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Don't post in this thread to say "gay gamers are like everyone else, why do they have a special thread?" It is something that has been posted numerous times, and this isn't the place for that discussion.
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On March 29 2012 02:28 Josketh wrote:
The thing that is getting me annoyed is that we've addressed violence.
Now, if you are getting called various things and lash out violently, you are weak. You allowed your tormentors to hold power over you.
If you are being called names, then they become violent. Defend yourself, take legal action, what ever you need to do to stop it.
The words used aren't important. Safety is priority. You are safer against words so you don't need all the legalities.
You really don't see how there is a very distinct progression from words to action? And if, in the past, certain words have consistently been associated with certain acts of violence, you really don't understand how those words become very real threats? When you use those words you're actually making threats. If you don't actually intend violence then you shouldn't use those words. And when someone does use those words it's perfectly reasonable to say "those words make me uncomfortable you should not use them."
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On March 29 2012 04:42 Klondikebar wrote:Show nested quote +On March 29 2012 02:28 Josketh wrote:
The thing that is getting me annoyed is that we've addressed violence.
Now, if you are getting called various things and lash out violently, you are weak. You allowed your tormentors to hold power over you.
If you are being called names, then they become violent. Defend yourself, take legal action, what ever you need to do to stop it.
The words used aren't important. Safety is priority. You are safer against words so you don't need all the legalities. You really don't see how there is a very distinct progression from words to action? And if, in the past, certain words have consistently been associated with certain acts of violence, you really don't understand how those words become very real threats? When you use those words you're actually making threats. If you don't actually intend violence then you shouldn't use those words. And when someone does use those words it's perfectly reasonable to say "those words make me uncomfortable you should not use them."
I'm not talking about progression to physical violence. I never was. No one says bullying is okay. No one says physical violence is okay. Are you so hot? Please break from your passion.
Not all words graduate to violence.
MORE IMPORTANTLY, the fatal part of bullying is the fact that the kids don't have a support system to back them up. Will you not conceive? The reason people like me and others who received bullying of any kind make it out alive is not because of thick skin or something we were born with, it was because we had support systems. I had my friends and teachers that backed me up. Others have had friends, siblings, adults, internet, SOMETHING to keep them above it all. Those kids who kill themselves didn't have such a thing available to them. The words gave them doubt. The lack of a support system killed them.
And if anyone is someone who can go through it all entirely alone without support, you are, indeed, a rare being.
Which would you rather do, cover the whole or fill it? Which actually solves the problem?
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On March 29 2012 05:26 Josketh wrote:Show nested quote +On March 29 2012 04:42 Klondikebar wrote:On March 29 2012 02:28 Josketh wrote:
The thing that is getting me annoyed is that we've addressed violence.
Now, if you are getting called various things and lash out violently, you are weak. You allowed your tormentors to hold power over you.
If you are being called names, then they become violent. Defend yourself, take legal action, what ever you need to do to stop it.
The words used aren't important. Safety is priority. You are safer against words so you don't need all the legalities. You really don't see how there is a very distinct progression from words to action? And if, in the past, certain words have consistently been associated with certain acts of violence, you really don't understand how those words become very real threats? When you use those words you're actually making threats. If you don't actually intend violence then you shouldn't use those words. And when someone does use those words it's perfectly reasonable to say "those words make me uncomfortable you should not use them." MORE IMPORTANTLY, the fatal part of bullying is the fact that the kids don't have a support system to back them up. Will you not conceive? The reason people like me and others who received bullying of any kind make it out alive is not because of thick skin or something we were born with, it was because we had support systems. I had my friends and teachers that backed me up. Others have had friends, siblings, adults, internet, SOMETHING to keep them above it all. Those kids who kill themselves didn't have such a thing available to them. The words gave them doubt. The lack of a support system killed them.
This, a thousand times this, though I don't necessarily agree with your conclusion, I think this idea is perfect. I hated bullying, I was bullied, harassed, borderline assaulted (sexually) and many other horrific things, all by other kids. When I went to prep school, I didn't have to worry about that, so I joined up with my school's GSA and worked with an organization that was, in my opinion, trying to solve the issue the best way we can right now.
It all boils down to one thing, education. It takes a two front assault on ignorance, that of the person who is bullying, and that of the person being bullied. The group educated bullies and even those who were just ignorant of the hurt they were causing about the words they were using, why they are degrading at a basal level of those people and even had well known gay people come in and talk about how being gay is not a bad thing. They also educated the victims by offering 24/7 local phone support, many events and even a small recreation center in the biggest city in my state for at risk LGBTQ youth to hang out at, help out the cause, study, etc.
It is this approach that is the only one that will work, educating the next generation of straight and gay people about themselves, and common decency and respect for your fellow human. If everyone were more educated about these things, less bullying would happen (and some of the group's surveys indicate that after a program was complete, kids felt safer). You can't aggressively perform total war on bullying, it is a battle no one will ever be able to win, and it will only make the bullying worse. I hate it when people use the faggot word to mean stupid or do degrade others, but attacking the language will not get you as far as attacking the ignorance powering that language and the sentiment that drives it.
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Thank you for that post, drshdwpuppet.
I agree that education is key. The more people know about each other, the more they can find in common. We are all responsible for giving the next generations a fighting chance. Education, support, and love are the tools to make it all happen.
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On March 28 2012 08:03 Roe wrote:Show nested quote +On March 28 2012 07:51 neoghaleon55 wrote:On March 28 2012 07:17 Roe wrote:It's the same idea as yelling fire in a crowded Theater (it's illegal in America).
Freedom of speech is nice...but there should be some limitations.
If someone can get hurt because of your words, you should probably not use it. Why exactly is that law in place? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shouting_fire_in_a_crowded_theater Reading that still left me questioning the law. Oh well, I guess some people have made up their minds that humans will forever be stuck in Plato's cave.
I know right? As if people couldn't deduce that there's a fucking fire in a theater.
Americans for yah. 
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On March 29 2012 15:00 HeavOnEarth wrote:Show nested quote +On March 28 2012 08:03 Roe wrote:On March 28 2012 07:51 neoghaleon55 wrote:On March 28 2012 07:17 Roe wrote:It's the same idea as yelling fire in a crowded Theater (it's illegal in America).
Freedom of speech is nice...but there should be some limitations.
If someone can get hurt because of your words, you should probably not use it. Why exactly is that law in place? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shouting_fire_in_a_crowded_theater Reading that still left me questioning the law. Oh well, I guess some people have made up their minds that humans will forever be stuck in Plato's cave. I know right? As if people couldn't deduce that there's a fucking fire in a theater. Americans for yah.
American theaters are quite large.
You cannot tell if another part of the building's on fire...
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On March 29 2012 15:37 Sirois wrote:
I've thought about it, and i'm pretty sure i'm gay.
What do I do from here exactly? How do I go about this?
depends on where you are in life. If you live with parents who are bigots who would throw you out on the streets, it's best not to say anything until you move out. If you're already established, then you could start letting your friends know.
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On March 29 2012 15:46 neoghaleon55 wrote:Show nested quote +On March 29 2012 15:37 Sirois wrote:
I've thought about it, and i'm pretty sure i'm gay.
What do I do from here exactly? How do I go about this? depends on where you are in life. If you live with parents who are bigots who would throw you out on the streets, it's best not to say anything until you move out. If you're already established, then you could start letting your friends know.
yeah, or find out (if you don't already know) who among your closer friends is homophobic and who's not, without letting them know.
also, find out how much that affects your life overall. I'm pretty much out of the closet and have no problem anymore with anybody knowing that I've got a boyfriend, yet not even all of my family knows, since I just never told em nor did they meet my BF. I would if the situation comes up, but mreh, just not as important ya know?
if you like to go clubbing and hook up different guys every week, you probably should tell your closer friends and family though  (only if possible of course, no need to make life more complicated than it already is)
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United Kingdom36161 Posts
On March 29 2012 05:26 Josketh wrote:Show nested quote +On March 29 2012 04:42 Klondikebar wrote:On March 29 2012 02:28 Josketh wrote:
The thing that is getting me annoyed is that we've addressed violence.
Now, if you are getting called various things and lash out violently, you are weak. You allowed your tormentors to hold power over you.
If you are being called names, then they become violent. Defend yourself, take legal action, what ever you need to do to stop it.
The words used aren't important. Safety is priority. You are safer against words so you don't need all the legalities. You really don't see how there is a very distinct progression from words to action? And if, in the past, certain words have consistently been associated with certain acts of violence, you really don't understand how those words become very real threats? When you use those words you're actually making threats. If you don't actually intend violence then you shouldn't use those words. And when someone does use those words it's perfectly reasonable to say "those words make me uncomfortable you should not use them." I'm not talking about progression to physical violence. I never was. No one says bullying is okay. No one says physical violence is okay. Are you so hot? Please break from your passion.
The problem is, you don't appear to be reading the posts of those conversing with you. But never mind.
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On March 29 2012 21:48 kentriarch wrote:I sense a lot of upset nerds here after tonight's GSL + Show Spoiler +
OH MY TIT FRACKING GAWD ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!!?! HOW?! He's supposed to be the best...like no one ever was...*cry*
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It sucks that the LGBT community needs things like Pride parades and special groups (although yeah I believe it's necessary due to all the bullying). The difference between gay and straight should be like the difference between people in open and exclusive relationships. Everybody treats you normally despite how you manage you sexual life.
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Just noticed the birthday icon, so happy birthday marvellosity! Hope you had a great one
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Happy Birthday Marv!!!!!!!!!!!
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On March 29 2012 21:04 marvellosity wrote:Show nested quote +On March 29 2012 05:26 Josketh wrote:On March 29 2012 04:42 Klondikebar wrote:On March 29 2012 02:28 Josketh wrote:
The thing that is getting me annoyed is that we've addressed violence.
Now, if you are getting called various things and lash out violently, you are weak. You allowed your tormentors to hold power over you.
If you are being called names, then they become violent. Defend yourself, take legal action, what ever you need to do to stop it.
The words used aren't important. Safety is priority. You are safer against words so you don't need all the legalities. You really don't see how there is a very distinct progression from words to action? And if, in the past, certain words have consistently been associated with certain acts of violence, you really don't understand how those words become very real threats? When you use those words you're actually making threats. If you don't actually intend violence then you shouldn't use those words. And when someone does use those words it's perfectly reasonable to say "those words make me uncomfortable you should not use them." I'm not talking about progression to physical violence. I never was. No one says bullying is okay. No one says physical violence is okay. Are you so hot? Please break from your passion. The problem is, you don't appear to be reading the posts of those conversing with you. But never mind.
Happy Birthday, by the way.
I am reading the posts, but we aren't talking about physical bullying because there is nothing to discuss. We all feel the same way about all kinds of bullying, right. What I am trying to communicate is that there is a bigger issue than just words. The people using the words need to be held accountable, but I'm not into the game where no one can say anything because everyone is offended by anything. When we censor what we say, you have to censor EVERYTHING offensive to anyone to be fair. Our youth need to be taught how to love, be loved, and act out of love. We need to have support systems for these kids. To me this isn't a gay thing or a black thing or whatever. This is for our future.
We all don't want bullying. No one is saying any thing to allow bullying in any form. But I would rather fix the problem at the roots. It is a losing battle to try to just cease bullying at the surface. Bullies will just take it where you can't police if we do it that way.
Tell us all about that birthday adventure!
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EPT
