Serious Business - Page 3

I've been a lurker for a long time so this is just from my perspective.

WHY DO I LURK?

I've been visiting TL frequently for over four years and I've only started posting recently. I didn't even make an account until a few years into my visits. I think there's a few reasons for this.

In real life, when you 'post' an opinion, you usually get a response. When I discuss a topic with a friend, there is real-time rapport as we exchange ideas. This conversation is what we're used to - this back and forth talk.

There are many differences online. On the internet, when one posts an opinion, there is a chance for a response. Someone might quote you, although more often than not it's to laugh at you or ridicule you. For less articulated individuals such as myself, my ideas may be taken out of context. Then, by the time I find out, the topic is 10 days old and closed. But the vast majority of the time, nothing happens. Noone quotes you and your opinion is not acknowledged as the later posts soon leave your ideas isolated on page 3 or something.

This is so darn different from what I'm used to. I remember I posted a bit earlier in my years thinking to myself "wow, people are gonna love this idea! I wonder how many people will share these beliefs and respond with their own stories?" However, to my disappointment, my "brilliant insight" was completely overlooked as the next posts devolved into a flame war. As this kept happening, the negative reinforcement just turned me off posting online, anywhere. What was the point? People online ignore you whereas people in real life listen to my rants and respond with rants of their own. This was my mentality as a lurker.

Personally speaking as a science major, I think our brains are hard-wired to behave a certain way. We've evolved to be used to real-life circumstances where our insatiable hunger for social acceptance is more easily appeased. Things are different online but luckily for us homo sapiens, we can adapt to new situations and environments.

Of course, the story doesn't end there. I'm typing this up and I've overcome my "lurking". One day, I just realized the internet isn't real life. There are differences, for better or for worse, and I have to just accept them. To function socially online, I realized I had to abandon my excessive real-life social needs for acknowledgment and acceptance. Actually, I also analyzed my own behaviour on these forums. I mean, as a lurker, I'm part of the problem. I'm not acknowledging people! Too often, I just read their comments, think "wow, that was interesting", and move on. I could have easily quoted the man and commented "thanks for sharing!". Bam, problem solved. Plus, I realized that everytime I post something, people will read it. TL has a large community and I'm sure someone will read my post even if they don't physically acknowledge it with a quote or comment. Knowing that 1) online isn't real life; 2) I'm part of the problem; and 3) people are reading my posts, has really helped me shed my lurking skin.

So to the lurkers that share my views, I advise you to post. If a topic irks you, post your opinion. If someone says something completely wrong about something, don't be afraid to correct him with your expert knowledge. If you feel you have something more to add to a topic, add it! You may not get acknowledged all the time like in real life but you will be getting through to real people.

Anyways, this is all opinion. I hope someone reads it!