yay i got a response from the lhc guys

Dear Mr. Edwards:

My idea for a new name for the LHC is the Colliding Regulating Analyzer for Proton-Proton Emissions, or CRAPPE. Not only does it distinguish all of the separate actions of the LHC, namely, the regulating of collisions, the analysis of certain object of interest, and of course the proton beam collosions, but it also is much easier to pronounce than LHC. Whereas LHC requires three widely
different syllables for the typical English speaker, CRAPPE requires a mere two, thus saving 33% of the time to be used for further discussion of the wonders of sub-atomic physics.

Another advantage of the name is it is carefully designed to avoid any of the absurd sexual innuendo that is brought on by a common misspelling of the word "hadron," as many people spell it "hardon," thus absolutely befuddling the typical layman. This particular acronym not only has
relatively simple words that layman can understand, and if misspelled will be extraordinarily difficult to transmute into such sexually lewd language.

The original idea was the slightly smaller acronym CRAPE. It has one syllable and 17% less lettering, but the disadvantage of this acronym is that it sounds utterly like a French dish and would lead to further confusion. CRAPPE takes care of this mixture with delicious pancakes
with the completely different pronounciation.

Alternatively, one may use Proton Emission Watcher, or PEW, as an acronym, as well as Grand 2-proton Galvanizer, or G2G.

Best wishes from a site of another potentially apocalyptic experiment,
***** ********

*******,

Many thanks indeed for your eloquent pitch. My "Unread Email" count was
in four figures yesterday morning, so only the entertaining entries have
kept me sane.

Best wishes, Jon