The Dipsy Doodle Derby

by lichter

Welcome folks to another thrilling run of the Wacky Races. The Dipsy Doodle Derby of Group D will decide which duo draws a date for the Ro16 and which two players take a tumble. It's going to be a tight encounter so expect thrills, spills, and a few dastardly deeds!




In pole position is Peter Perfect in the Turbo Terrific.



Our herO has been constant and consistent through the seasons and rarely places outside the top 8 spots of every race he enters. Unfortunately, when the engines heat up the Turbo Terrific decides to fall into pieces. His predictable moves and tendency to use the same tricks in every race often gets the better of him in the latter stages, but Peter Perfect is just good enough to always place well. Occasionally he does go the distance as he did at the Fast Track to KeSPAnsack Cup, but questions still remain. Put two boulders in his way and it often leads to catastrophe!



Following right behind him is Sergeant Blast and Private Meekly in the Army Surplus Special. Once upon a time Private Meekly manned the guns and influenced the big tank's moves more than his officer, but it seems times have changed. They won the last big race in spectacular fashion, as the Surplus Special finally found a balance between Meekly's conservative approach and the Sarge's gung-ho offense. They followed that up with another first place at the Overseas Homestory Race, but it did look a little rocky. The Suprlus Special has trouble against racers of its type, and it could be a liability heading into this derby. Yet Sarge and Meekly will Rain down the pain on anyone that gets in their way.



The defending champ will first have to butt heads with the Ant Hill Mob in the Bullet Proof Bomb. The tiny terror recently won gold at a major, though none of the competition was as good as the two racers heading today's race. It's difficult to tell whether that confidence boost will be enough to propel the tommy gun gang past the two favorites, but they will certainly come prepared. The Ant Hill Mob is known for their nimble digits and multitasking, although they do have trouble with coordination at times. They have found some success in their late race style recently, but they have struggled on tracks with small chokes and pathways. The mob is a bad loser Losira, and we wouldn't be shocked if they brought a bag of cheese to the derby.



Behind all three is the big underdog, Rufus Ruffcut and Sawtooth in the Buzzwagon. The lumberjack might not be the most skillful or the most finessed, but with the right tools he can Hack down any obstacle and any opponent. We haven't seen him in many races in recent memory, but he qualified for this race by beating a big favorite in a dirty slugfest. It didn't look pretty—and it always never is with the Buzzwagon—but we have to admit it can be super effective. Expect Ruffcut to go into the offensive early and try to gain advantage with unrelenting pressure.



Peter Perfect and the Army Surplus Special both have the track record in today's race, but they have proven vulnerable before. Will the Ant Hill Mob crank it up in time? Will the Buzzwagon bulldoze its way through? Find out on tonight's Wacky Races!



Predictions:

All things considered, Rain should advance in first place. Barring some recent hiccups, he is still the much better player compared to Losira. His PvP may not be the best, but if he has a good plan he could easily sweep aside herO, a great player equally confounded by the mirror. They should meet in the winner's match, and the loser should still be favored against either Hack or Losira. With no pressure on, it's up to Hack and Losira to come up with some novel ways to upset the two protoss titans.

Rain > Losira
Hack < herO
Rain > herO
Losira > Hack
herO > Losira

Rain and herO to advance to the Ro16!