I'd like to apologize to the Foreign BW community.

On December 12 2011 01:10 Jumperer wrote:
I couldn't sleep so I have to write this thread expressing my feelings and thoughts regarding the recent Super Clan League shellacking.

First of all, I'm very sorry for my terrible performance. Looking back, I shouldn't have played at all. I did not really practice for this tournament given how the game starts at 4 A.M. my time. In fact, I didn't even remember it was today.

So why did I played? Well, here is the story. I randomly logs on TL.net at 4 AM and saw that sayle was streaming the event. I saw a korean terran barely beating the hungarian zerg god sziky. The next map was on bloody ridge. Game/pholon was going to send koll however koll doesn't want to play bloody ridge. So I asked the team organizer if I could play and they gave me a go. My condition wasn't 100%. Hell, it was probably not even 80%. However, I'm not the type of person to back down from any challenges. PvT is by far my best matchup, I routinely destroy 1300+ T koreans on fish early game, mid game, late game, it doesn't matter.

I knew I wasn't feeling that well, but I just came straight off an epic gambit cup victory so my confidence was high. I intended to cheese the hell out of this terran by doing the build Stork did against Flash. I thought that as long as I could micro and hit 4d5d6d7d then I could win. How hard could it be? Dragoon is my second favorite unit and it's the unit that I control the best out of all the units in starcraft.

Unexpectedly, I was extremely nervous at the beginning of the game and all throughout. THIS DOESN'T HAPPEN. I spoke on a stage in front of 200 people before and I wasn't nervous. I played for the USA national team, no nerve. I played the ace match for gambit cup after my team came back from 0-3 down and I wasn't nervous.

But this game wasn't just for me. This game wasn't just for a team. This game wasn't just for the entire nation. It's bigger than that. Here I am representing the entire foreigner scene. Past, present, and future. I also took someone's spot, someone who probably practiced their ass off for this tournament. That adds to the pressure. I was selected to show the koreans what the non koreans are capable off. These games are bigger than the ISL finals because you are in a situation and in a game where it could possibly never happen again. To understand how big this series was. Well, there was no team, there was no race, there was no nationality. EVERYONE IS UNITED AS ONE AND EVERYONE WANTS YOU TO WIN. There was no zerg whining about storm. no sas player rooting against LRM player. This is the followship of the ring and we are here to destroys the damn ring.

Unfortunately, I didn't realize how big the game really is until it started. My condition was poor and my hands were shaking. I skipped pylons, I skipped probes, I skipped units. 3 of my goons freezed when I attacked. I had no multitask ability. My goons melt and I left the game.

I've never felt so angry at myself for playing so poorly. I let not only myself down, but EVERYONE. The team had great momentum from sziky's games and I sapped everything out of it. and for that, I'd like to apologize to everyone, especially bakuryu who didn't even get to play and sayle for having to cast the terrible game.

As a result, I'm taking 2 weeks break from SC. This defeat was painful for me personally and I'm going to need sometime to recover from it. once again I'm truly sorry for letting everyone down.