much u can do but get over it imo.
No, get drunk and forget about her. Preferably don't talk to her until your crush passes. Unless the guy is misstreating her or something don't be the dickhead that's her friend and says bad things about her. And anyway, if she does tell you he is misstreating her or that she's losing interest then she probably sees you as a friend so your chance are still pretty low.
On September 01 2009 18:05 LilClinkin wrote: Okay hypothetically:
If you have a crush on a girl, who you know is in a stable relationship with another guy for at least 2 years, do you tell her?
Give reasons as to why/why not tell her.
Does it make a difference if you know the guy?
Does it make you a shit bloke if you tell her?
Does it make it bad if you've befriended her under the pretense that you yourself have a girlfriend, yet in fact you actually broke up with said girlfriend a month ago?
Do not tell her under any circumstances. It will ruin your friendship, except if you are sure that she is into you too.
Do not tell her under any circumstances. It will ruin your friendship, except if you are sure that she is into you too.
A friendship with a woman is so overrated, the ultimate goal is to get a relationship with a girl even if it means a possible risk of destroying a friendship, which is in my opinion fine.
On September 01 2009 18:05 LilClinkin wrote: Okay hypothetically:
Riiiiiiight.
On September 01 2009 18:05 LilClinkin wrote: If you have a crush on a girl, who you know is in a stable relationship with another guy for at least 2 years, do you tell her?
Give reasons as to why/why not tell her.
Eh thats a tough one, depends on whether or not you think shes better off with you, if your willing to be responsible for breaking up a happy relationship etc etc. If it's just a crush (read: will pass in time) like you say I'd say don't do it man.
On September 01 2009 18:05 LilClinkin wrote: Does it make a difference if you know the guy?
Oh yes, then it's just a dick move. Already was, but if you know the guy even more so.
On September 01 2009 18:05 LilClinkin wrote: Does it make you a shit bloke if you tell her?
Kinda.
On September 01 2009 18:05 LilClinkin wrote:Does it make it bad if you've befriended her under the pretense that you yourself have a girlfriend, yet in fact you actually broke up with said girlfriend a month ago?
Lying to the woman you're trying to steal from a guy you know. Real classy.
Don't be a lunch cutter, especially if they are both happy atm (two years man) I wouldn't tell her (I've been in this scenario before, she's now married with a child), reason being she's already happy with who she is with.
Unfortunately the heart wants what the heart wants, if you do decide to tell her, there's a good chance she will tell her current bf and you may want to prepare for a visit from said bf. He would most likely want to have (hopefully a friendly) talk with you.
Yes it does make a difference if you do know the guy, it may even be awkward.
On September 01 2009 18:05 LilClinkin wrote: If you have a crush on a girl, who you know is in a stable relationship with another guy for at least 2 years, do you tell her?
Not really, because in 99 times out of a hundred nothing good will come out of it. Could be an alternative if she's shown some serious signs of affection/wanting something "more." If you're currently good friends with her you might fuck that up.
On September 01 2009 18:05 LilClinkin wrote:Does it make a difference if you know the guy?
well personally I don't believe much in this "bro's before hoes"-crap people go on about, because in reality such a thing don't exist. But if you are friends with the guy you should understand that your friendship might be at stake if you tell her, which adds up with the other reasons not to tell her.
On September 01 2009 18:05 LilClinkin wrote:Does it make you a shit bloke if you tell her?
Um, not really but you can be sure her boyfriend thinks so. Anyhow you're not doing yourself a favor in doing so.
On September 01 2009 18:05 LilClinkin wrote: Does it make it bad if you've befriended her under the pretense that you yourself have a girlfriend, yet in fact you actually broke up with said girlfriend a month ago?
Ok thanks for the replies guys, thing is, I'm not the guy trying to cut some ones lunch: I'm the guy having my lunch cut.
My girlfriend of 2 (almost 3) years is currently on medical school rotations in the country, so I only get to see her on weekends. Apparently one of the guys with her is in the situation I described in the original post: Made friends under the pretense he currently has a girlfriend, yet admits to her today that he has broken up with said girlfriend and has a crush on my girl.
Normally I'm not angry if a guy has a crush on my girlfriend, it's happened before and I was okay with it. How ever, I'm pretty pissed off in this case because as I said, he is aware that she and I have been together for a long time, he is aware that we're going through a new experience as we come to terms with only seeing each other on weekends, and he basically gets to see her from morning to night monday-friday. Add onto that the fact that he has probably been lying to her at least 1 week of having a girlfriend and has used it to talk about fairly intimate stuff about our relationship, and I am feeling quite fucking pissed off.
I guess I made this topic because as I said, I'm not really the jealous type...but I do I think I have a right to be pissed off in this situation, and I want TL opinions about it.
PS. I'm not really concerned about her ditching me for the guy, she is a very loyal girl and I trust her. But that doesn't change the fact that I think this guy is a huge faggot.
On September 01 2009 18:05 LilClinkin wrote:Does it make it bad if you've befriended her under the pretense that you yourself have a girlfriend, yet in fact you actually broke up with said girlfriend a month ago?
Don't start a game without a clear plan in mind... your build is too fucked to continue. Just type out, pretend you weren't playing for serious, and figure out your goals before you enter a match with someone else.
EDIT: Oh, your girlfriend got proxied. Just BM the douchebag and go on with your life. (If he persists, remind her that harassment is illegal.)
EPT
