EPT![[image loading]](http://i42.tinypic.com/qq3c7t.jpg)
Hi. I'm Jayson X. Remember me? You might know me from my magazine thread, or my progamer shops here or there or even there. Or you might remember me from that one time i fought zombies while beeing a zombie. Ahh good times...
What happened you ask? Where are the good stories i hear you question? It's all beta this, beta that! Giveaway here, Contest there. I feel your pain my man. It's like we're not even talking anymore right? All you see is countless pages, the same arguments, a shitload of bul...AH CMON. Why keep up the sharade...
![[image loading]](http://i39.tinypic.com/9k9e6w.jpg)
oh it's spelled charade...
So i was asking this girl out right. Well i wasn't asking. I was ABOUT to ask. I worked that girl for months believe me that. Hi, how are you?, please tell me how you feel, say it aint so!, she a bitch for slapping you, blabla. Fuck it i said, it's time to fuck IT (or her). Business time. I fought zombies. I can do this.
So we talked like we usualy talk on the phone. Chatting away about life and shit. And she kinda sensed it. Asked me if i had anything to ask. Of course i had, hehehe.
![[image loading]](http://i42.tinypic.com/2uosxdu.jpg)
Hehehehe.
"Yeah, you know. We know each other now for how long?"
"Few months i guess"
"Yeah months...blue months"
"Hm?"
"Nothing...so anyway. I like you girl. I think about you a lot. How about you and m-"
"Shit!"
"What?"
"I.."
"What? What happened?"
"A good friend of mine just died. I..."
"Oh..i..."
*she starts crying*
"I..."
"I gotta go, i'm sorry"
*click*
![[image loading]](http://i44.tinypic.com/1zqq2z9.jpg)
cockblocked by death
Fuck man! Karma just fucking bitchslapped me.
So after i cleaned up my pc table (hey porn never dies right?) i decided to open up a bottle of beer and scroll trough my phonebook, found a certain someone with a certain affection for one night stands and called her. She's dying you know. Some kind of tumour in her head. Doing terrible terrible damage to her from inside out. At least that's what she's been saying for the last ten fucking years! Anyway she likes the drama, i don't give a shit. She's trash. I like starcraft. A perfect match.
"Hi"
*weak voice answers*
"h...ih...who is...this?"
"It's me jay. How you been girl?"
"Jay? I...don't...anybody with...that name"
"-know- you forgot -know-"
"..."
"hehe"
"What do you want!!?"
"Easy there. You still living at your own place?"
"No, landlord kicked me out for not paying. That bitch stole money out of my r-"
"Yeah yeah, so where do you live?"
"At my boyfriends place..."
"Is he hot?"
"I love him!"
"So he's fat?"
"You're an asshole jay"
"Thanks. Wanna meet then for old times sake?"
"Where?"
"At your place?"
"I'm not cheating on him."
"Then take the train to my place. I drive you home later"
"Fine. But it's going to be late he's leaving late for nightshift"
"Wear the black thing."
"Fuck you Jay!"
*click*
![[image loading]](http://i44.tinypic.com/10cvjp1.jpg)
The black thing.
So i had about 6 to 8 hours of time before she would show up. All i needed now was a bottle of cointreau, a lighter, fresh bed sheets and a bath towel for the squirter. But no need to rush. Porn never dies and since the tab was open anyway... You see i quit smoking and since then i either need to eat, drink, fuck or masturbate. All the time. If you see me chewing gum i'm just compensating. One might ask where's the use when you just find other things to kill you. As slowly and probably even more painfull.
Anyway enough with death, dying, dead or whatever. Buddy (called Eric (or Ric)) from facebook chattin me up, linking me to this website of a whorehouse with 16 year old teenies. It's legal in my country and he's been looking everywhere for the right place with real 16 year old girls. He even calls them, asking for proof, like demands them to send an I.D., i shit you not.
"It's the real deal dude!"
"Ok."
"Wanna come?"
"Are there any asians?"
"I don't know."
"I told you no asians no game."
"I give them a call and find out"
"Ok."
"Btw. can you drive?"
"What happened to your car?"
"Mom needs it all the time now"
"She cheating on your dad?"
"I don't know it's complicated"
"If i drive you pay for it"
"LOL"
"I'm not kidding"
"Cmon man!"
"And check if there are asians"
"Alright i pay half, for a 30 minute massage"
"Don't like that stuff, too much oil, and i need at least an hour"
"Like anyone lasts an hour!"
"I'm not saying i last an hour."
"? - I dont get it"
"Just check if there are asians and give me a call Ric"
"okok laterz jay"
Jesus. Back in the day these kiddy pron dudes would do anything for someone to come with them. I made a mental note to get a kingsize burger king menu out of this whole thing. Gotta eat right? And just as i was about to decide whether i should open another beer or a porn tab my doorbell rang. Pants up, shirt on, and 5 minutes of waiting (you never know) later...
"Your door is thin as paper jay, i can hear you breath"
"What do you want?"
"How about you open that door for me?"
"Hmm. Can't do."
"Why you sleazy little son of a BITCH!??"
"Lost my key..."
"Open it up or i kick it in!"
"Hmm"
"What is there to *hmm* about?"
"Im thinking"
"About?"
"Nothing just daydreaming..."
"You fAcking little SHIT!!"
"..."
"2 hours. Coffee house on the other side of the street!"
"I don't drink coffee"
"Be there or that little door wont stop me next time. You know who i am and what i'm capable of. 2 HOURS!"
Oh my. What a rude guy. Who he is? Well...that's a story for next time i guess...
