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Active: 1597 users

Why your mom will not win GSTL

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Leviance
Profile Joined November 2009
Germany4079 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-01-26 23:25:29
January 26 2012 22:54 GMT
#1
Because teams are only allowed to have 20 players.

Because she fills up 200/200 instantly.

Because she doesn't fit in the booth.

Because she can't push only one mouse button at a time.

Because she can't push less then 20 keys on the keyboard at once.

Because people who look like the Overmind are considered blasphemists.

Because a 4th race is not allowed.

Because she is not what Gom.tv meant by "Global" League.

Because she always takes extra damage vs. massive.

Because she doesn't need to research centrifugal hooks to start rolling.

Because there is no cross-server play yet.

Tell me other reasons!

So many good ones already from the replies:

Because devourers are no longer part of the game.

Because she can't unburrow.

Because she would never be able to lift off as terran.

Because she is a girl.

Because it's against the rules to have a queen at the start of the game.

Because she can't fit inside a vortex.

Because when you try to move her, she says: "Not enough energy"

Because a land unit accidentally tripping and crushing all units on a map is an exploit and will be patched once enough people complain to Blizzard. Unless they too get crushed.

Because GSTL doesn't have its wide angle lens ... or its satellites.

Because she can't afford two plane tickets to Korea.

Because of Rocks Everywhere!

Because destructible rocks would have no effect.

Because she can't be recalled.

Because the only map she fits on got removed this season (Tal'darim altar)

Because Godzilla isn't allowed outside of Japan.

Because moms make sandwiches, they do not play starcraft

Because she takes extra damage from Void Rays.

Because the mothership is supposed to float not drag across the floor

Because she's blonde.

Because no stalkers will want to deal with her!

Because she is imbalanced.

Because the nydus worm isn't long enough to fit her in.

Well, she still has better chances than zenex.

I hope a little fun thread is tolerated among all the serious ones....and it encourages creativity...
"Blizzard is never gonna nerf Terran because of those American and European fuck" - Korean Netizen
ShangMing
Profile Joined December 2010
Canada106 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-01-26 22:57:15
January 26 2012 22:56 GMT
#2
Noob, do you even play Starcraft?

200/200 instarape.
Leviance
Profile Joined November 2009
Germany4079 Posts
January 26 2012 22:57 GMT
#3
On January 27 2012 07:56 ShangMing wrote:
Noob, do you even play Starcraft?

200/200 instarape.


200/200 of worthless supply
"Blizzard is never gonna nerf Terran because of those American and European fuck" - Korean Netizen
TheButtonmen
Profile Joined December 2010
Canada1403 Posts
January 26 2012 22:57 GMT
#4
On January 27 2012 07:57 Leviance wrote:
Show nested quote +
On January 27 2012 07:56 ShangMing wrote:
Noob, do you even play Starcraft?

200/200 instarape.


200/200 of worthless supply


His mom is a roach?
Choboo
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
Sweden2088 Posts
January 26 2012 22:58 GMT
#5
10/10 would read again XD so le funny
SaSe fan club manager
Slardar
Profile Joined April 2010
Canada7593 Posts
January 26 2012 22:58 GMT
#6
Lol not bad. 8 out of 10 stars, decent effort, too many overweight jokes .
Paljas
Profile Joined October 2011
Germany6926 Posts
January 26 2012 22:58 GMT
#7
well, she still has better chances than zenex.
TL+ Member
Mystogun
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
United States392 Posts
January 26 2012 22:58 GMT
#8
I feel like if you had 200/200 supply INSTANTLY, you would just 1a in the beginning of the game and win?
"What I'm sayin' is that there are known knowns and there are known unknowns, but there's also unknown unknowns, things that we don't know we don't know." | SC2: NoiSe.730 | LoL: Galladiator
seaofsaturn
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
United States489 Posts
January 26 2012 22:58 GMT
#9
How about... she can't fit in the game because she takes up more than 200 supply.
Photoshop is over-powered.
Jacob666
Profile Joined January 2011
United States285 Posts
January 26 2012 22:58 GMT
#10
must... resist.... posting.... about.... overweight.... players..................
Acronysis
Profile Joined November 2011
872 Posts
January 26 2012 22:59 GMT
#11
On January 27 2012 07:57 TheButtonmen wrote:
Show nested quote +
On January 27 2012 07:57 Leviance wrote:
On January 27 2012 07:56 ShangMing wrote:
Noob, do you even play Starcraft?

200/200 instarape.


200/200 of worthless supply


His mom is a roach?


XD love it. haha
The multiplying villanies of man do swarm upon him.
nazR
Profile Joined May 2011
France158 Posts
January 26 2012 23:00 GMT
#12
On January 27 2012 07:58 [NoiSe] wrote:
I feel like if you had 200/200 supply INSTANTLY, you would just 1a in the beginning of the game and win?


Yeah but the way i understand it, it is that the players fills the 200/200 supply et not the units (YO MOMMA'S SO FAT...)
Cinim
Profile Joined April 2011
Denmark866 Posts
January 26 2012 23:00 GMT
#13
I guess this is a lame attempt to say how lame all these ''why XX team will win'' threads. 5/5 for the message, -5 for the effort lol
Hell, it's about time
GDeci
Profile Joined August 2011
Canada13 Posts
January 26 2012 23:00 GMT
#14
Because she would never be able to lift off as terran
Failure is always an option
Arterial
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
Australia1039 Posts
January 26 2012 23:00 GMT
#15
Because she can't fit inside a Mothership's Vortex.
savior & jaedong
GDeci
Profile Joined August 2011
Canada13 Posts
January 26 2012 23:01 GMT
#16
Because it's against the rules to have a queen at the start of the game
Failure is always an option
Chronopolis
Profile Joined April 2009
Canada1484 Posts
January 26 2012 23:01 GMT
#17
Because she can't unburrow.
pAnJayK
Profile Joined August 2010
Switzerland56 Posts
January 26 2012 23:02 GMT
#18
haha well played sir!
Nabes
Profile Joined November 2010
Canada1800 Posts
January 26 2012 23:02 GMT
#19
i found this thread more interesting than the actual team ones
Leviance
Profile Joined November 2009
Germany4079 Posts
January 26 2012 23:02 GMT
#20
On January 27 2012 08:00 Cinim wrote:
I guess this is a lame attempt to say how lame all these ''why XX team will win'' threads. 5/5 for the message, -5 for the effort lol


so 0/5? I waited until I made up more than 10 before posting...

On January 27 2012 07:58 Paljas wrote:
well, she still has better chances than zenex.


hahahaaa
"Blizzard is never gonna nerf Terran because of those American and European fuck" - Korean Netizen
Knutzi
Profile Joined July 2009
Norway664 Posts
January 26 2012 23:02 GMT
#21
because she is a girl
GDeci
Profile Joined August 2011
Canada13 Posts
January 26 2012 23:03 GMT
#22
Because devourers are no longer part of the game
Failure is always an option
Vod.kaholic
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
United States1052 Posts
January 26 2012 23:04 GMT
#23
Because she'd sink the boats and airplanes that try to bring her over.
._. \: |: /: .-. :\ :| :/ ._. They see me rolling...
Sorter
Profile Joined July 2011
170 Posts
January 26 2012 23:05 GMT
#24
What do you expect to accomplish with this thread?
LuxVenture
Profile Joined August 2011
United States72 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-01-26 23:07:01
January 26 2012 23:06 GMT
#25
Because a land unit accidentally tripping and crushing all units on a map is an exploit and will be patched once enough people complain to Blizzard. Unless they too get crushed.
Zvenn3n
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
Sweden1196 Posts
January 26 2012 23:06 GMT
#26
Because when you try to move her, she says: "Not enough energy"
Choboo
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
Sweden2088 Posts
January 26 2012 23:06 GMT
#27
because she is fat
SaSe fan club manager
H2OSno
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
United States127 Posts
January 26 2012 23:06 GMT
#28
Because GSTL doesn't have its wide angle lens.




Or its satellites
When in doubt, scout.
Gladiator6
Profile Joined June 2010
Sweden7024 Posts
January 26 2012 23:06 GMT
#29
Earlier today you made a excellent thread, this is far from excellent. :/
Flying, sOs, free, Light, Soulkey & ZerO
Vod.kaholic
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
United States1052 Posts
January 26 2012 23:07 GMT
#30
On January 27 2012 08:06 eYeball wrote:
Earlier today you made a excellent thread, this is far from excellent. :/


Are you kidding me, this is one of the best threads in general in a long time -_-
._. \: |: /: .-. :\ :| :/ ._. They see me rolling...
magnaflow
Profile Joined August 2011
Canada1521 Posts
January 26 2012 23:07 GMT
#31
She's to busy "buttering her biscuits"

She can't afford two plane tickets to Korea
amazingxkcd
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
GRAND OLD AMERICA16375 Posts
January 26 2012 23:07 GMT
#32
Because of Rocks Everywhere!
The world is burning and you rather be on this terrible website discussing video games and your shallow feelings
DisaFear
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
Australia4074 Posts
January 26 2012 23:07 GMT
#33
Haha, I woke up to this, nicely done
How devious | http://anartisticanswer.blogspot.com.au/
Leviance
Profile Joined November 2009
Germany4079 Posts
January 26 2012 23:08 GMT
#34
On January 27 2012 08:06 eYeball wrote:
Earlier today you made a excellent thread, this is far from excellent. :/


But this one gets 1000x more replies....
"Blizzard is never gonna nerf Terran because of those American and European fuck" - Korean Netizen
Acrofales
Profile Joined August 2010
Spain18109 Posts
January 26 2012 23:08 GMT
#35
Yo mommaship so fat...
quirinus
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
Croatia2489 Posts
January 26 2012 23:09 GMT
#36
Because she's too fat to be recalled.

This might be closed soon?
All candles lit within him, and there was purity. | First auto-promoted BW LP editor.
mki
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
Poland882 Posts
January 26 2012 23:10 GMT
#37
Hahaha nice I really hope you don't get warned or banned This is way better
Head of New Business at Team Kinguin :: https://www.teamkinguin.com
hootsushi
Profile Joined August 2010
Germany3468 Posts
January 26 2012 23:10 GMT
#38
On January 27 2012 07:58 Paljas wrote:
well, she still has better chances than zenex.


best reply in a long time
SnipedSoul
Profile Joined November 2010
Canada2158 Posts
January 26 2012 23:11 GMT
#39
Because Godzilla isn't allowed outside of Japan.
Choboo
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
Sweden2088 Posts
January 26 2012 23:11 GMT
#40
Because the only map she fits on got removed this season (Tal'darim altar)
SaSe fan club manager
hnQ
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
113 Posts
January 26 2012 23:15 GMT
#41
Because then destructible rocks would have no effect.
stokes17
Profile Joined January 2011
United States1411 Posts
January 26 2012 23:17 GMT
#42
nicely done lololol
D_K_night
Profile Joined April 2010
Canada615 Posts
January 26 2012 23:19 GMT
#43
I'm actually very surprised that not one person came up with a nydus worm joke...
Canada
meadbert
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
United States681 Posts
January 26 2012 23:19 GMT
#44
Because she takes extra damage from Void Rays.
magnaflow
Profile Joined August 2011
Canada1521 Posts
January 26 2012 23:19 GMT
#45
Moms make sandwiches, they do not play starcraft
Deathmanbob
Profile Joined December 2010
United States2356 Posts
January 26 2012 23:20 GMT
#46
Because the mothership is supposed to float not drag across the floor
No Artosis, you are robin
TheTurk
Profile Joined January 2011
United States732 Posts
January 26 2012 23:20 GMT
#47
Hahah, so good.
8/10
Starcraft is a lifestyle.
JohnMatrix
Profile Joined April 2011
France1358 Posts
January 26 2012 23:21 GMT
#48
Because she's blonde ?
CreationSoul
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
Romania231 Posts
January 26 2012 23:23 GMT
#49
because no stalkers will want to deal with her!
Quitting is the easy way out...
TelecoM
Profile Blog Joined January 2010
United States10682 Posts
January 26 2012 23:23 GMT
#50
On January 27 2012 08:19 D_K_night wrote:
I'm actually very surprised that not one person came up with a nydus worm joke...


Because the nydus worm isn't long enough to fit her in. xD . I tried but I don't really like this thread. :O
AKA: TelecoM[WHITE] Protoss fighting
papyrus
Profile Joined August 2010
Philippines716 Posts
January 26 2012 23:23 GMT
#51
Because she is imbalanced
darkscream
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
Canada2310 Posts
January 26 2012 23:24 GMT
#52
On January 27 2012 08:23 papyrus wrote:
Because she is imbalanced


well played
TheKefka
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
Croatia11752 Posts
January 26 2012 23:25 GMT
#53
What the hell is going on here,
Cackle™
dronescout
Profile Joined March 2010
Iceland246 Posts
January 26 2012 23:28 GMT
#54
Because she gets lifted off and killed by an hallucinated phoenix
I will destroy everyone in 2017
Deathmanbob
Profile Joined December 2010
United States2356 Posts
January 26 2012 23:28 GMT
#55
Because she got supply blocked in the buffet line
No Artosis, you are robin
Deathmanbob
Profile Joined December 2010
United States2356 Posts
January 26 2012 23:29 GMT
#56
Because the thor was supposed to be the biggest ground unit in the game
No Artosis, you are robin
Ryps
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Romania2740 Posts
January 26 2012 23:30 GMT
#57
Because when HotS came, carrier couldnt arrive !
ilikeredheads
Profile Joined August 2011
Canada1995 Posts
January 26 2012 23:33 GMT
#58
Because BM would mean more than just bad manner.
ArtThouAngry
Profile Joined December 2011
Canada146 Posts
January 26 2012 23:36 GMT
#59
Because Jabba the Hut don't play starcraft
IdrA, GoOdy, Axslav FIGHTING!!!!!!!
Seeker *
Profile Blog Joined April 2005
Where dat snitch at?37043 Posts
January 26 2012 23:40 GMT
#60
What is dis -__-;;?
ModeratorPeople ask me, "Seeker, what are you seeking?" My answer? "Sleep, damn it! Always sleep!"
TL+ Member
snively
Profile Blog Joined August 2011
United States1159 Posts
January 26 2012 23:41 GMT
#61
Because she... uh...
im bad at making jokes TT_TT

great thread, though
LOL
My religion is Starcraft
MichaelDonovan
Profile Joined June 2011
United States1453 Posts
January 26 2012 23:50 GMT
#62
Because she smells like Fartosis.
Because it's impossible to deny her natural expansion.
Because she can walk through forcefields.
ArtThouAngry
Profile Joined December 2011
Canada146 Posts
January 26 2012 23:50 GMT
#63
Because a desk, computer and chair need to fit in the booth
IdrA, GoOdy, Axslav FIGHTING!!!!!!!
BisuDagger
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
Bisutopia19297 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-01-26 23:58:44
January 26 2012 23:57 GMT
#64
Because she is stuck in siege mode.

Because she's too big to warp in.

Because she's not terran.

Because she's Dustin Browders X-Wife.

Because when she walks into the room, someone always says "Thor is here".

Because when she walks into the room, someone always says "Carrier has arrived".

Because SC2 doesn't have infested terrans.

Because 6 pool doesn't mean the capacity to hold someone the size of 6 people.

Because Naniwa only told his mom about the secret probe rush strategy.

Because she flew an online girl that she fell in love with to the GSL head quarters and her head phones were stolen.

Because she couldn't fake double (<--more of a bw thing here)

edit: spelling mistakes
ModeratorFormer Afreeca Starleague Caster: http://afreeca.tv/ASL2ENG2
Lumire
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
United States607 Posts
January 27 2012 00:00 GMT
#65
This is the dumbest thing ive seen in my entire life.
why is this on TL
|| o.o
Chunhyang
Profile Joined December 2011
Bangladesh1389 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-01-27 00:17:14
January 27 2012 00:03 GMT
#66
On January 27 2012 09:00 Lumire wrote:
This is the dumbest thing ive seen in my entire life.
why is this on TL


You're looking at a mirror. ZING

Coz she's fat.

Coz she is Aiur.
If you could reason with haters, there would be no haters. YGTMYFT
Taktik
Profile Joined January 2011
Poland680 Posts
January 27 2012 00:05 GMT
#67

Because she always takes extra damage vs. massive.


lol'ed so hard
MichaelDonovan
Profile Joined June 2011
United States1453 Posts
January 27 2012 00:19 GMT
#68
On January 27 2012 08:57 BisuDagger wrote:
Because she is stuck in siege mode.

Because she's too big to warp in.

Because she's not terran.

Because she's Dustin Browders X-Wife.

Because when she walks into the room, someone always says "Thor is here".

Because when she walks into the room, someone always says "Carrier has arrived".

Because SC2 doesn't have infested terrans.

Because 6 pool doesn't mean the capacity to hold someone the size of 6 people.

Because Naniwa only told his mom about the secret probe rush strategy.

Because she flew an online girl that she fell in love with to the GSL head quarters and her head phones were stolen.

Because she couldn't fake double (<--more of a bw thing here)

edit: spelling mistakes


SC2 does have infested terrans. O_o
liberal
Profile Joined November 2011
1116 Posts
January 27 2012 00:22 GMT
#69
Because her hand-eye coordination is bad!

Am I doing this right?
LlamaNamedOsama
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
United States1900 Posts
January 27 2012 00:24 GMT
#70
I lol'd, xD

Also:
Because she's too wide to walk down a ramp.
Dario Wünsch: I guess...Creator...met his maker *sunglasses*
Eufouria
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
United Kingdom4425 Posts
January 27 2012 00:27 GMT
#71
Because Ultralisks never win games.
CeriseCherries
Profile Blog Joined May 2011
6170 Posts
January 27 2012 00:30 GMT
#72
Because she doesn't play protoss

On January 27 2012 09:22 liberal wrote:
Because her hand-eye coordination is bad!

Am I doing this right?


Almost. I think you meant her marked lack of ability to micromanage her units or to continually macro well, coupled with poor mechanics and a general lack of knowledge about timings or build orders.



Remember, no matter where you go, there you are.
FlaShFTW
Profile Blog Joined February 2010
United States10231 Posts
January 27 2012 00:30 GMT
#73
this is just like that erock14 kid that rise completely owned ^.^ just to steal a few...

because a siege tank cannot hit her

because fog of war will not hide her
Writer#1 KT and FlaSh Fanboy || Woo Jung Ho Never Forget || Teamliquid Political Decision Desk
TL+ Member
goal 888
Profile Joined April 2011
167 Posts
January 27 2012 00:39 GMT
#74
Very clever lol 9 out of 10
Harem
Profile Joined November 2007
United States11393 Posts
January 27 2012 00:48 GMT
#75
because she makes bad and unfunny threads where people just keep listing stuff
Moderator。◕‿◕。
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