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Active: 806 users

Rip Tindra[cat] =(

Blogs > Weson
Post a Reply
Weson
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
Iceland1032 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-09-30 01:12:02
September 29 2011 23:22 GMT
#1
Today is a very sad day...
For the past few days one of my two cats have been missing. It'd happened before so i was sure she would come back. But it turned out she wouldn't =/ I haven't felt this sad in a very long time...

[image loading]

I've had cats and a dog that passed away before and it sucks big time. This time it feels a little bit different.
In the past I've had cats and dogs that were very social, calm and were not afraid of getting attention.
Whenever they passed away i always felt that they lived a happy life. This cat though was very shy and afraid of everything and was constantly stressed. I tried everything to keep it calm but every time something/someone was around her she would freak out. This made it almost impossible to have her inside the house so she ended up spending 80% of her time outdoors.
The other cat i have is very social and loves being in the center of everything. Whenever she ate and he didn't get anything he would jump at her so she couldn't eat in peace, she constantly looked over her shoulder to see she was safe. This resulted in that i had to sit and keep her company every time she ate so i could make sure that he wouldn't jump at her.

I always wanted her to feel safe so she could relax and be happy. Whenever she slept i tried to not disturb her, whenever she was laying in my sofa i slowly approached her so she wouldn't freak out and in the past few months i felt that she improved a lot. She could come and jump up on my lap when i was sitting in front of the computer like a normal cat would. Me myself suffer from some sort of anxiety disorder and could see a lot of myself in her and by fixing her i felt that i could be fix myself. I thought that she finally after 6 years of stress would calm down and enjoy the relaxing life of a cat and i felt motivated to improve myself.

Then one day she didn't sit by the window when i woke up. I though that she would turn up after some hours but no. I went out and looked for her, screaming her name and putting out a bowl with her favorite food in hope that she would turn up. Then today i decided to ask around in the neighborhood. I knocked on doors and asked if anyone seen her and there were some saying that they've had a cat in their garden some time ago so i thought to myself ”sweet now i just have to find her”. Then i got to a house and a old lady opens the door. When i saw her face it was like she knew why i were and there and she gave me this sad face even before I've said anything. Then she said that she heard that someone she knew had hit a cat when they were driving the other day, they went out looking for it but couldn't find it and that it may had ran inside the forest nearby. My mind went blank i couldn't think.

I went back home and got a plastic bag and some rubber gloves, the only thing i had in my mind was that i had to find her so i could be sure she wasn't in any pain. I went to the location and couldn't find her by the road so i decided to go into the forest. I ended up searching for 4 hours and didn't find anything. I decided to return back home to eat, drink and then go back and continue the search.

When i got home i tried to eat something but it wasn't much. I filled up a water-bottle and ran back to search for her. Just when i entered the forest there were a man that shouted at me. I turned round and asked what he wanted. He said that he'd found a dead cat and described where he found it. I went to the location and there she were. It looked like nothing happened to her. Her position was like she was sleeping and at first i though that there may be a chance. I poked at her but nothing happened...

When i got home i dug a hole and placed her in it, filled it up and put some candles on top of it. I don't know why i did that because I'm not religious in any way, i just felt that it was the right thing to do.

Now i just feel empty. She just started to improve and was getting better and better. I was so happy to see her improve that i though that there might be a chance for me to get rid of my anxiety as well. Now she's gone. Her life was full of fear and pain and i cant say she lived a happy life and i feel guilty for it. I don't know what i should have done but i still feel that i could have done something...


I tried finding a photo of the cat but couldn't. I guess I was afraid that the flash would scare her, It's sad because i've had her for 6 years and i dont have a single photo to remember her :'(



****
"!@€#" - as some guy said
MurMiLLo
Profile Joined February 2011
United States260 Posts
September 29 2011 23:33 GMT
#2
Its always hard to lose a pet. I'm sorry for your loss
Ares[Effort] *
Profile Blog Joined February 2009
DEMACIA6550 Posts
September 29 2011 23:37 GMT
#3
Moderatorgold coin
NrG.NeverExpo
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
Canada2114 Posts
September 29 2011 23:42 GMT
#4
That's really sad, pets can leave such a hole in your life You are an amazing person for putting that much effort in.
TwitteR: @NeverExpo follow me, i'll follow back :)
hiREvel
Profile Joined June 2011
United States80 Posts
September 29 2011 23:43 GMT
#5
I've gone through almost the exact same thing with one of my cats earlier this year, its hard. All I can say is I hope everything gets better for you, and to stay strong. You obviously cared for the cat, it had someone there for it.
Drolla
Profile Joined September 2010
United Kingdom389 Posts
September 29 2011 23:44 GMT
#6
This made me really think about my cats, having heard a friend's rabbit was nearly killed yesterday and now reading this really makes me think I take my cats for granted. I should try and take more pictures of them.

Sorry for your loss.
leser
Profile Joined May 2010
Croatia239 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-09-30 00:00:15
September 29 2011 23:59 GMT
#7
losing pets sucks ass.

I have 3 dogs, one is 11.5 years old and she had a few difficult surgeries in the past 2 years. She is fine atm, but the prognosis isn't very good . I hope she'll love for a few more good old years. I always had dogs when I was a kid, but my family somehow shyed away from it when i was about 12-13 and I got a pup about 10 years later. As my dogs get older, I'm starting to see why we didn't have dogs for 10 years, dealing with a loss is so frustrating. I'm so incredibly annoyed by death, it's infuriating.
lulz
Grettin
Profile Joined April 2010
42381 Posts
September 30 2011 00:03 GMT
#8
My condolences.
"If I had force-fields in Brood War, I'd never lose." -Bisu
JIJIyO
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
Canada1957 Posts
September 30 2011 01:36 GMT
#9
Makes me sad =(

Good luck man, bye Tindra.
KT_Violet
Enki
Profile Blog Joined January 2007
United States2548 Posts
September 30 2011 01:51 GMT
#10
She was a very beautiful cat. Sorry for your loss op. I lost 2 cats myself last year and it's a terrible thing to go through
"Practice, practice, practice. And when you're not practicing you should be practicing. It's the only way to get better. The only way." I run the Smix Fanclub!
Asrathiel
Profile Blog Joined June 2011
Australia377 Posts
September 30 2011 01:53 GMT
#11
Lots of hugs for you

One of my neighbours hates my cats, she said TO MY FIVE YEAR OLD SON "If your cats come into my garden I will kill them", and one of them has already had a mysterious accident which required a week long hospital stay, so I know very well that feeling of dread when you can't find them...
for science... you monster
Andymoo
Profile Joined March 2011
United States110 Posts
September 30 2011 04:28 GMT
#12
losing a cat is never easy :'( my condolences for you sir, RIP tindra <3
Weson
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
Iceland1032 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-09-30 19:52:42
September 30 2011 19:48 GMT
#13
Thank you guys! I ended up playing 1v1 all the night untill i was so exhausted that i fainted. I haven't played 1v1 in 5 months or so and totally forgot how to play zerg so i eneded up switching to protoss. I failed hard in the begining but after 7 or so games i started winning. Against zerg i did some wierd 10 min 1½ base immortal push, against protoss 4gate or 2 gate robo and against terran i just improvised up to zelots and archons . It really helped me keep my mind off Tindra. My alarm went off at 9 ignored it so i skipped school today.

Feels a little bit better today, i guess i will do another marathon 1v1 run and eat a silly amount of dark choccolate.
"!@€#" - as some guy said
Warri
Profile Joined May 2010
Germany3208 Posts
September 30 2011 22:31 GMT
#14
Ahw man i feel your pain. We had two birds once and we used to put their cage outside from time to time so they can see other people etc. One time my mom forgot to close the cage and one of the birds flew away and never came back The other stayed in the cage though.
matjlav
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
Germany2435 Posts
September 30 2011 23:48 GMT
#15
Aww this was such a sad post. RIP
fuzzayy
Profile Joined February 2011
United States99 Posts
October 01 2011 02:49 GMT
#16
Awe that is so sad dude, i feel your pain
ggggbabybabybaby
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
Canada304 Posts
October 11 2011 18:29 GMT
#17
((((((((((((((((((((((((

Just saw this blog from the pets thread.

I had a cat with a similar personality who got killed by a coyote last year so I know how you feel.

Hope you're feeling better by now.
marttorn
Profile Blog Joined May 2011
Norway5211 Posts
October 11 2011 18:30 GMT
#18
blogs about dead pets make me sad
memes are a dish best served dank
NarutO
Profile Blog Joined December 2006
Germany18839 Posts
October 11 2011 18:35 GMT
#19
T_T................ that is very sad. Even though I've only had mice in the past and they don't get very old like a cat... I still know your pain :-(! RIP Tindra.
CommentatorPolt | MMA | Jjakji | BoxeR | NaDa | MVP | MKP ... truly inspiring.
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