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Hey guys, I promised to do a Japan blog but I got (unfairly) temp. banned. But I am back and ready to fulfill my promise. So this will be my first blog
I knew something was wrong. The usual phone call seemed unusual. Her voice was rather quiet, and her attitude was even more quiet. 'Mio, what's wrong?' I asked her in Japanese. She replies, 'nothing.' 5 more minutes of unusual awkward conversation ensues. Experiences have taught me that some Japanese girls will not tell you everything on their minds. I reach my breaking point. I say to her 'tell me why you are being so cold?' She skirts around the question by telling me its because of the cold weather. At that point, I knew it. Our relationship would soon come to an end. It was only a month of adventure, but franky, I was exhausted too. I felt that she had borderline personality disorder. She would easily get angry at me for no reason, and back to easily being happy. The breakup would be a blessing in disguise that I would realize only now.
During that week, I was very stressed. I still very much liked the girl, her breakup seemed to make no sense, especially when we had a recent happy date in Tokyo disneyland. Later that week, she told me she had simply lost feelings for me because she realized we are not compatible. Me, being a little pathetic sap I was, said that we could make it work. I could change. I asked for another chance. She simply refused. At that point, I wondered what was it that I did that messed everything up. I treated her nicely, and I felt I was fairly entertaining when we were dating. But later I realized it would not have made a difference.
I sat down and thought about a few things. A few things seemed not right. For one, there was a picture of her I took that she really liked. The day we broke up, she used the picture as her profile picture on a messaging app. On her facebook, there seemed to be photos of food and restaurants and scenary...all of which would have been perfect date photos. I would no way of knowing whether there was a guy with her because the photos did not show a person. It did cut off at a rather masculine arm, however. Few days after the breakup, I confronted her about her cheating on me. I told her I didn't have perfect evidence but everything would make much more sense if she found another guy and left me. She denied it while displaying harsh demeanor. When people lie, they seem much more emotional than usual. Her tone told me what I needed to know; I was right.
I told her she was a scum for cheating on me. Later that week, she uploaded photos of the guy she went on a date with on fb. Because we've only been going out for a month and a half, it didn't feel like hell, but it was still incredibly frustrating. It was also the first time a girl cheated on me. I stopped messaging her and told myself to forget about her. It was a lesson well learned. Before this experience, I was naive enough to believe that Japanese girls are less likely than Western girls to cheat. After this experience, I talked with some Japanese male friends who told me that cheating is rampant here.
There are three reasons for this.
For one, texting is way more dominant than calling here. When we meet new people here, we almost always text. Even during relationships, its rare to have relationships where you call each other daily. Phone charges / phone calling is expensive in cell phone plans here, and has only recently begun to break out of its shell with the increase in popularity with a free calling / texting app called LINE. When you text your girlfriend / boyfriend all the time, it's hard to know if they are out with another guy / clubbing.
For two, it seems to me that Japanese guys are not very faithful (just my opinion). When the guys are not faithful, it breeds the same nature on the girls who are cheated on. The trend of cheating うわき is something that worries me everytime I meet a girl here.
For three, its not as common as Western countries for you to introduce your girlfriend/boyfriend to your inner circle of friends. I don't know why they don't do this, but because your girl/guy is not connected to your friends, you don't hold a sense of guilt, there are no accountability check by your friends, and so on.
Before I came to Japan, I thought of Japanese girls as innocent and timid beings. I realize now, that an average Japanese girl is more likely to cheat on you as a girl back home in the States. They are not afraid to rip your heart apart. Of course, this is not the same for every girl, but after dating around and meeting a lot of girls here, this is the view that I have developed.
The nasty breakup wasn't the sole reason for me to develop this view, it's just stories of things happening to my friends here and living here that has really taught me this. I'm currently in a new healthy relationship here so it's not me being just bitter or whatnot.
If you're coming to Japan for the food / culture / experience, I recommend it. If you're coming here to meet your future wife / girl of your dreams, forget it. If you're coming here to try to get some easy sex, be prepared to get used to uglier girls (these tend to like foreigners...maybe desperation? I dont know) If you're coming here to work, forget it. Japanese work life is dull, inefficient, and terrible.
Anyway, please wait for my future Japan blogs on different things. If you want me to blog about something, please write in comments what you want to learn about.
Thanks for listening.
 
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Sorry about what happened to you, and it must really hurt. But don't you think you may be drawing sweeping generalizations about Japanese and American girls?
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It was painful then, but it doesn't affect me now. I realize what I said is a generalization but its just my opinion from my experiences. Im just providing you guys a viewpoint of someone who has lived in both countries and dated girls from both society. Take my viewpoint with a grain of salt if u will
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Whats your favorite kind of japanese food? And is Buddhism as strong there as it seems, particularly Zen Buddhism?
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Osaka27173 Posts
Another foreigner in Japan that has no game and blames it on the culture through sweeping generalizations.
You know how I know this is true? When you called getting banned unfair, even though you have been warned/banned for the exact same thing multiple times. Your behaviour doesn't change (being a jerk/balance whine) the results don't change (get heartbroken/get banned) and your blame assessment doesn't change (fucking Japan/fucking mods).
But how about them tasty ramen noodles, amirite?
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So why are you here? Did you come to meet your future timid wife? Want some easy sex? Gotta go with Manifesto on this one.
To be fair, the cheating prevalence thing is something that has crossed my mind in the past going by conversations I've had with people here. To me it seems like a symptom of relationships dragging out long past their use-by date. I wouldn't generalise like that though.
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This blog was a good laugh, I needed it.
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Yeah... I've been here for four years, and I don't agree.
I don't think cheating is that much more common here than elsewhere, at least not in my experience. Sure, there are the types that you are speaking of, but are you sure that you aren't the one finding the same type of girls?
You really find people who are texting with their boyfriend while they are on a date with another guy? I can't believe that there are too many of that kind, no matter of what country you're speaking of.
I'll have to agree with Manifesto, too.
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United States3292 Posts
On May 10 2013 14:42 Manifesto7 wrote:
Another foreigner in Japan that has no game and blames it on the culture through sweeping generalizations.
You know how I know this is true? When you called getting banned unfair, even though you have been warned/banned for the exact same thing multiple times. Your behaviour doesn't change (being a jerk/balance whine) the results don't change (get heartbroken/get banned) and your blame assessment doesn't change (fucking Japan/fucking mods).
But how about them tasty ramen noodles, amirite?
Oh manifesto.... I'm soo glad your back. And ramen noodles are supa good.
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United Kingdom3685 Posts
When I grow up, I want to be Mani.
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On May 10 2013 14:42 Manifesto7 wrote:
Another foreigner in Japan that has no game and blames it on the culture through sweeping generalizations.
You know how I know this is true? When you called getting banned unfair, even though you have been warned/banned for the exact same thing multiple times. Your behaviour doesn't change (being a jerk/balance whine) the results don't change (get heartbroken/get banned) and your blame assessment doesn't change (fucking Japan/fucking mods).
But how about them tasty ramen noodles, amirite?
What other sound do you expect a GhostOwl to make than a whining?
Anyway, sucks to be cheated on but everything in your text was annoying.
Japan is not Disneyland, other people pointed out already that your generalization are horrible.
You want generalization. No one is straight forward about anything in life. What we think is the only "liberty" we have. We all keep things quiet to avoid confrontation and that is keeping peace in the world.
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after reading this I had to think of netorare ero mangas....
sorry for you man about the cheating
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On May 10 2013 14:42 Manifesto7 wrote:
Another foreigner in Japan that has no game and blames it on the culture through sweeping generalizations.
You know how I know this is true? When you called getting banned unfair, even though you have been warned/banned for the exact same thing multiple times. Your behaviour doesn't change (being a jerk/balance whine) the results don't change (get heartbroken/get banned) and your blame assessment doesn't change (fucking Japan/fucking mods).
But how about them tasty ramen noodles, amirite?
Why are you picking a fight with me? If you look at my most recent ban, it was a joke post, but the mod took it too seriously and thought I was complaining. Given my history, I'd say it's fair, but if it really was balance whining, I would have wrote out a detailed explanation to try to convince others.
Using the TL ban example to imply that my heartbreak is deserved is a real classy move, even from you. I also don't see why you try to say I have no game from my TL postings. Why is a married man talking about game anyway? Or does it sting you because you want to believe your Japanese wife will/won't cheat on you?
Anyway, if you have nothing kind to say, please don't say it.
P.S. I believe I do have game:
+ Show Spoiler +![[image loading]](http://i39.tinypic.com/34qmq6x.png) Every dot except 2 was a date.
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On May 10 2013 14:27 ILuMiNaTe wrote:
Whats your favorite kind of japanese food? And is Buddhism as strong there as it seems, particularly Zen Buddhism?
I love Yakisoba and sushi. Okonomiyaki is very good too. Honestly, I haven't been able to taste the difference between expensive sushi and cheap sushi. They are just really well made here. But if you go to a chain izakaya (drinking place where they serve food), you can find almost any Japanese food for low price.
I feel like Shinto is stronger but most people who DO believe in Shinto here will probably identify themselves as non-religious. It's more of a tradition/custom mindset than it is a religion to some people here. The funny thing about Japan is that it's hard to distinguish if a person believes in Shintoism or Buddhism here, even though they are two completely different religions. The culture here caters to both.
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Stop worrying and be more interesting. More interesting is always better, even if you're already interesting. Don't take routine so much. Surprise her. Routine is a recipe for stale.
GLHF
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On May 10 2013 16:34 GhostOwl wrote:Show nested quote +On May 10 2013 14:42 Manifesto7 wrote:
Another foreigner in Japan that has no game and blames it on the culture through sweeping generalizations.
You know how I know this is true? When you called getting banned unfair, even though you have been warned/banned for the exact same thing multiple times. Your behaviour doesn't change (being a jerk/balance whine) the results don't change (get heartbroken/get banned) and your blame assessment doesn't change (fucking Japan/fucking mods).
But how about them tasty ramen noodles, amirite? Why are you picking a fight with me? If you look at my most recent ban, it was a joke post, but the mod took it too seriously and thought I was complaining. Given my history, I'd say it's fair, but if it really was balance whining, I would have wrote out a detailed explanation to try to convince others. Using the TL ban example to imply that my heartbreak is deserved is a real classy move, even from you. I also don't see why you try to say I have no game from my TL postings. Why is a married man talking about game anyway? Or does it sting you because you want to believe your Japanese wife will/won't cheat on you? Anyway, if you have nothing kind to say, please don't say it. P.S. I believe I do have game: + Show Spoiler +Every dot except 2 was a date.
Yeah...your a douche.
And mani is pretty much spot on lol.
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I encourage you to take a more nuanced view of men and women. Having one Japanese girl cheat on you, and taking that as a representative data for use in analyzing the whole of Japanese women, is bronze-level understanding.
It's as bad as playing a Protoss TvP who DT rushes you and then calling all Ps abusive cheesers. Never mind the fact that this is one player of many, never mind the fact that it's one game among millions played each day.
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Korea (South)11597 Posts
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So girls cheating is rampant in Japan because:
Apparently Japanese guys cheat a lot. Spot the key word.
Texting is the preferred medium for communication (pretty standard)
Japanese don't like to introduce partners to their friends (generalisation, with all your dates/short relationships I doubt it's the case. If you were worth showing off they definitely would.)
Your Japanese gf of about a month 'might' have cheated on you (lol)
You don't even know she cheated. Maybe this other guy just asked her out and she realised he was a better deal and broke up with you to date with him? Going on your writing that seems quite plausible. You claim to have dated a lot of Japanese girls yet this is the first time you've been cheated on. So why the massive generalisation?
And then apparently: Japanese work life is dull, inefficient, and terrible and only the uglier girls will have sex with foreigners. Try not to blame an entire country for how shitty your job/love life is. Basic common sense/probability tells me there are almost certainly foreigners over there who love their jobs and sleep with beautiful women.
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United Kingdom14103 Posts
On May 10 2013 14:42 Manifesto7 wrote:
Another foreigner in Japan that has no game and blames it on the culture through sweeping generalizations.
You know how I know this is true? When you called getting banned unfair, even though you have been warned/banned for the exact same thing multiple times. Your behaviour doesn't change (being a jerk/balance whine) the results don't change (get heartbroken/get banned) and your blame assessment doesn't change (fucking Japan/fucking mods).
But how about them tasty ramen noodles, amirite?
Manifesto fucking shit up.
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EPT
