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I am so fucking pissed, I just wrote this entire thing out and accidentally clicked the Piano Man TLFE which erased my entire post. Which was well over 1500 words by that point.
FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKUFCKFUFKCUFKCUFKC
k so I will attempt to retype it.
Lately I have been attempting to become a better person, I usually do things without thinking and do what ever comes around the corner. Anyone who has taken a driving course knows that you cannot hesitate when you drive, and what is thinking twice if not hesitating?
So this is really bad for relationships since it means I will pretty much sex whatever and whoever I want becuase I just don't have any empathy for what others could be feeling. I have cheated on girls before just because the opportunity arose and didn't care that it ended.
Despite my assholish nature however, I am generally an exceptionally nice person. It's just I don't get attached and don't let the consequences of my actions bother me, even if those consequences hurt others. Now me and my girlfriend haven't seen eachother in a few weeks now becuase she got in a lot of trouble a few weeks ago for hanging out with me without telling her parents, so we went from having a lot of sex to me being try now, which pretty much sucks. However that's not really that big of a deal for me, I have gone longer than that without sex, I'm not an addict of some sort.
The thing is, I like this girl a lot becuase we have had a lot in common and generally how this situation arose. It's actually odd and it defies ladder theory. Before the summer I was going out with her best friend, they were closer than sisters since they live together. During that period me and Adrii became really good friends since we would talk all the time. When the summer started Monica (my ex) moved out and back in with her actual family. I still talked to Adrii as much but Monica became a bitch and we drifted a part. Me and Adrii ended up becoming more then friends and are going out now. Monica is not amused, however that is a story for another time.
The last 2 days I have been talking to some girl who I have have known for a while but have not hung out with in a long time. Today she asked me to hang out after talking to her like the last 2 days, so I agree, just me and her. This isn't really odd for me since I have a lot of girl friends for whatever reason, So hanging out with a girl just the 2 of us is not a big deal for me. We end up going to these cliffs that overlook a river which is a really nice view, it's actually considered a romantic setting; however I go there with friends all the time, but when it's 1on1 I think it must be alittle different. I'm just oblivious to shit like this though  !
So after that I ask her if she wants to go get ice cream, since she had driven I told her I would buy her ice cream, which isn't actually strange for me or romantic. If I'm hanging out with a friend of mine or someone I usually will buy them some food or something, it's just how I am. I realize I forgot my wallet though so I told her to stop at my house first where no one is home.
On our way back to my house I am telling her about my kickass TV and sound system in my room since I had just recently updated my room to be the most awesome home theatre ever (I brag and tell most about it a lot becuase I'm proud of it) pimp ass 32in tv, 5.1 system and a 600 watt receiver. pretty badass (although the receivers kind of weak, I don't believe it's outputting 600watts, maybe 120 max)
--- Side tracked.
So I invite her in to come check it out while I search for my wallet which I have misplaced because I'm a jackass. So shes up in my room listening to music and I can't find it, so I asked her if she just wanted to hang out at my house since I couldn't find my damn wallet. So we are in my room and I was showing her some movies I had and how I had watched The Bank Job and how it was basically porn for the first 10 minutes becuase of the amount of nudity in it. So she tells me to put it on becuase she likes sex and wants to see it.
Okay, so at this point I am starting to think something might be up, we had talked a lot about sex and I had told her how I was dating Adrii and how I liked her alot which I figured got the message across I didn't really want to do anything. So I put it on and we are watching it kind of and at this point I'm laying on my bed and shes sitting on the end of it and we are just kind of talking about sex, so it gets to a sex scene and I mention how I haven't had sex in a 2 weeks and miss it.
Pandoras box hath been opened my friends. I am an idiot. The following conversation ensued from this.
Girl: "So you want to have sex?"
Joe: "uh.... Adrii's in trouble I can't"
Girl: "Come on you know you want to, you just said you wanted to have sex. Do it"
Joe: *not looking at her* "I CANT DO IT"
girl: "Why not just do it, she doens't have to know"
At this point she starts moving towards me.
girl: "Come on we can even do it quick"
Joe: "I CANT ADRII WILL FIND OUT AND KILL ME, STOP."
girl: "We won't tell her."
she gets on top of me and goes to kiss me, since I'm smooth as all fuck, I turn to the side and cover my mouth, and I'm just like, "seriously, i don't want to I like Adrii I can't do it."
SHE STARTS TO UNBUTTON MY PANTS. at this point my fucking savior arrives, my dad had just come home and opens the door and shouts up the stairs to us.
dad: "Joe whose here?"
joe: "err, Alex"
dad: "MALE OR FEMALE?"
joe: "female"
dad: "get the fuck out of your room"
YES! MY DAD HAS SAVED ME FROM THIS SITUATION.
So the girl now known as Alex tells me how I am saved by my dad and to button my pants, so she walks downstaris and leaves. I proceed to walk over and thank my dad for saving me and told him what happened.
Overall I am proud of myself, I just passed up on sex with a girl who was admitadly not that attract but still, that's a damn fucking step for me. A year ago I would of fucked her and not even cared what happened, so here is progress for me!
Soul+1 baby. YEAH.
The next stories are going to be epicly more hilarous. Becuase I do A LOT of dumb shit which always results in insane and retarded stories.
dis shit can NAUGHT be made up.
+ Show Spoiler + Oh god, It almost just happened again, my internet died as I hit post message
 
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"thanks dad, you prevented me from having sex"
interesting
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I stared at this page for a couple minutes, but all I read was "Look at me and all these women who want to have sex with me".
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hey by the way did you get into MIT?
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5/5 waiting for next storeis
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Don't understand what's the difficulty. My double daily visits to redtube keeps me from having any interest in ever cheating my gf. Porn is the best loyalty tool for men. You should try it yourself!
btw if you lose your post by clicking a link you could just press alt-left instead of rewriting the whole stuff ^^
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Spenguin
Australia3316 Posts
you could have just backspaced -_-"
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Wow, those opening lines really describe me... it's scary actually.
"Lately I have been attempting to become a better person, I usually do things without thinking and do what ever comes around the corner"
Me too... impulsive XD!
*high fives*
"So this is really bad for relationships since it means I will pretty much sex whatever and whoever I want becuase I just don't have any empathy for what others could be feeling."
Me too... unfortunately ._.
"Despite my assholish nature however, I am generally an exceptionally nice person. It's just I don't get attached and don't let the consequences of my actions bother me, even if those consequences hurt others."
...are we brothers? XD!
Er, but, I believe cheating is the worst way of ending a relationship. People should just say it, "I'm tired of this relationship and hanging out with you all day and all this boring shit; I just want to fuck other people because you just piss me off with your presence and I don't even know why." Me and my girlfriend both agreed to just tell each other if we were going to cheat on each other so that it can end quick and fast, not be all painful and stuff when you find out 3 years later or something...
;_;
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a 32 inch TV is supposed to be "pimp ass" ?
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Think about it.
If you were a bad person you would have been mid-sex when your dad came in. God has your back.
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I don't see why you wouldn't respond very clearly and strongly if you really didn't want to sleep with her. If someone is aware that you don't want to do something, and is encouraging you to do so anyways, that person obviously doesn't respect your intentions.
I'd personally be angry and probably respond very strongly, if it was something like sex that we were talking about.
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Oh lol, Monkeyspanker 
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I'm sorry your such a desirable person.
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nice story, would read others too
how old are you?
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Lol your dad is hardcore man!
"Male or Female"
"Get the fuck out of your room!"
:o
Wait, mslegend! Is this joe!?!?
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On October 01 2008 14:18 mSLeGenD wrote:SHE STARTS TO UNBUTTON MY PANTS. at this point my fucking  sAviOr arrives, my dad had just come home and opens the door and shouts up the stairs to us.
Savior love *thumbs up*
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dad: "Joe whose here?"
joe: "err, Alex"
dad: "MALE OR FEMALE?"
joe: "female"
dad: "get the fuck out of your room"
hey plz explain why ur dad wants you to come out?
He doesn't want you to have sex????
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Wait are you expecting anyone to congratulate you on not cheating?
lol
So why did your dad tell you guys to stop what helllllll kind of dad is he.
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Netherlands19140 Posts
Despite my assholish nature however, I am generally an exceptionally nice person. It's just I don't get attached and don't let the consequences of my actions bother me, even if those consequences hurt others.
LuLz
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wait you even asked her to come over and kept hinting at sex
lol
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Fuck yeah, sAviOr always helping ppl
dont u love this guy?
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On October 01 2008 23:33 Ki_Do wrote:Fuck yeah, sAviOr always helping ppl dont u love this guy?
lol... there is still hope for humanity with guys like him still around...
congratz for NOT cheating... keep it that way ; ).
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On October 01 2008 23:18 Frits wrote:
wait you even asked her to come over and kept hinting at sex
lol
That's exactly what I was thinking. If you start to openly talk about sex and the girl likes you that's an invitation. Most guys aren't open enough to mean it any other way.
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Well this seems kinda retarded.
We talk about sex, I take her home, we still talk about sex, we watch sex on tv. And still I don't wanna have sex with her. No wait, she unbuttons my pants. AAAAAAARRRGHHH! Can't... Make... Her... Stop!!! This!! omg omg she is gonna pull my dick out!
And then dad comes and so on.
Ok, are you crippled or something? I mean do you have hands? When a girl unbuttons you and you don't want it can't you just grab her hands and tell her to stop. Like CLEARLY tell her to stop!
You don't seem a bad person to me from all of this. Utterly irresponsible sure but not bad. And maybe you're 16 years old. Or even less...
Btw, if I tell a girl all those sex hints and she is interested and in my room dude... I push all in and fuck dad and whoever comes around. He can see me naked pounding that hole.
Something is missing in that story and it really seems made up...
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Wow, you didn't cheat on your gf, but only cause your dad walked in. You're a fucking saint, dude.
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Wow this thread makes me feel better about myself.
But anyways the effort is appreciated. It takes guts to write such threads.
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On October 01 2008 23:03 Frits wrote:
Wait are you expecting anyone to congratulate you on not cheating?
lol
So why did your dad tell you guys to stop what helllllll kind of dad is he. Reminds me of Chris Rock.
"... always want credit for something they supposed to do! What you want? A cookie?"
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god if i ever come home and a girl is in his room alone i'll probably tell him well done or ask him if he needs a rubber
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So I'm guessing you just spanked your monkey later that night, amirite?
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On October 02 2008 01:53 ShaLLoW[baY] wrote:
So I'm guessing you just spanked your monkey later that night, amirite?
Lily Thai has done me well.
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Despite my assholish nature however, I am generally an exceptionally nice person. It's just I don't get attached and don't let the consequences of my actions bother me, even if those consequences hurt others.
its easy to not let the consequences of your actions bother you when your actions dont have any direct effect on you, you retard.
also you know you wanted that shit and if your dad didnt come home and lay the law down you wouldve 100% cheated on your gf that you 'like'.
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On October 01 2008 14:18 mSLeGenD wrote:I am so fucking pissed, I just wrote this entire thing out and accidentally clicked the  PianO Man TLFE which erased my entire post. Which was well over 1500 words by that point. FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKUFCKFUFKCUFKCUFKC k so I will attempt to retype it. Lately I have been attempting to become a better person, I usually do things without thinking and do what ever comes around the corner. Anyone who has taken a driving course knows that you cannot hesitate when you drive, and what is thinking twice if not hesitating? So this is really bad for relationships since it means I will pretty much sex whatever and whoever I want becuase I just don't have any empathy for what others could be feeling. I have cheated on girls before just because the opportunity arose and didn't care that it ended. Despite my assholish nature however, I am generally an exceptionally nice person. It's just I don't get attached and don't let the consequences of my actions bother me, even if those consequences hurt others. Now me and my girlfriend haven't seen eachother in a few weeks now becuase she got in a lot of trouble a few weeks ago for hanging out with me without telling her parents, so we went from having a lot of sex to me being try now, which pretty much sucks. However that's not really that big of a deal for me, I have gone longer than that without sex, I'm not an addict of some sort. The thing is, I like this girl a lot becuase we have had a lot in common and generally how this situation arose. It's actually odd and it defies ladder theory. Before the summer I was going out with her best friend, they were closer than sisters since they live together. During that period me and Adrii became really good friends since we would talk all the time. When the summer started Monica (my Ex) moved out and back in with her actual family. I still talked to Adrii as much but Monica became a bitch and we drifted a part. Me and Adrii ended up becoming more then friends and are going out now. Monica is not amused, however that is a story for another time. The last 2 days I have been talking to some girl who I have have known for a while but have not hung out with in a long time. Today she asked me to hang out after talking to her like the last 2 days, so I agree, just me and her. This isn't really odd for me since I have a lot of girl friends for whatever Reason, So hanging out with a girl just the 2 of us is not a big deal for me. We end up going to these cliffs that overlook a river which is a really nice view, it's actually considered a romantic setting; however I go there with friends all the time, but when it's 1on1 I think it must be alittle different. I'm just oblivious to shit like this though ! So after that I ask her if she wants to go get ice cream, since she had driven I told her I would buy her ice cream, which isn't actually strange for me or romantic. If I'm hanging out with a friend of mine or someone I usually will buy them some food or something, it's just how I am. I realize I forgot my wallet though so I told her to stop at my house first Where no one is home. On our way back to my house I am telling her about my kickass TV and sound system in my room since I had just recently updated my room to be the most awesome home theatre ever (I brag and tell most about it a lot becuase I'm proud of it) pimp ass 32in tv, 5.1 system and a 600 watt receiver. pretty badass (although the receivers kind of weak, I don't believe it's outputting 600watts, maybe 120 Max) --- Side tracked. So I invite her in to come check it out while I search for my wallet which I have misplaced because I'm a jackass. So shes up in my room listening to music and I can't find it, so I asked her if she just wanted to hang out at my house since I couldn't find my damn wallet. So we are in my room and I was showing her some movies I had and how I had watched The Bank Job and how it was basically porn for the first 10 minutes becuase of the amount of nudity in it. So she tells me to put it on becuase she likes sex and wants to see it. Okay, so at this point I am starting to think something might be up, we had talked a lot about sex and I had told her how I was dating Adrii and how I liked her alot which I figured got the message across I didn't really want to do anything. So I put it on and we are watching it kind of and at this point I'm laying on my bed and shes sitting on the end of it and we are just kind of talking about sex, so it gets to a sex scene and I mention how I haven't had sex in a 2 weeks and miss it. Pandoras box hath been opened my friends. I am an idiot. The following conversation ensued from this. Girl: "So you want to have sex?" Joe: "uh.... Adrii's in trouble I can't" Girl: "Come on you know you want to, you just said you wanted to have sex. Do it" Joe: *not looking at her* "I CANT DO IT" girl: "Why not just do it, she doens't have to know" At this point she starts moving towards me. girl: "Come on we can even do it quick" Joe: "I CANT ADRII WILL FIND OUT AND KILL ME, STOP." girl: "We won't tell her." she gets on top of me and goes to kiss me, since I'm smooth as all fuck, I turn to the side and cover my mouth, and I'm just like, "seriously, i don't want to I like Adrii I can't do it." SHE STARTS TO UNBUTTON MY PANTS. at this point my fucking sAviOr arrives, my dad had just come home and opens the door and shouts up the stairs to us. dad: "Joe whose here?" joe: "err, Alex" dad: "MALE OR FEMALE?" joe: "female" dad: "get the fuck out of your room" YES! MY DAD HAS SAVED ME FROM THIS SITUATION. So the girl now known as Alex tells me how I am saved by my dad and to button my pants, so she walks downstaris and leaves. I proceed to walk over and thank my dad for saving me and told him what happened. Overall I am proud of myself, I just passed up on sex with a girl who was admitadly not that attract but still, that's a damn fucking step for me. A year ago I would of fucked her and not even cared what happened, so here is progress for me! SouL+1 BaBy. YEAH. The next stories are going to be epicly more hilarous. Becuase I do A LOT of dumb shit which always results in insane and retarded stories. dis shit can NAUGHT be made up. + Show Spoiler + Oh god, It almost just happened again, my internet died as I hit post message
This post needs more TLPD
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Your blogs are weird as fuck.
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lol wtf
i hope this is monkeyspanker his blogs are generally awesome, and this one is.+ Show Spoiler +shouldn't of been banned imo
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United States47024 Posts
On October 02 2008 05:14 d(O.o)a wrote:
This post needs more TLPD
You forgot about SouL in the thread title.
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Calgary25998 Posts
On October 02 2008 05:14 d(O.o)a wrote:Show nested quote +On October 01 2008 14:18 mSLeGenD wrote:I am so fucking pissed, I just wrote this entire thing out and accidentally clicked the PianO Man TLFE which erased my entire post. Which was well over 1500 words by that point. FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKUFCKFUFKCUFKCUFKC k so I will attempt to retype it. Lately I have been attempting to become a better person, I usually do things without thinking and do what ever comes around the corner. Anyone who has taken a driving course knows that you cannot hesitate when you drive, and what is thinking twice if not hesitating? So this is really bad for relationships since it means I will pretty much sex whatever and whoever I want becuase I just don't have any empathy for what others could be feeling. I have cheated on girls before just because the opportunity arose and didn't care that it ended. Despite my assholish nature however, I am generally an exceptionally nice person. It's just I don't get attached and don't let the consequences of my actions bother me, even if those consequences hurt others. Now me and my girlfriend haven't seen eachother in a few weeks now becuase she got in a lot of trouble a few weeks ago for hanging out with me without telling her parents, so we went from having a lot of sex to me being try now, which pretty much sucks. However that's not really that big of a deal for me, I have gone longer than that without sex, I'm not an addict of some sort. The thing is, I like this girl a lot becuase we have had a lot in common and generally how this situation arose. It's actually odd and it defies ladder theory. Before the summer I was going out with her best friend, they were closer than sisters since they live together. During that period me and Adrii became really good friends since we would talk all the time. When the summer started Monica (my  Ex) moved out and back in with her actual family. I still talked to Adrii as much but Monica became a bitch and we drifted a part. Me and Adrii ended up becoming more then friends and are going out now. Monica is not amused, however that is a story for another time. The last 2 days I have been talking to some girl who I have have known for a while but have not hung out with in a long time. Today she asked me to hang out after talking to her like the last 2 days, so I agree, just me and her. This isn't really odd for me since I have a lot of girl friends for whatever  Reason, So hanging out with a girl just the 2 of us is not a big deal for me. We end up going to these cliffs that overlook a river which is a really nice view, it's actually considered a romantic setting; however I go there with friends all the time, but when it's 1on1 I think it must be alittle different. I'm just oblivious to shit like this though ! So after that I ask her if she wants to go get ice cream, since she had driven I told her I would buy her ice cream, which isn't actually strange for me or romantic. If I'm hanging out with a friend of mine or someone I usually will buy them some food or something, it's just how I am. I realize I forgot my wallet though so I told her to stop at my house first Where no one is home. On our way back to my house I am telling her about my kickass TV and sound system in my room since I had just recently updated my room to be the most awesome home theatre ever (I brag and tell most about it a lot becuase I'm proud of it) pimp ass 32in tv, 5.1 system and a 600 watt receiver. pretty badass (although the receivers kind of weak, I don't believe it's outputting 600watts, maybe 120 Max) --- Side tracked. So I invite her in to come check it out while I search for my wallet which I have misplaced because I'm a jackass. So shes up in my room listening to music and I can't find it, so I asked her if she just wanted to hang out at my house since I couldn't find my damn wallet. So we are in my room and I was showing her some movies I had and how I had watched The Bank Job and how it was basically porn for the first 10 minutes becuase of the amount of nudity in it. So she tells me to put it on becuase she likes sex and wants to see it. Okay, so at this point I am starting to think something might be up, we had talked a lot about sex and I had told her how I was dating Adrii and how I liked her alot which I figured got the message across I didn't really want to do anything. So I put it on and we are watching it kind of and at this point I'm laying on my bed and shes sitting on the end of it and we are just kind of talking about sex, so it gets to a sex scene and I mention how I haven't had sex in a 2 weeks and miss it. Pandoras box hath been opened my friends. I am an idiot. The following conversation ensued from this. Girl: "So you want to have sex?" Joe: "uh.... Adrii's in trouble I can't" Girl: "Come on you know you want to, you just said you wanted to have sex. Do it" Joe: *not looking at her* "I CANT DO IT" girl: "Why not just do it, she doens't have to know" At this point she starts moving towards me. girl: "Come on we can even do it quick" Joe: "I CANT ADRII WILL FIND OUT AND KILL ME, STOP." girl: "We won't tell her." she gets on top of me and goes to kiss me, since I'm smooth as all fuck, I turn to the side and cover my mouth, and I'm just like, "seriously, i don't want to I like Adrii I can't do it." SHE STARTS TO UNBUTTON MY PANTS. at this point my fucking sAviOr arrives, my dad had just come home and opens the door and shouts up the stairs to us. dad: "Joe whose here?" joe: "err, Alex" dad: "MALE OR FEMALE?" joe: "female" dad: "get the fuck out of your room" YES! MY DAD HAS SAVED ME FROM THIS SITUATION. So the girl now known as Alex tells me how I am saved by my dad and to button my pants, so she walks downstaris and leaves. I proceed to walk over and thank my dad for saving me and told him what happened. Overall I am proud of myself, I just passed up on sex with a girl who was admitadly not that attract but still, that's a damn fucking step for me. A year ago I would of fucked her and not even cared what happened, so here is progress for me! SouL+1 BaBy. YEAH. The next stories are going to be epicly more hilarous. Becuase I do A LOT of dumb shit which always results in insane and retarded stories. dis shit can NAUGHT be made up. + Show Spoiler + Oh god, It almost just happened again, my internet died as I hit post message This post needs more TLPD
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if you really wanted to NOT cheat on your GF, you should'nt have talk about sex for an hour and take her to your room lol. don't tell me you didn't realise she likes you.
I mean, when there's a girl on top of you, kissing and unbutonning your pants, it's too late to refuse sex for most of guys, personnally, I'll be too horny to stop her. knowing that, you should maybe not talk about sex BEFORE.
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"Whoa pops, good thing you came home, I was about to fuck this girl, good call huh?"
"High five son!"
*hive five*
"Alright, I am going to go rub one out..."
"haha, alright sport!"
Awesome.
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Same thing happened to me except Ronald McDonald came in and told us to stop.
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United States24777 Posts
On October 02 2008 11:15 Insane Lane wrote:
Same thing happened to me except Ronald McDonald came in and told us to stop.
hahahah can't stop laughing
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On October 02 2008 11:20 micronesia wrote:Show nested quote +On October 02 2008 11:15 Insane Lane wrote:
Same thing happened to me except Ronald McDonald came in and told us to stop. hahahah can't stop laughing
can't tell if this is a joke.
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United States24777 Posts
On October 02 2008 11:22 YanGpaN wrote:Show nested quote +On October 02 2008 11:20 micronesia wrote:On October 02 2008 11:15 Insane Lane wrote:
Same thing happened to me except Ronald McDonald came in and told us to stop. hahahah can't stop laughing can't tell if this is a joke.
I don't even know why but I seriously cracked up laughing.
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Hah. Entertaining.
+ Show Spoiler +I actually nearly stopped reading at the beginning because it really bored me but I somehow kept on anyway and the tension slowly crept into the words and BAM! It became interesting.
+ Show Spoiler +Also, lol @ Salv and Insane Lane.
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On October 01 2008 17:05 OmgIRok wrote:
a 32 inch TV is supposed to be "pimp ass" ?
if its in ur own room i guess it could be
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EPT
