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So today was talking to friends in china over QQ, people from my elementary school.
Got me to think of this girl I liked in 5th grade but never went around to tell her, when I left my hometown for BeiJing in 6th grade I never seen her again. I kept trying to imagine if I have some kind of tracking devise, like a GPS that plots her location, I'd go seek her out, but no such devise I came across. I kept imagine, when I go to new places, tourist places, that I would see her, and I always imagine she's on a car or in train or something aweful fast and I'd chase it and shout "HAI HAI Do you Remember me?!" and we could all sit down and talk about our feelings.
Awhile ago I was invited to this QQ group, much like msn group, of my old elementary school. I hoped to find her but my friend told me she left the group awhile ago, and I was fairly dissapointed. I searched her name on baidu(chinese' equivalent of google), and found a giant name listing under
"何氏姓名册[四川音乐学院论坛]"
I went in it's basically a name log for all the people that goes to this school. I got the administrator's email and emailed him/her asking if I could be put into contact with her, but the email long expired.
I searched again today in vain, but the name log forum website was down.
I remember why I liked her, she was bit bouncy herself, fairly energetic but also peaceful, non-excerting and kept low profile even if her grades are so much better than ours. I dunno if she's still the same, but I had no additional memory of her other than the good ones I kept, should be nice to see her again and see how time changed things. Maybe she's ugly fat angry girl, still, want to see how things turned out, have it settled, at least tell her that at one point I appreciated her, tell her what I couldn't back then, if just for a laugh.
Ah... cruel cruel world ~_~
update
I found her.
I'm going this Thursday, to see her in person for the first time in 12 years.
Flying to the city of Chicago, where I have never been
Adventuring in the city with a pretty girl
No expectations what so ever, just try try to have fun
Times past, people change
I found her two years ago I think
Chinese facebook, what good chance
From talking to her over email, on skype
I am not sure if I like her now
But
I must do what I could not
12 years ago, on the spot
When she walked past me, when we were alone
When my heart raced but silent like stone
When I didn't tell her what I wanted to say
When I hesitated and walked away
Telling myself that we're too young
Telling myself that it would be wrong
I will end that silence, and tell her
She's been the idol, I'd tell her
She has defined what I'd liked
In all whom I liked in my life
And she made me know too well
The pain of regret not to tell
That one should really try and fail
Than to hide and chew his nail
And to finally tell her that
She is the first and last girl
Whom I liked but did not show
That because of her I learned brave
Then, just have some fun
touring the city in the lack of sun
I heard the museums are quite good
Also plenty of tasty food
--evan
  
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With all of these "close but not quite" situations I guess it is a sign. It's just not meant to be. ^_^
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The world is fine, you're doing this to yourself.
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On May 16 2008 20:17 SnowFantasy wrote:
With all of these "close but not quite" situations I guess it is a sign. It's just not meant to be. ^_^
Haha I know :p I just want to settle things, not like I would bound for her love or anything.
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On May 16 2008 20:18 Doctorasul wrote:
The world is fine, you're doing this to yourself.
Truely romanian, Cruel world is more of a well... it's not to be taken that seriously.
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Spenguin
Australia3316 Posts
Hi I tracked you down just say I used poor my heart out to you behind your back during 5th Grade but I was to shy to say it to your face!
Sorry Mr. Bouncy
I guess you'll see her again but not yet.
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On May 16 2008 20:22 evanthebouncy! wrote:Show nested quote +On May 16 2008 20:18 Doctorasul wrote:
The world is fine, you're doing this to yourself. Truely romanian, Cruel world is more of a well... it's not to be taken that seriously.
"Cruel world" was not used in a genuine sarcastic, rather, you did show you feel some authentic regret and going all the way to 'cruel world' is clearly exaggerated, in the intent to be funny, but ITS NOT FUCKING SARCASM
Maybe he meant that the slightest (and real) nostalgic mood you've obtained is not necessary in the first place, and that you got your hopes high by yourself, only to be disappointed.
(Though I don't necessarily agree)
CUT THE ROMANIAN SHIT it makes you look like a mindless band-wagon jumper
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CA10829 Posts
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Spenguin
Australia3316 Posts
ROAR!
btw good luck evan.
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I hate when I troll threads with rants like that. But the jokes get on my nerves, horribly-
Especially this one (I hate my off-topic above), I can really relate to this particular feeling of nostalgia
gl evan
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United States24767 Posts
Only a few more people need to post blogs about how love makes them irrational before I'm the only one who hasn't been through this...
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United States22883 Posts
What does QQ mean to you? Usually it's like "crymor noob."
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QQ is a chat program similar to MSN/ICQ if thats what you're asking.
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qq is a car with the best crash rating,
its awesome
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On May 16 2008 21:12 minus_human wrote:
I hate when I troll threads with rants like that. But the jokes get on my nerves, horribly-
Especially this one (I hate my off-topic above), I can really relate to this particular feeling of nostalgia
gl evan
sorry sorry. I didn't meant to get people all worked up, it's more of an off handed remark.
Bah if you guys know me irl I sometimes make random remarks that make ppl go "wtf" but they know I'm harmless 
I think I didn't convey my message clearly in my original post. I was trying to express a sentiment that is:
Nothing huge, just some small thing on the back of my head
When prompted, like once every year or half a year, It makes me bit blue and makes me think of the old times.
It's a genuine emotion but I am by no means getting too overboard with it.
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bump 
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Wow.. you found her.. 4 years later lol! congrats!
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it'll be rainy over the weekend. should be exciting.
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Epic bump yesss!
You should make it sound serious bro. Like mega-serious. You might as well recite that poem to her. I did the exact thing a couple years ago (met a girl I haven't met for a couple years then confessed that I liked her) and she instantly friendzoned me. Well probably not instantly, but like two dates later she told me she has a boyfriend. FML
Hope you have better results than I did!
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Wow wtf EPIC bump. GOGO EVAN! Make some bouncy babies with her!
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EPT
