Jay's Hell On Earth Part 2

Jayson X

Switzerland2431 Posts

April 30 2010 20:37 GMT

"Reads fake....plus your english is pretty bad. Is it fake?"
"Hmm."
"And who's that Tumor girl? Do i know her?"
"Hm."
"And who's that at your door? Are you in debt?"
"H."
"What?"
"Would you shut up already you fucking faggot?"

The faggot was Pablo. Pablo The Princess. That's at least what they used to call him in school. These days he likes to go by "Prince". Less gay he thinks. He actually is gay. But that's not the quirky part. He's like 100% asian but his parents named him after some famous painter for some reason. Don't ask me who...

I paint...with coke.

Anyway this guy turns up sometimes. Asking me stupid questions, grumbles about my life and acts like he owns my place, probably trying to fuck me. I'm not bad looking. It is only natural for a gay man to be attracted to me i guess. Once had this pizza boy deliver, well duh, pizzas whenever i orderer. Good looking dude, the blond hair, blue eyes gay type. Had to stop ordering pizza. Guy was giving me looks. I allways wondered if pablo was a giver or taker.

"Jay. Since i'm a giver i brought you some sushi"
"Haha."
"What?"
"Nothing..."
"Anyway. You need to write differently. You make you look like you're some badass. But you're pretty much one of the gayest straightest men i know."
"Whap mmakz uh sei dt?"
"What?"
*coughcough* "Fucking wasabi. What makes you say that?"
"Oh common. You cry everytime at the end of Armageddon.."
"Bruce dies and Affleck survives! Gimme a break."
"You have like 10 different moisturizing creams"
"Because noone tells you what to go for!"
"You fold your cloths all neat and tidy."
"So it's a crime to optimize space now?"
"You sucked somebody's cock once"
"I did not!"

I did not.

"Just checking my friend. Just checking."
"Why don't you get the hell out of my appartment?"
"Is that girl really coming over later?"
"Hm."
"You're an idiot Jay. I remember when you were all cool and shit. And now it's all about vaginas and breasts. One might think someone broke your heart too much"
"Time for you to leave..."
"Not even a kiss?"
"Get the fuck out!"

Sometimes my tong is going all numb. Either if i drink too much Red Bull or cinnamon gums. What has this world fucking come to? Jesus. You know as you get older you realise one thing. You get older. That's it. There is absolutely nothing that stops you from fucking shit up like you did when you were younger. You drink, fuck and watch movies, laugh about stupid shit. Relationships come and go. Jobs come and go. Friends get stabed because they happened to look the wrong way. Old heroes die away. And i'm not even thirty! Fuck this shit man. I'm my own man, right?

Soon you too

"So you acctualy had the balls to meet me. Sit down you wimp before i break your legs"
"Hmm."
"Coffee? Ah no you don't drink coffee, right? One coffee, and one sparkling water"
"I rather have a coke"
"Sparkling water will do fine"
"Hmm."
"See Jay. I like you but you have this one problem. Do you know what it is?"
"My good looks?"
"Funny...but no. Not even close. No. Your problem is, you just don't give a fuck"
"I.."
"You are a stupid idiot Jay. Always underachieving. Always the minimum."
"Gee thanks dad i.."
"Shut the fuck up."
"..."
"So you had a relationship with my daughter. Broke up with her..."
"She broke up with me"
"BROKE(!) HER(!) heart and moved someplace else. Not giving a fuck."
"..."
"But see i don't care about that. What i do care about though is my money."
"What money?"
"What money he says. Funny. The money i put on the table so you could live in a little apartment with my daughter?"
"I never asked for..."
"Quit the sharade you worthless piece of testicles!"
"It's charade"
"What??"
"Nothing.."
"You have 2 weeks to put...3 months worth of rent on my table."
"WHAT!?"
"And since we all know how unreliable you are, i sent my friend Mike to get one or two things from your place as prepayment. 2 Weeks Jay. And now piss off."

2 weeks...

Money. That's the only thing that changes. It's not just computer money, weekend money, porn money anymore. Taxes, rent, insurance, internet connections. I needed someone to flush out my headaches. Preferably when i'm lying on my bed. The living room really looked dull without a couch. Fuck you Mike! At least they left me one of my three computers. No porn on there though. Phone rang.

"Hey"
"Hi."
"How do you feel?"
"You should introduce yourself properly. Noone knows you yet?"
"What?"
"Nevermind."

It's my neighbour. She lives on the same floor. We see us maybe once per month. I have her key, she has mine. She has a boyfriend, i fap when she moans at night. Her boyfriend is called Luke and they both are doing it in paris right now. I was suppose to feed her ugly fat monstrosity of a cat while they were gone. They call the cat Mr. Wiggles. Yeah, i know...

"Anyway. I just wanted to (check) ask if all is alright with you and mr. wiggles"
"Shure no problem. I was just about to (lol) go over (so not) to feed the (fat fuck) little guy"
"Ah great. You know he really needs his food at the right time"
"I'm shure he does."
"Well ok then. We have a great time here. The city is magical!"
"Hm."
"Ok...erm. Have a nice evening Jay!"
"Bye."

Fat fuck fucking fat Mr. fucking Wiggles! Feeding pussy. Oh i zee wat u tit tere, very funny, god. So i checked on the little death star and he wasn't as wiggeliwig as he used to be. More like rotting.

Wiggle you fat fuck!

I decided to let my future self deal with the matter and ignore it for now. It struck me as unusual though that the cat had a butter knife coming out of it's head. A crime scene? "Enhance!" i yelled and giggled as i left the room. Ahh, good one Jay. I took some fresh sheets and half a bottle of cointreau with me before i closed up. Maybe there was time left for another porn tab...