GESA Brood War Announcement

"Unfortunately 350 million GBP is now worth roughly 35 euros but this should be enough to buy you a train ticket to Paris, so you will be able to get part of the way home again if you travelled from europe. Over the next 12 months I foresee a rise in local politics across the United Kingdom. Fostered correctly, local action groups will be able to exert more control over their own districts. Finally able to regulate our own oil prices, we will see local trading syndicates rise in power. With local street level groups able to take back control of fuel prices, they are enabled to have autonomy and be the makers of their own destiny. The groups with the largest and fastest vehicles will have advantages over other smaller weaker groups.

Free from the restrictions of europe, an increase in neon coloured mohican hairstyles will become popular. We will be liberated from the burden of clothing standards and variety, and will witness new fashion trends such as spiky leather clothing and gasmasks. There will be huge opportunities for individuals to show their personality by branding themselves for example with chrome spray paint on the mouth and teeth.
As these local action groups assert dominance on regional politics, we shall see that the only way to survive is to join these gangs and build V8 monster trucks. The countryside will gradually become a desert wasteland, and the gang your children are born into will be slaves of this petrolpunk cult. The leader calls himself 'NiFa'.

NiFa forces you and 500 other slaves to build a giant scrap metal wall across Somerset that cuts off the south west region of england from the mainland (an event that becomes known as Swexit).



The leader of your petrolpunk cult crowns himself king of this new dominion, supreme king NiFa. He will need a new name for his land. It is an alliance of formerly Cornwall and Devon, so amalgamating the two names we get 'Con'.
The dominion of Con grows powerful, indeed it is the greatest Con that europe has ever seen.

Over time what was previously known as the united kingdom becomes a distant memory. Society on the other side of the great wall degrades sharply, with living conditions becoming even worse than in NiFa's territory. It is certainly no longer a "United Kingdom" and therefore the area on the other side of the wall gets its name shortened to just "kingdom".

As the other gangs on the mainland of 'kingdom' battle and descend further into barbarism, we realise that there is no king ruling the area of mainland england at all, and the name gets shortened for a second time to just 'dom'.

Meanwhile in the southwest, supreme king NiFa bides his time. He orders his minions to capture wild badgers and establishes badger farms to feed his empire. He also sets up bullet factories where the slave children hand carve small rocks into spherical musket balls to supply the guns of his horde army. Eventually NiFa opens the great gates of Con, and unleashes his horde upon the hopeless barbaric mainland of Dom.

A year later, the mainland has been subdued. Supreme King NiFA has captured all of formerly mainland england. He rebuilds Hadrians wall (and its paid for by the Scots). The glorious army of motorbikes and monster trucks returns to the sacred scrap yards for repairs. The dust settles. NiFa has finally achieved his dreams. He is the undisputed ruler of what was previously known as england. After initially securing Con as his base of operations in the south west, he now controls all of Dom as well.
NiFa is the king of the Con-Dom Dominion."

By the way I just want to say please dont read into this to try and work out my own personal political stand point. Towards the start of the post I try to be more even handed with careful word choices etc. As the post goes on and it descends further into chaos, it was simpler to select a side purely to make it easier for me to try and make jokes. The whole post is intended only for humorous effect, and choosing to mock the leave side more is simply because of the abundance of low hanging fruit. All I wanted was bendy bananas.

Ive just had quite a bad crash on my bike, so Im now typing with 1 hand. I was going to make some pictures and generally tidy up/improve this post but now Ive got less time (and Im in quite a lot of pain heh). I probably would have ended up deleting half of this nonsense if I had more time to proof read it etc, but instead Im afraid you will just have to put up with this incoherent bunch of semi ideas. There are several repetitions etc in there that are on purpose though just incase you are wondering.