• Log InLog In
  • Register
Liquid`
Team Liquid Liquipedia
EDT 19:51
CEST 01:51
KST 08:51
  • Home
  • Forum
  • Calendar
  • Streams
  • Liquipedia
  • Features
  • Store
  • EPT
  • TL+
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Smash
  • Heroes
  • Counter-Strike
  • Overwatch
  • Liquibet
  • Fantasy StarCraft
  • TLPD
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Blogs
Forum Sidebar
Events/Features
News
Featured News
TL.net Map Contest #21: Voting3[ASL20] Ro4 Preview: Descent7Team TLMC #5: Winners Announced!3[ASL20] Ro8 Preview Pt2: Holding On9Maestros of the Game: Live Finals Preview (RO4)5
Community News
Weekly Cups (Oct 6-12): Four star herO65.0.15 Patch Balance Hotfix (2025-10-8)71Weekly Cups (Sept 29-Oct 5): MaxPax triples up3PartinG joins SteamerZone, returns to SC2 competition325.0.15 Balance Patch Notes (Live version)119
StarCraft 2
General
Ladder Impersonation (only maybe) 5.0.15 Patch Balance Hotfix (2025-10-8) The New Patch Killed Mech! TL.net Map Contest #21: Voting Weekly Cups (Oct 6-12): Four star herO
Tourneys
Master Swan Open (Global Bronze-Master 2) Tenacious Turtle Tussle WardiTV Mondays SC2's Safe House 2 - October 18 & 19 Sparkling Tuna Cup - Weekly Open Tournament
Strategy
Custom Maps
External Content
Mutation # 495 Rest In Peace Mutation # 494 Unstable Environment Mutation # 493 Quick Killers Mutation # 492 Get Out More
Brood War
General
[ASL20] Ro4 Preview: Descent BSL Season 21 BW caster Sayle ASL20 General Discussion BGH Auto Balance -> http://bghmmr.eu/
Tourneys
[ASL20] Semifinal B [ASL20] Semifinal A [Megathread] Daily Proleagues [ASL20] Ro8 Day 4
Strategy
Current Meta BW - ajfirecracker Strategy & Training Siegecraft - a new perspective TvZ Theorycraft - Improving on State of the Art
Other Games
General Games
Stormgate/Frost Giant Megathread Nintendo Switch Thread ZeroSpace Megathread Dawn of War IV Path of Exile
Dota 2
Official 'what is Dota anymore' discussion LiquidDota to reintegrate into TL.net
League of Legends
Heroes of the Storm
Simple Questions, Simple Answers Heroes of the Storm 2.0
Hearthstone
Deck construction bug Heroes of StarCraft mini-set
TL Mafia
SPIRED by.ASL Mafia {211640} TL Mafia Community Thread
Community
General
US Politics Mega-thread Things Aren’t Peaceful in Palestine Russo-Ukrainian War Thread Men's Fashion Thread Sex and weight loss
Fan Clubs
The herO Fan Club! The Happy Fan Club!
Media & Entertainment
Anime Discussion Thread [Manga] One Piece Movie Discussion!
Sports
2024 - 2026 Football Thread Formula 1 Discussion MLB/Baseball 2023 NBA General Discussion TeamLiquid Health and Fitness Initiative For 2023
World Cup 2022
Tech Support
SC2 Client Relocalization [Change SC2 Language] Linksys AE2500 USB WIFI keeps disconnecting Computer Build, Upgrade & Buying Resource Thread
TL Community
The Automated Ban List Recent Gifted Posts
Blogs
Inbreeding: Why Do We Do It…
Peanutsc
From Tilt to Ragequit:The Ps…
TrAiDoS
Customize Sidebar...

Website Feedback

Closed Threads



Active: 2212 users

i fucked ESPORTS

Blogs > Endymion
Post a Reply
1 2 3 4 5 8 9 10 Next All
Endymion
Profile Blog Joined November 2009
United States3701 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-01-13 19:44:38
January 11 2012 00:19 GMT
#1
The day approached, the day arrived; and after a few hours of some anxious waiting, I stood pensive against my apartment complex. My chauffeur was running late, as always, forcing me into desperate measures. I had been summoned to the Liquid Manor for a posting appraisal, which I was told R1ch, Hotbid, and Chill would all be mediating. I focused all of my nerves to control the shaking in my hands, but it wasn’t hotbid’s aviators that had me so antsy; it was the governess of the manor, miss ESPORTS, whom I had long awaited another meeting with. Finally, my phone vibrated, and upon its extraction from my pocket, I saw that my hopes had been answered tenfold: Ares[Effort] was on his way.

Not soon after I received his message, a yellow Ferrari pulled up to the curb, and the darkly tinted windows rolled down. “Come, you mustn’t be late for your meeting with the liquidian aristocracy,” was mutedly muttered from within the cabin.

“Fool,” I sagely responded,” I AM liquidian aristocracy.”

Defeated, Ares unlocked the passenger-side door, and I entered the vehicle. Immediately, my nose was filled with the scent and sensation of stale couscous, and Ares’ vivid outfit betrayed his east Indian heritage. I smiled, and commented “Looking to impress someone noob?”

Reserved, Ares looked towards the other end of the street, responding “Elly isn’t one to be trifled with Endymion.” With nothing left to be said, Ares pulled out and sped us towards the Liquid Manor. The hour was late, as it had long been established since Nazgul’s coup d'état that the eastern seaboard of North America was to live and bleed on KST rather than EST. The rain hit the windshield as we raced through the empty streets of New York, absently noted by Ares and myself, although it paled in comparison to the events forthcoming.

We soon arrived at the gates of the manor, sealed shut by reinforced steel and concrete. Ares reached into the pocket of his kurta, withdrawing his wallet. Opening it, I caught a glimpse of the contents held within: an ornate golden stamp in the shape of a hammer. He lowered his window, and held out the stamp to a sensor. The gates quickly swung open, and we entered the grounds.

As we drove up the windy road to the foreboading structure at the top of the hill, I noted the flocks of sheep grazing on the grounds. There were a few which were black, although they were mostly white. They congregated around signs labeled “Starcraft 2” and “General,” although the sign labeled “Broodwar” was depressingly devoid of any substantial number of the creatures. Ares abruptly stopped the car, although he was in no way surprised or phased. He reached back into the hold of the ferrari, and looked at me. “U gotta sk8,” he said, handing me a skateboard. I thanked him, and exited the car.

[image loading]
U gotta sk8


Ares turned around while I was forced to skate up to the door of the manor, although the now absence of rain allowed for a much more pleasant ride than I had expected. Ascending the steps to threshold, I saw a large green dinosaur statue to my left. “Hah, even Liquid can’t forget the memory of Dino.” I promptly struck the door, anxious to not keep my lady waiting.

Soon after my knock, the doors swung inward, and Chill stood before me, perplexed “What are you doing here, Endymion. Your post review is tomorrow, the Korean Prime Minister is here for our statements regarding Kespa 2.0’s regulation.” I could hardly understand him; he seemed in odd humor.

Acting surprised, I responded. “My mistake Chill, is there any way that I can wait inside while I call for another chauffeur? The weather looks dreadfully like rain.”

Annoyed, Chill obliged me and led me to the drawing room within the manor. “Make yourself at home, I’ll have a servant bring you some soju.” He then departed from the room.

Waiting for Chill to travel a sufficient distance as to where I wouldn’t be heard, I inspected the contents of the room. It was lavish, a traditional red and brown, reminiscent of the Victorian era. Everything seemed to center upon one jar on the central table, containing one large bumblebee, buzzing quite loudly. I followed Chill’s example while disregarding his directions, leaving the room in search of Elly.

After some close calls of being spotted by both Tyler and Ret, I finally found her room. I knocked softly, and a quiet voice from within beckoned me in. Entering the room, I saw her: the elephant of my dreams. She sat in lavish pink lingerie on a contrasting blue and white bedspread, with the liquidian signet embroidered on it. I walked over to her, and I began stroking her long trunk, which was soft yet firm at the same time. She cooed with delight, wrapping her tail around me. I was distracted by pictures upon the wall, however, which I remember to have been drawn and commissioned by Fake Steve some years back, although they were of notably less size than would normally be optimal for viewing. “The pictures, why are they so small?” I inquired to Elly, fixing my gaze upon her once more”

“XXIO thought that the large size was distracting, so he had us reduce it substantially for a cleaner look.”

“Oh, I’ve had some experience with that,” I responded, half sarcastic half truthful. Resuming my assault on her glorious ESPORTS body my hands found crevices that only the most daring of elephant connoisseurs could hope to conquer, spreading her ladyhood with my adept over 400 apm BW fingers. Suddenly, there was a knock at the door! It was Chill!!! I quickly hid underneath the bed, and Elly threw a bath robe on to conceal her state of stimulation.

I heard Chill’s voice from the hallway, stating “What was that ruckus?”

Elly angrily yelled “CHILL GET OUT,” shutting the door on him. I returned to the mattress, lying flat and firm, ready for my ample lover. She returned, and upon removing her robe she mounted me, providing ecstasy which not even Stephano’s fans know to exist.

We made love for about the amount of time a BW TvT would last, and as I was climaxing I shouted “ESPORTSSSSS!! I’M CUMMING!!”

[image loading]
an artist's (mr wiggles) rendition of the situation



****
Have you considered the MMO-Champion forum? You are just as irrational and delusional with the right portion of nostalgic populism. By the way: The old Brood War was absolutely unplayable
darkscream
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
Canada2310 Posts
January 11 2012 00:23 GMT
#2
why

rated 5, but why
HawaiianPig
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
Canada5155 Posts
January 11 2012 00:24 GMT
#3
oh my god
AdministratorNot actually Hawaiian.
Praetorial
Profile Blog Joined May 2011
United States4241 Posts
January 11 2012 00:25 GMT
#4
What is this

5/5
FOR GREAT JUSTICE! Bans for the ban gods!
Noam
Profile Joined September 2010
Israel2209 Posts
January 11 2012 00:27 GMT
#5
I am surprised how I was only very slightly disturbed by this.
Liquipedia
Grend
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
1600 Posts
January 11 2012 00:27 GMT
#6
What is this. So weird, but oddly tantalizing. (not really)
♞ Against the Wind - Bob Seger ♞
m3rciless
Profile Joined August 2009
United States1476 Posts
January 11 2012 00:29 GMT
#7
lol awesome. I can just imagine chill as a sort of butler figure for the TL empire.
White-Ra fighting!
bkrow
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
Australia8532 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-01-11 00:41:39
January 11 2012 00:29 GMT
#8
u just gotta skate bro

Maybe hit up some redtube to release the stress
In The Rear With The Gear .. *giggle* /////////// cobra-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA!!!!
flamewheel
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
FREEAGLELAND26781 Posts
January 11 2012 00:29 GMT
#9
All I read was "Xxio" and "cumming" and it was good enough for me.
Writerdamn, i was two days from retirement
Probulous
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
Australia3894 Posts
January 11 2012 00:29 GMT
#10
There is something wrong here. Poor Elly, she doesn't even look old enough to be doing that sort of thing.

PERVERT!
"Dude has some really interesting midgame switches that I wouldn't have expected. "I violated your house" into "HIHO THE DAIRY OH!" really threw me. You don't usually expect children's poetry harass as a follow up " - AmericanUmlaut
Warpath
Profile Joined April 2010
Canada1242 Posts
January 11 2012 00:30 GMT
#11
I walked into this by accident I'll just show myself out of this thread..
Lexpar
Profile Blog Joined March 2009
1813 Posts
January 11 2012 00:32 GMT
#12
Oh ew. Sounds like someone needs to get out more :0
Kazragore
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
United States369 Posts
January 11 2012 00:32 GMT
#13
I'm baffled. 5/5
Imagine if i had a REAL weapon
aphorism
Profile Joined February 2011
United States226 Posts
January 11 2012 00:32 GMT
#14
r u for rela?
Newbistic
Profile Blog Joined August 2006
China2912 Posts
January 11 2012 00:33 GMT
#15
Your elephantasies are nothing more but a figment of your imagination.
Logic is Overrated
FlyingToilet
Profile Joined August 2011
United States840 Posts
January 11 2012 00:35 GMT
#16
I cant tell if this is really messed up sarcasm or life....
http://justin.tv/flyingtoilet
FinestHour
Profile Joined August 2010
United States18466 Posts
January 11 2012 00:37 GMT
#17
This thread...yes it is worth it.
thug life.                                                       MVP/ex-
jpak
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
United States5045 Posts
January 11 2012 00:38 GMT
#18
To answer the title: Yes, yes, you DID fuck Esports.

I will most definitely have nightmares tonight...
CJ Entusman #50! #1 클템 fan TL!
Pokebunny
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
United States10654 Posts
January 11 2012 00:38 GMT
#19
...

Liked it until the end.

Rofl... what
Semipro Terran player | Pokebunny#1710 | twitter.com/Pokebunny | twitch.tv/Pokebunny | facebook.com/PokebunnySC
L_Master
Profile Blog Joined April 2009
United States8017 Posts
January 11 2012 00:40 GMT
#20
I don't really don't even know what I just read...but it was fairly awesome

5/5
EffOrt and Soulkey Hwaiting!
1 2 3 4 5 8 9 10 Next All
Please log in or register to reply.
Live Events Refresh
Next event in 9m
[ Submit Event ]
Live Streams
Refresh
StarCraft 2
PiGStarcraft583
SteadfastSC 133
Nathanias 50
CosmosSc2 35
ROOTCatZ 19
StarCraft: Brood War
Calm 1667
Artosis 678
Larva 443
Mini 214
Counter-Strike
fl0m598
Super Smash Bros
PPMD43
Other Games
summit1g5975
Grubby2889
Day[9].tv410
C9.Mang0253
Skadoodle243
Maynarde171
Pyrionflax96
Chillindude16
fpsfer 1
Organizations
Other Games
gamesdonequick710
BasetradeTV35
StarCraft 2
Blizzard YouTube
StarCraft: Brood War
BSLTrovo
sctven
[ Show 17 non-featured ]
StarCraft 2
• Hupsaiya 46
• davetesta36
• sooper7s
• Migwel
• AfreecaTV YouTube
• LaughNgamezSOOP
• intothetv
• IndyKCrew
• Kozan
StarCraft: Brood War
• STPLYoutube
• ZZZeroYoutube
• BSLYoutube
Dota 2
• WagamamaTV688
Other Games
• imaqtpie1518
• Scarra901
• Day9tv410
• Shiphtur338
Upcoming Events
PiGosaur Monday
9m
PiGStarcraft583
OSC
23h 9m
The PondCast
1d 10h
OSC
1d 12h
Wardi Open
2 days
CranKy Ducklings
3 days
Safe House 2
3 days
Sparkling Tuna Cup
4 days
Safe House 2
4 days
Liquipedia Results

Completed

Acropolis #4 - TS2
WardiTV TLMC #15
HCC Europe

Ongoing

BSL 21 Points
ASL Season 20
CSL 2025 AUTUMN (S18)
C-Race Season 1
IPSL Winter 2025-26
EC S1
CS Asia Championships 2025
ESL Pro League S22
StarSeries Fall 2025
FISSURE Playground #2
BLAST Open Fall 2025
BLAST Open Fall Qual
Esports World Cup 2025
BLAST Bounty Fall 2025
BLAST Bounty Fall Qual
IEM Cologne 2025

Upcoming

SC4ALL: Brood War
BSL Season 21
BSL 21 Team A
RSL Offline Finals
RSL Revival: Season 3
Stellar Fest
SC4ALL: StarCraft II
eXTREMESLAND 2025
ESL Impact League Season 8
SL Budapest Major 2025
BLAST Rivals Fall 2025
IEM Chengdu 2025
PGL Masters Bucharest 2025
Thunderpick World Champ.
TLPD

1. ByuN
2. TY
3. Dark
4. Solar
5. Stats
6. Nerchio
7. sOs
8. soO
9. INnoVation
10. Elazer
1. Rain
2. Flash
3. EffOrt
4. Last
5. Bisu
6. Soulkey
7. Mini
8. Sharp
Sidebar Settings...

Advertising | Privacy Policy | Terms Of Use | Contact Us

Original banner artwork: Jim Warren
The contents of this webpage are copyright © 2025 TLnet. All Rights Reserved.