Touhou Discussion Thread - Page 251

On August 15 2012 08:32 Caller wrote:

nono, you're doing it wrong-the middle is the best placement when all are unoccupied. consider for example if you will that the one furthest away tends to be the kiddie urinal. consider that the one closest is desired by people in a rush. You leave those two vacant for those contingencies, and assuming that they will be filled, you naturally settle in the one furthest away from both contingencies-namely, the middle.

[...] to choose the middle urinal is to deny any subsequent patron of the urinals the opportunity to pee in isolation while you are still at your business. To choose the middle of three urinals is to commit an act of pure, unadulterated selfishness, and for it one should be ashamed.

On August 15 2012 09:09 Archas wrote:

I must respectfully posit that you are full of shit. Consider the following scenario:

You enter a public restroom with three urinals, all unoccupied. You have three goals in mind. First and foremost, you must take a leak. However, you are not a homosexual, and thusly do not want people to gawk at your cock. This brings your second goal into play, which is to refrain from providing an opportunity for new entrants to take a position adjacent to your own urinal (a situation that maximizes the possibility of obtaining an eyeful of dick). Finally, you have at least a shred of decency, and would prefer to assume a position in the stall where others entering the restroom can have a shot at executing Goal 2 on their own.

Given these three goals, why the fuck would you choose the middle urinal?! I'll tell you why: because you're an inconsiderate, evil faggot. Allow me to quote a reliable source¹ on why taking the middle is fucked up:


Why would you deny your fellow man the chance to piss in private, you sick fuck? No! What you do is take your position at the furthest urinal from the door. This is because the furthest urinal is generally the least used, and therefore the cleanest. Additionally, on the occasion that others who are in dire need of relief (hint: about to piss their pants) enter the restroom while you are still going about your business, you can smile at yourself for knowing you have provided them with the nearest urinal for quick release. On top of all that, you minimize not only your own chance at involuntarily glimpsing another man's wang, but the chances of those who may subsequently enter the lavatory as well. Pat yourself on the back; you've made the right decision.

TAKING THE MIDDLE STALL IS ANATHEMA TO ALL OF THE PREVIOUS LOGIC AND REASONING. You maximize dick-viewing probability (referred to as P(DV) in scholastic circles), deprive others of enjoying a piss in solitude, and come across as a giant asshole to everybody who may be present because you have just committed a cardinal sin. Go kill yourself.

¹ The International Center for Bathroom Etiquette

EDIT: Regarding your concern about the presence of a kiddy urinal, I am inclined to agree that such an option is lacking. However, many establishments do not have them, and if they do, it is generally advised to use the closest urinal to the door instead. This act admittedly fucks over those "in a rush", but sometimes your bladder takes priority over others. They'll understand it was a necessary evil.

However, if you are bold and daring, you should choose the middle urinal. This immediately gains you command and authority over the entire urinal bank, while still maintaining the highest possible MPPNBA. Manners and power, and unbeatable combination.