Official 'what is Dota anymore' discussion - Page 282

Yeah there were just so many reasons why this year's TI4 finals were absolute shit.
1) My favorite teams being eliminated. Alliance eliminated in group stage. Na'Vi eliminated. C9 eliminated. EG eliminated. Na'Vi.US eliminated just kidding they are nobody's favorite team. I don't need anyone on this subreddit to explain to me the nature of competition, and how teams can only either win and continue playing, or lose and drop out. I don't want to hear that shit. When is IceFrog going to nerf Chinese teams? I think next year's International should be patched so that only one or two Chinese teams can enter the competition. Failing that, we need GabeN to make another version of the International, called the Americas where only teams from North America and Europe can play.
2) Boring playstyle. It's well known that the Chinese have the rare ability to make any playstyle boring. This is evidenced by the fact that they are playing the exact style that old Na'Vi were famous for (KILLFUCKINGEVERYTHING), yet it is still somehow boring. If they rice for 90 minutes it's boring. If Burning's Naga rats, it's boring. If they play deathball it's boring. Over 1kill/minute in every single game of this year's Grand Final? Get out of here with that math shit. Everyone knows the ideal Kill-per-minute is around 0.75kpm to 0.96322kpm. Anything outside of this arbitrary range is FUKCNG BOIRNG. Also games are ending too soon, which brings me to my next point.
3) Games are ending too soon. Games should last at least 30 minutes, or how else will I be able to slack off at work long enough to last the work day? I don't want to hear the fact that how long games last for is entirely out of the players' control. They're here to entertain me, goddammit. All I care about is watching some good ol' 'Murican DOTO while I drink my Bud Light. I can't even get decently buzzed on a 15 minute game.
4) Same picks every single game by the Chinese.They pick the same damn picks every round and win it's so disgusting. This year’s Grand Final had the same picks like Shadow Shaman, Nature’s Prophet, Ancient KAPPArition and Sand King every game. Why can’t it be like last year's Grand Final between two tax paying, Aryan teams where we had Wisp, Batrider, Alch and Nature's Prophet every game instead? I think Chinese teams need to vary their picks more, because they are playing for my enjoyment as an audience member and I can't enjoy DOTA when they keep conforming to tradition and picking the same heroes every game. The games need to be more like TI2 where there was the same strat and same heroes in every single game, or TI3 where there was the same strat and same heroes in every single game, or even TI1 where we had the same strat and same heroes every game. Picking a strategy again that worked before in a tournament for money makes no sense at all. Fucking Chinese have no originality.
5) Nationalism. There were rumors floating around that NewBee are racists and love China. This is despicable. America is the only country anyone should feel any pride for. This is evidenced by the fact that nobody cares when the crowd cheers USA USA USA but posts about Chinese nationalism makes the front page on this subreddit. Martin Luther King Jr. turned around in his grave today because RACISM FUKCIN WON. Also, in a rare turn of events, Communism won as well for the first time in history.
6) I don't feel any emotional connection to the players. How am I supposed to feel any emotional connection to these faceless Chinese players? They all look the same, for Chrissakes. What happened to God-fearing, Liberty-loving Americans like ppd who's twitter literally makes me cry with emotion? (https://twitter.com/ppdDota). Or Universe, who I barely know since he has a grand total of three interviews under his belt? Or Mason, who's xenophobia in-game rivals my own closeted mistrust for other ethnicities? Or the stone-faced zai? Or Arteezy, the honorary American? These Chinese players are mechanical and emotionless, nevermind the fact that I've never bothered to learn anything about them.
7) A team that is not from the U.S. won. (Na'Vi are an exception, because they are white) This is by far the biggest reason why this year's International sucks. First of all, it's well known that the U.S. wins everything. it should have won this competition too. We win the Olympics. We win at Baseball. We win at Basketball. We win at soccer. We won in Vietnam and Iraq. We DESERVE to win this. It is our God given RIGHT to win. How dare the Chinese take this win from us.