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posted on another forum.
WARNING: this is long, but well-formatted. there are a few questions near the bottom, but really i am happy for any comment you have at all 
THANKS IN ADVANCE
when i write this , i am looking back at the past . i am ~24
i started working full time, for the first time, and , being around so many people so often , i realised that my "eccentricities" really were problematic in "normal" society
i was also drinking very heavily and frequently
to begin with i thought my "eccentricities" were just normal part of me and they didn't cause me any worry. increasingly , exacerbated by alcohol, i began to view them as "intrusive"
i would experience constant, racing "intrusive thoughts" . i would say think and say weird things and cause people to blink in astonishment.
when i saw certain people i really liked i would jump up and down and run after them shouting their name with glee
i would do things like play with objects, ask very random questions that people would laugh (or frown) and be like "WTF?" at
i would do things like draw on the veins of my hand with ink pen, because it interested me, seemed like a fun thing to do
(all of this stuff at work)
i put it down to boredom at first. then i started thinking it was simply due to my "obsessive" nature - i was simply obsessive/compulsive about "thinking" about things: that would explain my racing thoughts. i decided that, for example, i was very "interested" in "thinking about what people are thinking", and "thinking about what people think that i am thinking".
before christmas this year, stress from work and alcohol , exacerbated my condition to what you could describe as manic and border-line breakdown/psychotic. at one point i drove drunk to a shop to buy more alcohol, and contemplated how interesting it would be to go turn myself over to the police, just so i could experience what a jail is like
fortunately, coincidently, i had recently watched a program about some politician who had a mental breakdown , and managed to identify this in myself. i screwed my head on (sorta) and got through it without making a public exhibition of myself
i then began to realise/wonder that i might have a "condition"
i looked on the net and decided that - wow! the wiki about "hypomania" seems to fit me quite snugly. i got a blood test for thyroid problems and it came back negative.
the last few weeks , since i have been more aware and educated, i have realised a couple of things. initially i put them down to compulsiveness/obsessive behaviour. i am still quite certain that i exhibit very obsessive behaviour , HOWEVER , i now know that this COMES AND GOES.
a) MANY people will back me up when i say "i think i need mood stablisers". these are friends and coworkers , people who know me well and people who barely know me
b) every 2 weeks (or less?) i appear to have a hypomanic episode.
let me give this morning as an example. yesterday , and for the past 10 days, i have been hermitting in my room, not caring to leave the house or do anything at all. i have been watching stuff and playing solitary computer games.
this morning i woke up and said to my friend online, "i feel really elated today. this is the kind of day i would go out (in the morning, since i have no work atm) and get some alcohol".
c) i realised and decided definately that alcohol is NOT the cause of my swings. alcohol is something that i DO when i feel an "upswing". this is because i have always understood that alcohol is a "mood elevator" and i have always used it to enhance my mood when i am feeling good. i generally avoid alcohol when i am feeling bad because i know it will not bring me the pleasure i am after.
d) i further identify the episode:
the last ~10 days i have quit smoking cold turkey. i have also not been talking to a girl i like very much. i have NOT been obsessing about either of these things. however, today, i have VERY MUCH been obsessing about them, to the point of complete distraction. i had to go to a friends house and have "just one cigarette", and i tried to phone the girl multiple times.
i could have controlled these actions with willpower, but nevertheless the intense emotional difference between today and the previous week is so noticeable.
my first questions are here:
a) do/can episodes just "spring" upon you, like the difference between today and yesterday?
b) do/can episodes occur every 2 weeks, as i would say mine appear to?
note: i cannot tell you how long an "episode" lasts for at this stage. this is most definately because i immediately get totally drunk as soon as one occurs.
a result of getting drunk is that i now (since the last 12 months) get intolerable anxiety syndrome which begins the following afternoon and which is absolutely direly crippling. for the next 1-2 days i feel like i have "stage fright" continuously, my thoughts race manically - or i have absolutely zero concentration (seems to alternate, quite rapidly, from memory).
this anxiety issue is a whole different issue i feel - im just stressing that it takes over everything so its hard for me to consider my hypomania during this.
i might edit later with more/different information
i include a poll for those who do not want to type
Poll: bipolar/similar?
(Vote): yes
(Vote): likely
(Vote): maybe
(Vote): unlikely
(Vote): no
 
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Wait what?
Are you asking a gaming forum to diagnose your mental disabilities? or am I being trolled?
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We're not shrinks. Go see a professional.
Seriously. I'm not joking and it's worth your time and money. If you don't like the first interview, don't go back. But still, try it.
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do not self diagnose yourself
if you think you bipolar or something, go for pro help.
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wtf guys? im seeing a specialist in a few days, if you dont have an interesting opinion of your own then dont bother posting "dont ask us", honestly!!! we've all been using the internet long enough to know how this works!!!!
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On April 29 2009 01:32 Chill wrote:
People of Teamliquid: Use your head.
This is starting to become a huge problem here. Yes, it's nice to have a small enough community where we can talk to each other on this forum as if it is a chat. Unfortuantely (or fortunately, however you look at it), this website has grown far past that point.
When you are making a thread in the normal forum, your goal should be to provide content to others. Ask yourself if people reading your OP are giong to get anything out of it.
If it serves more selfish purposes, such as advice or help (like this thread), it's more appropriate for the blog section. This does not, however, mean the blog section is a free pass to posting anything that's on your mind. You should still consider if people are going to get anything out of it.
This thread is an example of the kinds of threads I don't want to see any more. It's stupid. First of all the title is in capitals. It's trivial, but the title implies immediate problems. But most of all, it doesn't make sense to be posted. The OP isn't going to get any advice quick enough to change his decision one way or another. So why bother posting this? It has no content for others and serves no purpose to you, the OP.
A problem I've seen occuring far too often here, is the threads with content get few replies, as they are quickly engulfed by a sea of utter shit like this. Even when asking people to make new blogs, they have told me they don't bother because they know it will only be seen for 2 hours before threads like this swallow it up.
Stop doing this. Use your head. I'm going to start taking further action to enforce this.
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ok thanks for the heads up (i banned you)
mod feel free to tidy this thread up if it so takes ur fancy -.-
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starflash April 29 2009 21:39. Posts 39
Nothing to see here guys, move along now.
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Yeah... see the specialist, because you're gonna start getting idiots who know everything, who say bipolar doesn't exist, etc etc.
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i dont mind what people say so long it is interesting :<
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Self-diagnoses are self-forfilling prophecies. Or however you spell any of that.
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The definitions given below are from Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition, 1994 (American Psychiatric Association, 1400 K Street NW, Suite 1101, Washington, DC 20005-2403 USA).
Bipolar I Disorder--Diagnostic Features (DSM-IV, p. 350)
The essential feature of Bipolar I Disorder is a clinical course that is characterized by the occurrence of one or more Manic Episodes or Mixed Episodes. Often individuals have also had one or more Major Depressive Episodes. Episodes of Substance-Induced Mood Disorder (due to the direct effects of a medication, or other somatic treatments for depression, a drug of abuse, or toxin exposure) or of Mood Disorder Due to a General Medical Condition do not count toward a diagnosis of Bipolar I Disorder. In addition, the episodes are not better accounted for by Schizoaffective Disorder and are not superimposed on Schizophrenia, Schizophreniform Disorder, Delusional Disorder, or Psychotic Disorder Not Otherwise Specified. . . .
Bipolar II Disorder--Diagnostic Features (DSM-IV, p. 359)
The essential feature of Bipolar II Disorder is a clinical course that is characterized by the occurrence of one or more Major Depressive Episodes accompanied by at least one Hypomanic Episode. Hypomanic Episodes should not be confused with the several days of euthymia that may follow remission of a Major Depressive Episode. Episodes of Substance- Induced Mood Disorder (due to the direct effects of a medication, or other somatic treatments for depression, a drug of abuse, or toxin exposure) or of Mood Disorder Due to a General Medical Condition do not count toward a diagnosis of Bipolar I Disorder. In addition, the episodes are not better accounted for by Schizoaffective Disorder and are not superimposed on Schizophrenia, Schizophreniform Disorder, Delusional Disorder, or Psychotic Disorder Not Otherwise Specified. . . .
Criteria for Major Depressive Episode (DSM-IV, p. 327)
A. Five (or more) of the following symptoms have been present during the same 2-week period and represent a change from previous functioning; at least one of the symptoms is either (1) depressed mood or (2) loss of interest or pleasure.
Note: Do not include symptoms that are clearly due to a general medical condition, or mood-incongruent delusions or hallucinations.
1. depressed mood most of the day, nearly every day, as indicated by either subjective report (e.g., feels sad or empty) or observation made by others (e.g. appears tearful). Note: In children and adolescents, can be irritable mood.
2. markedly diminished interest or pleasure in all, or almost all, activities most of the day, nearly every day (as indicated by either subjective account or observation made by others)
3. significant weight loss when not dieting or weight gain (e.g., a change of more than 5% of body weight in a month), or decrease or increase in appetite nearly every day. Note: In children, consider failure to make expected weight gains.
4. insomnia or hypersomnia nearly every day
5. psychomotor agitation or retardation nearly every day (observable by others, not merely subjective feelings of restlessness or being slowed down)
6. fatigue or loss of energy nearly every day
7. feelings of worthlessness or excessive or inappropriate guilt (which may be delusional) nearly every day (not merely self-reproach or guilt about being sick)
8. diminished ability to think or concentrate, or indecisiveness, nearly every day (either by subjective account or as observed by others)
9. recurrent thoughts of death (not just fear of dying), recurrent suicidal ideation without a specific plan, or a suicide attempt or a specific plan for committing suicide
B. The symptoms do not meet criteria for a Mixed Episode.
C. The symptoms cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.
D. The symptoms are not due to the direct physiological effects of a substance (e.g., a drug of abuse, a medication) or a general medical condition (e.g., hypothyroidism).
NOTE: You should stop with the alcohol consumption, its makes things complicated.
E. The symptoms are not better accounted for by bereavement, i.e., after the loss of a loved one, the symptoms persist for longer than 2 months or are characterized by marked functional impairment, morbid preoccupation with worthlessness, suicidal ideation, psychotic symptoms, or psychomotor retardation.
Criteria for Manic Episode (DSM-IV, p. 332)
A. A distinct period of abnormally and persistently elevated, expansive, or irritable mood, lasting at least 1 week (or any duration if hospitalization is necessary).
B. During the period of mood disturbance, three (or more) of the following symptoms have persisted (four if the mood is only irritable) and have been present to a significant degree:
1. inflated self-esteem or grandiosity
2. decreased need for sleep (e.g., feels rested after only 3 hours of sleep)
3. more talkative than usual or pressure to keep talking
4. flight of ideas or subjective experience that thoughts are racing
5. distractibility (i.e., attention too easily drawn to unimportant or irrelevant external stimuli)
6. increase in goal-directed activity (either socially, at work or school, or sexually) or psychomotor agitation
7. excessive involvement in pleasurable activities that have a high potential for painful consequences (e.g., engaging in unrestrained buying sprees, sexual indiscretions, or foolish business investments)
C. The symptoms do not meet criteria for a Mixed Episode.
D. The mood disturbance is sufficiently severe to cause marked impairment in occupational functioning or in usual social activities or relationships with others, or to necessitate hospitalization to prevent harm to self or others, or there are psychotic features.
E. The symptoms are not due to the direct physiological effects of a substance (e.g., a drug of abuse, a medication, or other treatments) or a general medical condition (e.g., hyperthyroidism).
Note: Manic-like episodes that are clearly caused by somatic antidepressant treatment (e.g., medication, electroconvulsive therapy, light therapy) should not count toward a diagnosis of Bipolar I Disorder.
Criteria for Mixed Episode (DSM-IV, p. 335)
A. The criteria are met both for a Manic Episode and for a Major Depressive Episode (except for duration) nearly every day during at least a 1-week period.
B. The mood disturbance is sufficiently severe to cause marked impairment in occupational functioning or in usual social activities or relationships with others, or to necessitate hospitalization to prevent harm to self or others, or there are psychotic features.
C. The symptoms are not due to the direct physiological effects of a substance (e.g., a drug of abuse, a medication, or other treatment) or a general medical condition (e.g., hyperthyroidism).
Criteria for Hypomanic Episode (DSM-IV, p. 338)
A. A distinct period of persistently elevated, expansive, or irritable mood, lasting throughout at least 4 days, that is clearly different from the usual nondepressed mood.
B. During the period of mood disturbance, three (or more) of the following symptoms have persisted (four if the mood is only irritable) and have been present to a significant degree:
1. inflated self-esteem or grandiosity
2. decreased need for sleep (e.g., feels rested after only 3 hours of sleep)
3. more talkative than usual or pressure to keep talking
4. flight of ideas or subjective experience that thoughts are racing
5. distractibility (i.e., attention too easily drawn to unimportant or irrelevant external stimuli)
6. increase in goal-directed activity (either socially, at work or school, or sexually) or psychomotor agitation
7. excessive involvement in pleasurable activities that have a high potential for painful consequences (e.g., engaging in unrestrained buying sprees, sexual indiscretions, or foolish business investments)
C. The episode is associated with an unequivocal change in functioning that is uncharacteristic of the person when not symptomatic.
D. The disturbance in mood and the change in functioning are observable by others.
E. The episode is not severe enough to cause marked impairment in social or occupational functioning, or to necessitate hospitalization, and there are no psychotic features.
F. The symptoms are not due to the direct physiological effects of a substance (e.g., a drug of abuse, a medication, or other treatment) or a general medical condition (e.g., hyperthyroidism).
Note: Hypomanic-like episodes that are clearly caused by somatic antidepressant treatment (e.g., medication, electroconvulsive therapy, light therapy) should not count toward a diagnosis of Bipolar II Disorder.
SOURCE: http://www.fortunecity.com/campus/psychology/781/dsm.htm
Google: DSM Bipolar, dsm is the diagnostic guidelines used in psych
Notes: Obviously some of these can be easily faked/convinced yourself into believing and doing. The current trend in psychologists in USA is to give medication. If you don't have the disorder, and you manage to convince them that you do, they will not hesitate to give you liberal doses of lithium
Side effects of lithium: http://www.drugs.com/sfx/lithium-side-effects.html
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thanks for a more detailed criterea than i have seen in basic searches,
but really none of this is "useful" per se (wtvr that means) to me at this stage
what really is useful is people's self-worded experiences, opinions, comparisons
for example, compare yourself to my own account - whether you are clinically diagnosed with a problem or not. how can you relate to what i write? how can i relate to your own experiences?
if , for example, you can relate to some of the things or examples i have written, THAT is an interesting contribution
apparently 1 in 100 people can be diagnosed with bipolar to some significant extent, so if you DONT relate to my posts, or think i'm trolling or being an asshat/asshole, then bare this in mind and have some patience or level of open-mindedness
edit: i absolutely agree beyond anything that these sorts of conditions can be imagined, faked, self inflicted, confused, misdiagnosed etc etc etc etc etc etc .
i know for a FACT that i suffer from extremely obsessive behaviour, and if EVERYTHING else is discounted or is garbage, i still know this one remaining thing is true and is a problem / cause of problems. however, recent and longterm analysis seems to suggest that bipolar might be a truth
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Ok, I'm a psych student and I know for sure that the behavior you described aligns with certain criteria I know. Also, one-liners about going to see a shrink aren't great to hear but you shouldn't be dismissing what people are saying as not being "useful," because your symptoms are pretty obvious.
This isn't a bad thing actually. It helps a lot with recognizing a problem, which you have already done, and diagnosing it by a professional. Get yourself checked out if you haven't already. Make an appointment.
A lot of people still think of psych in a old school Sigmund Freud "it's all in your head" way. There's a stigma here based on outdated ramblings very different from modern psych. This stigma with "psych nutcases" makes people uncomfortable with possibly having a psych disorder because they think something is horribly wrong with them, like they're a freak, and they don't realize that lot of disorders are directly treatable like taking medicine for the flu. If you're not sure of how to get treated, ask your doctor, or any doctor, and they can refer you to some trusted professionals also at the same hospital.
One more thing, and this is most important. Don't tunnel vision and focus only on bipolar. Your poll should have more options than you can count on your two hands and feet. One of the things that makes psych disorders difficult to pinpoint is that more often than not, it's a combination of disorders with one main disorder and some more minor other stuff added on top of it. Just relax and be give as much information as you can, and let the doctor take care of the rest.
Remember to make an appointment. That's proven to be 100% the hardest thing to do.
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yup i understand that shit and hope that is reasonably obvious in my writings
i have appointment friday with shrink, already been to doctor
note that i have , oc, visited other forums and read that i am nothing like many/most chronic cases of disorder. hence it is even more important for me to delve into other ppls exp.
its important to know what "normal" is before u can ascertain what is "abnormal"
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attention whore? this probably sums it up
going back to smoking and calling some chick you interested in has probably nothing to do with having a disorder. You are just weak, take a cold shower and stop masturbating on hourly basis.
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a) do/can episodes just "spring" upon you, like the difference between today and yesterday?
b) do/can episodes occur every 2 weeks, as i would say mine appear to?
The answer to both of these questions is yes.
From just your forum post, I can't really tell if you have a disorder or not... But I don't really think so. When you go to see the expert to diagnose you, make sure you answer very honestly. Make sure you're not trying to be diagnosed with something so that you can have an excuse for your behaviour. I'm not insulting your character, it's just very common and very tempting to do. All an expert can do is analyse what you've told him.
Good luck
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On April 30 2009 02:09 food wrote:
attention whore? this probably sums it up
going back to smoking and calling some chick you interested in has probably nothing to do with having a disorder. You are just weak, take a cold shower and stop masturbating on hourly basis.
Um, how much understanding do you got on the subject? I would guess none. Just because you can't understand how it would be to have a mental disorder do not mean that they do not exist.
Also roughly 3% got bipolar, it is not that uncommon. Think of it like women's periods but worse.
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On April 30 2009 02:43 Chef wrote:Show nested quote +a) do/can episodes just "spring" upon you, like the difference between today and yesterday?
b) do/can episodes occur every 2 weeks, as i would say mine appear to? The answer to both of these questions is yes. From just your forum post, I can't really tell if you have a disorder or not... But I don't really think so. When you go to see the expert to diagnose you, make sure you answer very honestly. Make sure you're not trying to be diagnosed with something so that you can have an excuse for your behaviour. I'm not insulting your character, it's just very common and very tempting to do. All an expert can do is analyse what you've told him. Good luck
thanks a lot. i am, of course, interested why you would personally say i do not have this disorder specifically.
what is veyr revelent is otherguy's post which states that 1% of the population is theorised to suffer from bipolar. thats a fucking huge number. if i compared myself to 100 other people im pretty sure i would be right up there. i can however safely say that i am not able to compare myself with 100 other people
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On April 30 2009 04:19 Klockan3 wrote:Show nested quote +On April 30 2009 02:09 food wrote:
attention whore? this probably sums it up
going back to smoking and calling some chick you interested in has probably nothing to do with having a disorder. You are just weak, take a cold shower and stop masturbating on hourly basis. Um, how much understanding do you got on the subject? I would guess none. Just because you can't understand how it would be to have a mental disorder do not mean that they do not exist. Also roughly 3% got bipolar, it is not that uncommon. Think of it like women's periods but worse.
I am well aware of what it is and had some in depth experience with it. Thus your guessing failed you. I GUESS as usual.
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i'm just a lowly undergrad studying psych so take what i say with giant servings of salt, and on top of that diagnosing over the internetz is sure to give you minus >9000 accuracy. Not to mention its been a year since i've reviewed psych disorders material so theres a chance that i'm mixing up my facts.
but imHo, you do not seem to have bipolar to me mainly because in your OP you do not report at all about feeling bad. You maaaay be experiencing mild manic phases, but without the depressive phase you cant really call it bi-polar. I posted the DSM guidelines so you can get a better understanding of just what bi-polar consists of. Your alcohol use heavily clouds things because at low doses it creates elation but at higher doses it is a depressant. And IF you are drinking semi-regularly it will alter your mood, making self report difficult.
Furthermore, your obsessive compulsiveness is hard to categorize under manic. Bipolar usually develops in early adolescence and during adulthood. So If you've always been a crazy obsess/compulsive kid growing up, then its not as likely that you have bipolar. Furthermore, most manic phases include a giant increase in striving to complete goals. People in manic phases feel many times more productive than usual, and come up with many more ideas. If you are suddenly starting many small projects and trying to do them all at the same time, and you seriously believe that it is possible, then you might be manic. I personally dont really think picking up a phone and calling a girl counts. or going "cold turkey" on cigs but then returning to them weeks later.
Regarding your statistics of population % with bipolar, you should explore your family medical history also. You are more at risk for depression/bipolar if you have family who have experienced it before. Girls are also more likely than guys to have this disorder (30ish% versus 15ish% iirc).
To answer your a/b questions, yes manic phases can spring up on you, but so will depressive phases. And usually when they do your friends will be able to notice the significant change. And yes, they do tend to cycle semi-regularly, but it can be anywhere from two weeks to a few months per phase.
If you really feel that you have a mood disorder, i would tentatively point you to take a look at cyclothymia instead. Bipolar is usually quite debilitating, and if you are able to hold long term employment, then usually you are quite sane.
Again, take my words with large blocks of salt. I'm not a trained professional at all. And its not like i know you at all so if any of my assumptions about you are wrong, well then go ahead and throw out the theory too.
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hmm i was w/ u on everything cept the random drawing stuff... i just don't do those
but i do say random stuff and think random stuff at random times which is most of the time
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EPT
