• Log InLog In
  • Register
Liquid`
Team Liquid Liquipedia
EDT 07:47
CEST 13:47
KST 20:47
  • Home
  • Forum
  • Calendar
  • Streams
  • Liquipedia
  • Features
  • Store
  • EPT
  • TL+
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Smash
  • Heroes
  • Counter-Strike
  • Overwatch
  • Liquibet
  • Fantasy StarCraft
  • TLPD
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Blogs
Forum Sidebar
Events/Features
News
Featured News
[ASL21] Ro24 Preview Pt2: News Flash9[ASL21] Ro24 Preview Pt1: New Chaos0Team Liquid Map Contest #22 - Presented by Monster Energy16ByuL: The Forgotten Master of ZvT30Behind the Blue - Team Liquid History Book20
Community News
Weekly Cups (March 23-29): herO takes triple6Aligulac acquired by REPLAYMAN.com/Stego Research8Weekly Cups (March 16-22): herO doubles, Cure surprises3Blizzard Classic Cup @ BlizzCon 2026 - $100k prize pool49Weekly Cups (March 9-15): herO, Clem, ByuN win4
StarCraft 2
General
What mix of new & old maps do you want in the next ladder pool? (SC2) Team Liquid Map Contest #22 - Presented by Monster Energy Aligulac acquired by REPLAYMAN.com/Stego Research Weekly Cups (March 23-29): herO takes triple herO wins SC2 All-Star Invitational
Tourneys
RSL Season 4 announced for March-April Sparkling Tuna Cup - Weekly Open Tournament StarCraft Evolution League (SC Evo Biweekly) WardiTV Mondays World University TeamLeague (500$+) | Signups Open
Strategy
Custom Maps
[M] (2) Frigid Storage Publishing has been re-enabled! [Feb 24th 2026]
External Content
Mutation # 519 Inner Power The PondCast: SC2 News & Results Mutation # 518 Radiation Zone Mutation # 517 Distant Threat
Brood War
General
Gypsy to Korea [ASL21] Ro24 Preview Pt2: News Flash ASL21 General Discussion How Can I Add Timer & APM Count? A cwal.gg Extension - Easily keep track of anyone
Tourneys
[ASL21] Ro24 Group F [ASL21] Ro24 Group E Azhi's Colosseum - Foreign KCM Escore Tournament StarCraft Season 2
Strategy
Fighting Spirit mining rates What's the deal with APM & what's its true value Simple Questions, Simple Answers
Other Games
General Games
Nintendo Switch Thread Stormgate/Frost Giant Megathread Starcraft Tabletop Miniature Game General RTS Discussion Thread Darkest Dungeon
Dota 2
The Story of Wings Gaming Official 'what is Dota anymore' discussion
League of Legends
G2 just beat GenG in First stand
Heroes of the Storm
Simple Questions, Simple Answers Heroes of the Storm 2.0
Hearthstone
Deck construction bug Heroes of StarCraft mini-set
TL Mafia
Mafia Game Mode Feedback/Ideas TL Mafia Community Thread Five o'clock TL Mafia
Community
General
NASA and the Private Sector Russo-Ukrainian War Thread US Politics Mega-thread Things Aren’t Peaceful in Palestine Canadian Politics Mega-thread
Fan Clubs
The IdrA Fan Club
Media & Entertainment
[Manga] One Piece Movie Discussion! [Req][Books] Good Fantasy/SciFi books
Sports
2024 - 2026 Football Thread Formula 1 Discussion Cricket [SPORT] Tokyo Olympics 2021 Thread General nutrition recommendations
World Cup 2022
Tech Support
[G] How to Block Livestream Ads
TL Community
The Automated Ban List
Blogs
Funny Nicknames
LUCKY_NOOB
Money Laundering In Video Ga…
TrAiDoS
Iranian anarchists: organize…
XenOsky
FS++
Kraekkling
Shocked by a laser…
Spydermine0240
ASL S21 English Commentary…
namkraft
Customize Sidebar...

Website Feedback

Closed Threads



Active: 1628 users

The Protoss Secret

Blogs > EsX_Raptor
Post a Reply
1 2 3 4 5 6 Next All
EsX_Raptor
Profile Blog Joined February 2008
United States2802 Posts
February 11 2009 00:27 GMT
#1
DAMN!

So my little brother just got into StarCraft and no more than a week ago he couldn't even beat computers! He struggled so bad and I tried to teach him some of the basics so that he understands the game and how to beat those computers with no problem.

So he took it by heart and started practicing, I saw him everyday there just sitting staring at the monitor non-strop trying to beat the PCs.

Not long ago he came up to me saying "Look! I beat the computer!!!" as he proceeded to taking me by the hand to the computer and loading a replay called FINALLYWIN.rep.

In the replay I saw that he started out very well actually, and as I looked somewhere else waiting for the game to unfold he had already a massive army, I mean, HUGE, and proceeded to taking out not one, but THREE (YES, DAMN RIGHT, THREE)computers out in like no time.

I literally sat there wondering W T F, as he simply smiled at me and went on to doing something else somewhere.

I checked replay and he had an amazing APM, I have no idea how the hell he managed to get so high (around 280-300) but in it was in fact; unbelievable, I thought that wasn't him until I checked the player name, and as it turns out, it was no more and no less than he himself.

I went to him and asked what he was doing to be this good??? He simply looked at me and said "I've been playing on iccup" so I log on to icc and see his name and check that he has C- 20-0 stats. My jaw drops to the floor.

This time I literally run up to him, pick him up by the shoulders, and scream in his apathetic little face "HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING THIS?" and while he chuckled, he said "it's a secret!"

I didn't break his ass because he went running with mommy in time and she would yell in my face and throw a frying pan at me if I lay a single finger on him, so I went to his room again. As I checked the replay and his latest games, I just couldn't believe it, is he a StarCraft prodigy or something?

And while I looked down on the floor, I saw a half open box, and because of curiosity, decided to open it up as I've never seen it there before. And when I opened it, my mind suddenly became clear, I understood everything in an instant and got so enraged because of its simplicity and perfect logic that I just took the bow and threw it out the breaking window while screaming at the top of my lungs "W T F!!!!!!!???????"

But I mean, it is true, what he had in that box is indeed the great Protoss Secret, and I will not mind sharing it with you tonight my brothers. Here it is:

+ Show Spoiler +
[image loading]
so simple yet so true...


*
Plexa
Profile Blog Joined October 2005
Aotearoa39261 Posts
February 11 2009 00:31 GMT
#2
to quote your sig
"epic fail"
Administrator~ Spirit will set you free ~
Caller
Profile Blog Joined September 2007
Poland8075 Posts
February 11 2009 00:32 GMT
#3
I don't get how this makes him good at macro

also wtf g
Watch me fail at Paradox: http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=397564
AcrossFiveJulys
Profile Blog Joined September 2005
United States3612 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-02-11 00:33:18
February 11 2009 00:32 GMT
#4
i feel you man, i could play protoss with my DICK

... and that was the worst 1000th post ever
shavingcream66
Profile Blog Joined February 2008
United States1219 Posts
February 11 2009 00:33 GMT
#5
oh wow..i totally did not see that coming. I mean, 1a2a3a jokes are pretty original
Ra.Xor.2
Profile Blog Joined May 2008
United States1784 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-02-11 00:36:41
February 11 2009 00:35 GMT
#6
... U were that guy who made the thread about wet dicks too right...
#1 Flash Fan
b3h47pte
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
United States1317 Posts
February 11 2009 00:35 GMT
#7
wtf is the g for? gg? O.o
chaoser
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
United States5541 Posts
February 11 2009 00:35 GMT
#8
On February 11 2009 09:32 Caller wrote:
I don't get how this makes him good at macro

also wtf g


probably for the gg
Haven't you heard? I'm not an ex-progamer. I'm not a poker player. I'm not an admin of the site. I'm mother fucking Rekrul.
koreasilver
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
9109 Posts
February 11 2009 00:37 GMT
#9
Worst thread I've ever had the displeasure of clicking in my entire TL.net experience.
Fontong
Profile Blog Joined December 2007
United States6454 Posts
February 11 2009 00:37 GMT
#10
On February 11 2009 09:35 Ra.Xor.2 wrote:
... U were that guy who made the thread about wet dicks too right...

yeah but that one was funny
[SECRET FONT] "Dragoon bunker"
Heyoka
Profile Blog Joined March 2008
Katowice25012 Posts
February 11 2009 00:38 GMT
#11
need a d key to make an army, bro
@RealHeyoka | ESL / DreamHack StarCraft Lead
micronesia
Profile Blog Joined July 2006
United States24767 Posts
February 11 2009 00:38 GMT
#12
On February 11 2009 09:31 Plexa wrote:
to quote your sig
"epic fail"

First negative post I've ever seen Plexa make hahaha.

You should have made the story slightly more plausible prior to the joke...
ModeratorThere are animal crackers for people and there are people crackers for animals.
deathgod6
Profile Blog Joined January 2008
United States5064 Posts
February 11 2009 00:41 GMT
#13
Wow, just alt+qq. Oh wait, you can't because you removed them. I also see that your brother is so good he only needs 3 hotkeys and no F-hotkeys. He also manually clicks icon to build except arbiters and gateways. Show this to Tasteless and tell him to add your segment on his keyboard guide.
4.0 GPA = A rank 5.0 GPA = Olympic --------- Bisu, Best, Fantasy. i ♥ oov. They can get in my BoxeR anyday.
s.a.y
Profile Blog Joined October 2007
Croatia3840 Posts
February 11 2009 00:41 GMT
#14
G for gateways?

wheres Z for zealots?
I am not good with quotes
Osmoses
Profile Blog Joined October 2008
Sweden5302 Posts
February 11 2009 00:42 GMT
#15
Just typing 1a2a3a was getting old so he resorted to visual stimulation. This is not trolling, this is artistry.
Excuse me hun, but what is your name? Vivian? I woke up next to you naked and, uh, did we, um?
Jonoman92
Profile Blog Joined September 2006
United States9107 Posts
February 11 2009 00:46 GMT
#16
Lool epic build-up...
daz
Profile Blog Joined May 2008
Canada643 Posts
February 11 2009 00:48 GMT
#17
this was funny











in 2007. 1/5
Some eat to remember, some smash to forget. 2009msl.com
3clipse
Profile Blog Joined September 2008
Canada2555 Posts
February 11 2009 00:49 GMT
#18
Whoa, clever punchline bro.
Ingenol
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
United States1328 Posts
February 11 2009 00:54 GMT
#19
On February 11 2009 09:37 Fontong wrote:
Show nested quote +
On February 11 2009 09:35 Ra.Xor.2 wrote:
... U were that guy who made the thread about wet dicks too right...

yeah but that one was funny

Unintentionally so.
Tensai176
Profile Blog Joined March 2007
Canada2061 Posts
February 11 2009 00:54 GMT
#20
I thought this was supposed to be a secret?

o_O
We see things they'll never see
1 2 3 4 5 6 Next All
Please log in or register to reply.
Live Events Refresh
Next event in 7h 13m
[ Submit Event ]
Live Streams
Refresh
StarCraft 2
Lowko257
SortOf 198
Rex 77
trigger 74
BRAT_OK 69
Creator 25
MindelVK 11
StarCraft: Brood War
Britney 32779
Horang2 1163
Bisu 742
Shuttle 603
Mini 334
Last 194
BeSt 185
Rush 136
Soma 111
Soulkey 93
[ Show more ]
ggaemo 78
Dewaltoss 78
Mind 72
sSak 55
sorry 32
[sc1f]eonzerg 18
Movie 18
Noble 15
GoRush 14
IntoTheRainbow 12
Bale 11
ajuk12(nOOB) 11
Shinee 11
Shine 9
Dota 2
Gorgc3704
XaKoH 668
League of Legends
JimRising 343
Counter-Strike
fl0m1633
zeus578
Other Games
gofns11595
B2W.Neo1297
ProTech111
Sick93
Mew2King84
QueenE27
Organizations
Counter-Strike
PGL7935
Other Games
BasetradeTV186
StarCraft 2
Blizzard YouTube
StarCraft: Brood War
BSLTrovo
sctven
[ Show 15 non-featured ]
StarCraft 2
• StrangeGG 61
• CranKy Ducklings SOOP3
• AfreecaTV YouTube
• intothetv
• Kozan
• IndyKCrew
• LaughNgamezSOOP
• Migwel
• sooper7s
StarCraft: Brood War
• Michael_bg 5
• BSLYoutube
• STPLYoutube
• ZZZeroYoutube
League of Legends
• Jankos1755
• Stunt639
Upcoming Events
BSL
7h 13m
RSL Revival
19h 13m
Cure vs Rogue
Maru vs TBD
MaxPax vs TBD
uThermal 2v2 Circuit
1d 2h
BSL
1d 7h
Afreeca Starleague
1d 22h
Wardi Open
1d 22h
Replay Cast
2 days
Sparkling Tuna Cup
2 days
Kung Fu Cup
4 days
The PondCast
4 days
[ Show More ]
Replay Cast
5 days
Replay Cast
6 days
CranKy Ducklings
6 days
Liquipedia Results

Completed

Escore Tournament S2: W1
WardiTV Winter 2026
NationLESS Cup

Ongoing

BSL Season 22
CSL Elite League 2026
ASL Season 21
CSL Season 20: Qualifier 2
StarCraft2 Community Team League 2026 Spring
RSL Revival: Season 4
Nations Cup 2026
PGL Bucharest 2026
Stake Ranked Episode 1
BLAST Open Spring 2026
ESL Pro League S23 Finals
ESL Pro League S23 Stage 1&2
PGL Cluj-Napoca 2026
IEM Kraków 2026
BLAST Bounty Winter 2026

Upcoming

CSL 2026 SPRING (S20)
IPSL Spring 2026
Acropolis #4
BSL 22 Non-Korean Championship
CSLAN 4
Kung Fu Cup 2026 Grand Finals
HSC XXIX
uThermal 2v2 2026 Main Event
IEM Cologne Major 2026
Stake Ranked Episode 2
CS Asia Championships 2026
Asian Champions League 2026
IEM Atlanta 2026
PGL Astana 2026
BLAST Rivals Spring 2026
CCT Season 3 Global Finals
IEM Rio 2026
TLPD

1. ByuN
2. TY
3. Dark
4. Solar
5. Stats
6. Nerchio
7. sOs
8. soO
9. INnoVation
10. Elazer
1. Rain
2. Flash
3. EffOrt
4. Last
5. Bisu
6. Soulkey
7. Mini
8. Sharp
Sidebar Settings...

Advertising | Privacy Policy | Terms Of Use | Contact Us

Original banner artwork: Jim Warren
The contents of this webpage are copyright © 2026 TLnet. All Rights Reserved.