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Girl thread time! People like to groan about the incessant abundance of these types of threads, most looking for advice, and some just sharing their experiences. But actually, girl threads tend to have high views and garner much interest and response. Though most would tend to deny it, especially in a male dominated environment that discourages sensitivity and womanly gossip, people are quite entertained and enjoy sharing their experiences with romance.
The reason is that romantic love is such a universal, mysterious, and strong emotion for humans. As I recall reading, considering straight or gay or bisexual sexual orientations, there has not been real recognition of asexual people. Everyone likely can relate to this sense of lust and passion. This emotion is extremely deep, strong, and highly influential to a person's decisions. It is also very volatile, defies expectations and logic, and mysterious. This is the reason why so much music, movies, stories, art are created under the motivation of love. As men we like to dismiss too discussion in this topic to avoid seeming oversensitive. But I want to join the fray regardless and add my thoughts.
Firstly I'll make it clear I am totally straight. I like girls. This is in preparation against cracks at gay accusations I expect after the following details. I have never kissed a girl, never closely embraced, hugged, never held a girl's hand. I admit in the grand scale I am relatively young and still have much opportunity to do this. I won't say exactly how old I am, that you can try to assess on your own. I enjoy indirect subtlety and riddles; I suppose the answers are available to those who have the right sense and intuition. But seeing the people around me, I feel like a minority and left out of the enjoyment. I may be called somewhat prudish and draw old-fashioned lines on the limits of public sexual immodesty. I seldom or never engage in sexual related discussions. It just stands out a bit in this day of western societal standards.
Its not that I actually need these comforts immediately, from just anyone. I would rather wait and for the right person to share these experiences with. In the meantime, it is cold and lonely to be void of personal contact. This is starting to sound like those Christian abstinence campaign testimonials. I can assure you I scoff at any religion, except I just happen to share those certain values.
Now here's the main problem. I pose some rather high standards in the girl I'm looking for. I am even willing to sacrifice those demands for someone I may share a true romantic chemistry with. There is no such thing as a soulmate. This belief is rather destructive and damaging when looking for a partner - no one is perfect. So that leaves us with a vast sea of potentials that may or may not be successful pairing matches. How then do we choose the best one? Even in this sea, the opportunity to get to know someone you with high partnership potential is very limited. In life, perhaps the best time to get to meet girls is during school age, namely high school and college/university. Still that would limit you to the people you may meet during your daily routine. After you graduate and move into the workforce, your exposure is even more restricted. The prospects in a typical working life are rather dim.
Treating this purely as a numbers game, in life, the number of potentials you may get to know well are slim. I know that in the greater population, there is definitely a selection of girls with a much higher chemistry rating that I will never get to meet. I may pass by in the street, but the circumstances of this non-existant interaction do no good for my prospects in knowing them better. This is maddeningly frustrating for me, trying to strike a balance in finding the most compatible partner in a limited field knowing that in the possible sea out there a much better match is available.
However, this is not an excuse for unfaithfulness. I have no respect for couples that cheat or separate after a consentual marriage. Clearly they have made a commitment knowing their partner very well and chose to be able to live together. But what if they found a higher compatibility partner in the greater sea and are only maximizing their own chemistry? Perhaps this can be allowed if in the case of both partners finding a higher atrraction match. Otherwise it is obviously unjust for the abandoned person. But more importantly, the time spent together should be able to strengthen a couples romantic ties and only heighten their mutual attraction ratings. I would describe it as irrevocably investing one's time and effort in strengthening a relationship, which would be a terrible waste if this was discarded.
By locking oneself in this investment, they should be expected to remain with their partner for life, barring special circumstances. Me, being an old fashioned romantic, hold myself to the same standards. Thus the girl I am looking for cannot be a mere compromise for affection; I shall make a decisive commitment to my true love. This brings us to the ultimate question: how can I possibly devote so much into a target knowing I can achieve far greater returns from another girl somewhere in the population?
I guess my overall main issue I can't drop is the limited exposure to girls in our lifetime. Social networks and programs exist to help bring us together with more people, except I would greatly prefer a setting such as school in getting to know girls. The important properties are no discretion in attendance, casual atmosphere, and common experience. This opportunity would at least greatly expand the field of potentials. Some people are only ready to start relationships after their school times but by then their opportunities have already diminished to a disappointing trickle. Going out to places like clubs or bars is definitely not a solution since the types of people there are inherently not the ones I would be attracted to.
I have additional girl issues, relating back to my overinflated self esteem. Though not cocky at all, I am secretly extremely elitist and think myself better than most anyone else. Despite some cosmetic facial problems, which in more recent times have greatly improved, I would describe myself as attractive, athletic, tall, fit, smart, serious, and dependable. It is given that different girls are attracted to different types of men. One requirement I ask for is someone who can appreciate my greatness. Any girl that has had previous relationships is not worthy for my companionship because their projection of an ideal partner was flawed and their mistake is not forgivable. I previously had a experience where the girl was obviously showing interest in me. Of course I did not actually say this to her, but this is what I thought, "I commend you for having good taste. But unfortunately for you, so do I."
Finally I need a girlfriend the sooner the better. My active imagination has determined that I can sustain a relationship with the proper girl to achieve a net positive happiness ratio, which shall remain positive over time. The earlier I can find one, the more overall happiness I can achieve. More importantly, however, is that the longer we wait, the more girls are committed to relationships, and our pool of potentials dwindles lower ever more.
 
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Stop analyzing shit so damn much, the world is much simpler than you think.
Stop making tl;dr blogs and leave your home. Enjoy yourself, man.
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Osaka27157 Posts
My active imagination has determined that I can sustain a relationship with the proper girl to achieve a net positive happiness ratio
lololol, if you haven't held a girl in your arms yet, I guarantee that your "happiness ratio" will go through the roof once you do, no matter who she is, what she looks like, or how well she is compatible with your greatness.
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net positive wat?
dude love isnt some science man.. its not some 2 fact timing push that u can pull off..
just talk to people. sometimes the girls just come to you :o
and yeah plz stop making love a science man
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Korea (South)17174 Posts
First of all, I'd just like to say that you're an idiot.
have additional girl issues, relating back to my overinflated self esteem. Though not cocky at all, I am secretly extremely elitist and think myself better than most anyone else.
This is what we call being insecure. Trying to overanalyze women and situations for meeting them and possible success is your own little defensive mechnism for rationalizing why you haven't gotten laid/had a gf yet. It is also probably the reason why you've had no relationships thus far and why you have this grim view on the possibilities on meeting women in life:
potentials that may or may not be successful pairing matches. How then do we choose the best one? Even in this sea, the opportunity to get to know someone you with high partnership potential is very limited. In life, perhaps the best time to get to meet girls is during school age, namely high school and college/university. Still that would limit you to the people you may meet during your daily routine. After you graduate and move into the workforce, your exposure is even more restricted. The prospects in a typical working life are rather dim.
Are you fucking joking me? Are you living inside of a cardboard box? The possibilities are endless and for you to have such a view means you've done a really bad job at socializing thus far in your life and haven't joined enough social circles nor have you develeped the skills to join new social circles. That or you live in an Amish community. Travel somewhere, join some fucking clubs, try new stuff. Limited exposure LOL...
I would describe myself as attractive, athletic, tall, fit, smart, serious, and dependable. Sure thats how you describe yourself but from the sounds of it you have some off sense of humor or awkwardness about you that scares women off.
I have no respect for couples that cheat or separate after a consentual marriage.
Why? It might happen to you one day. Feelings cannot be controlled. Sometimes you fall in love and then shit hits the fan. Incompatibilities previously unknown to eachother are discovered and it's usually due to one half of the relationship fucking up in multiple areas causing the other half to look elsewhere. You can't really blame people for this. We are human and it's common.
By locking oneself in this investment, they should be expected to remain with their partner for life, barring special circumstances. Me, being an old fashioned romantic, hold myself to the same standards. Thus the girl I am looking for cannot be a mere compromise for affection; I shall make a decisive commitment to my true love. This brings us to the ultimate question: how can I possibly devote so much into a target knowing I can achieve far greater returns from another girl somewhere in the population?
To even try and logically reason what decisions you'll make in the future that will be made primarily on emotion and circumstances is just pointless and retarded.
Its not that I actually need these comforts immediately, from just anyone. I would rather wait and for the right person to share these experiences with. In the meantime, it is cold and lonely to be void of personal contact. This is starting to sound like those Christian abstinence campaign testimonials. I can assure you I scoff at any religion, except I just happen to share those certain values.
I mean seriously just because your old acne problems have started to clear up thanks to age and/or medicine doesn't mean you're better than anyone. What the fuck are you waiting for. Get out there have fun and meet new people. Are you waiting for a victoria's secret model to come to your doorstep and fall in love with you?
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just get a little drunk and stop worrying about shit
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at least that's my solution to girl problems
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United States2330 Posts
Or you can just be normal.
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Korea (South)17174 Posts
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United States24753 Posts
Haha this guy analyzes stuff more than me.
"net positive happiness ratio"
Even I wouldn't come up with that term.
Also Rekrul to preface your first post with 'you are an idiot' is an idiotic thing to do! Idiot! (Putting it as an afterward isn't much better I guess)
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Are you an economics major?
Additionally, what the fuck is a net positive happiness ratio, and where can I get one?
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do you talk like tis in real life?
if so thats probably why you suck with girls
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United States3824 Posts
I turned 19 today! And I'm pretty elitist too. So much in common!
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Korea (South)17174 Posts
On February 25 2009 13:32 micronesia wrote:
Haha this guy analyzes stuff more than me.
"net positive happiness ratio"
Even I wouldn't come up with that term.
Also Rekrul to preface your first post with 'you are an idiot' is an idiotic thing to do! Idiot! (Putting it as an afterward isn't much better I guess)
I wouldn't have if he didn't write:
" Though not cocky at all, I am secretly extremely elitist and think myself better than most anyone else."
Idiot.
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You keep talking about finding the ideal girl. Great! We all strive for the perfect companion. What you don't realize, is how badly you're going to screw up when you finally meet her. You will have NO experience with women, and you'll lose her.
What I'm arguing is, that you need to go out and learn about women, in order to eventually attract a woman you want. Have fun doing this.
If any of what I said makes sense to you, please check out this book: The Mystery Method.
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On February 25 2009 14:09 HOMM3wogPrefer wrote:
What I'm arguing is, that you need to go out and learn about women, in order to eventually attract a woman you want. Have fun doing this.
That's an awfully long way to say "get a practice girl"
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Stop trying so hard to be a "brooding intellectual" already. Your long winded blogs could all be shortened to "I'm so troubled and deep". Get a sense of humor and some humility.
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On February 25 2009 14:34 anderoo wrote:Show nested quote +On February 25 2009 14:09 HOMM3wogPrefer wrote:
What I'm arguing is, that you need to go out and learn about women, in order to eventually attract a woman you want. Have fun doing this.
That's an awfully long way to say "get a practice girl"
Not one practice girl. MANY! It's like practicing for a basketball game. You have to do layup after layup, and run lap after lap. Also, you need to learn what a layup is, and why in what situation it's useful.
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EPT
