EPT
Sucks right? Coughing, fever, headache, chills, aches.. everything pretty much. Fortunately it happened on a weekend when I could lay in bed and sleep it off. I drank water, slept, ate some and rinsed and repeated. Eventually the virus was defeated for the most part..
But that pesky swine flute left me a present:
This cough.
Now normally it isn't a big deal, I sound like a 'smoker but that isn't a big deal.
Unfortunately I did something to myself. There is no evidence of this or declaratory moment when I can say "oh that is what/when it happened!" but afaik I was lying belly down on my bed playing Assassin's Creed 2 when something quite normal happens for a guy.. because of the position of my laying and perhaps the contact with the bed I had a boner. Not a rager. Nothing in the game made me sprung. Just, filled with blood in a certain part of my body. Now I theorize that it was at this time that I then had a coughing fit. In fact, I suspect, I coughed so hard that I literally elevated myself off the bed and smashed down on said boner and perhaps caused some damage. Did it hurt? Not that I can remember.
But later that day and for the next week.. my cock feels like someone has an iron grip around the shaft and is holding it like a vice. I'm not talking GI Jane MAYBE semi-erotic grip I'm talking Richard Kiel going green grip. So much so that even the friction of my pants feels like a rug burn on my head (THAT one). The pain comes, goes and I live on figuring it will pass.
Now, being as how my dong is in pain I became worried that perhaps not all functions were going to participate in my daily routine normally. Being the scientist that I am (I swear it) I did an experiment. Without the details (sorry bears) I tested the firing capabilities of my double gauge going with the white shells as oppose to the typical green shells I was sad to find it wasn't ok. Nothing came out. I finished the deed... I KNOW I DID. But nothing fired. Alarm. Shock. Fear. These are the emotions a man feels when his johnson refuses to discharge visibly.
All is not lost however. A few days after I engaged in certain activities with a certain someone and something certainly resulted. I was relieved. Happy. Ecstatic. The feelings a man feels when IT WORKS.
Since then it has continued to perform lacklusterly for the private audience. Pessimism. Doubt. Anxiety. These are the feelings of a man who has inconsistent results in his pants.
What did I do? Is my rod no longer attracted to me? Did I anger some unseen masturbation god? Am I doomed to always need a hand from someone? This is hard ly the time to s cream but I cannot cum pletely deny that I am in fact scared.
Anyways, wish me luck. And non painful boners.
