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[H] A better sentence starter...

Blogs > Spenguin
Post a Reply
Spenguin
Profile Blog Joined November 2007
Australia3316 Posts
Last Edited: 2008-06-08 04:17:53
June 08 2008 04:16 GMT
#1
Atticus is the main teacher of moral education to Scout, this is one example of his teachings and is used by Scout near the end of the novel on page 307 where Scout is “viewing” the events of Maycomb through Arthur “Boo” Radley’s eyes and understanding Boo’s ways of living. From this same lesson on page 57 of the novel Scout shows great respect and admiration for her father Atticus:

I need help with whats in red. I can't think of a better sentence starter going over my essay

< TeamLiquid CJ Entusman #46 > I came for the Brood War, I stayed for the people.
il0seonpurpose
Profile Blog Joined January 2007
Korea (South)5638 Posts
June 08 2008 04:24 GMT
#2
Is this about to kill a mockingbird?
Jonoman92
Profile Blog Joined September 2006
United States9103 Posts
Last Edited: 2008-06-08 04:30:01
June 08 2008 04:27 GMT
#3
yes obv

Perhaps you could say something like. On page 57 Scout (shows, exhibits) this learning...

Also, where you have your first comma that should be a period. Thats a blatant comma splice/run-on.
Spenguin
Profile Blog Joined November 2007
Australia3316 Posts
June 08 2008 04:35 GMT
#4
Thanks guys!!
< TeamLiquid CJ Entusman #46 > I came for the Brood War, I stayed for the people.
fusionsdf
Profile Blog Joined June 2006
Canada15390 Posts
June 08 2008 04:41 GMT
#5
just omit from

its a useless word in this sentence
SKT_Best: "I actually chose Protoss because it was so hard for me to defeat Protoss as a Terran. When I first started Brood War, my main race was Terran."
fusionsdf
Profile Blog Joined June 2006
Canada15390 Posts
June 08 2008 05:01 GMT
#6
On June 08 2008 13:16 Spenguin wrote:
Atticus is the main teacher of moral education to Scout, this is one example of his teachings and is used by Scout near the end of the novel on page 307 where Scout is “viewing” the events of Maycomb through Arthur “Boo” Radley’s eyes and understanding Boo’s ways of living. From this same lesson on page 57 of the novel Scout shows great respect and admiration for her father Atticus:

I need help with whats in red. I can't think of a better sentence starter going over my essay

also your first sentence is awkward

Atticus is the main teacher of moral education to Scout,

This is fine. Every word is necessary (main might be a little extraneous) and the subject is clear.

this is one example of his teachings and is used by Scout near the end of the novel on page 307 where Scout is “viewing” the events of Maycomb through Arthur “Boo” Radley’s eyes and understanding Boo’s ways of living.

"this" is the subject. What does it refer to? You've basically switched subjects in the middle of a sentence, and it isn't really clear what the new subject is.

better would be:

Atticus is the main teacher of moral education to Scout. By teaching Scout to see the events of Maycomb through Arthur “Boo” Radley’s, he gives her a strong moral foundation and teaches her to empathize and fight for others (page 307). Scout shows great respect and admiration for her father Atticus (pg 57) because of this.

its still not perfect, but it doesn't feel like a run-on sentence, the subjects are clear, its not too wordy and the sentences fit with each other.
SKT_Best: "I actually chose Protoss because it was so hard for me to defeat Protoss as a Terran. When I first started Brood War, my main race was Terran."
FragKrag
Profile Blog Joined September 2007
United States11552 Posts
Last Edited: 2008-06-08 05:28:57
June 08 2008 05:22 GMT
#7
TKAM was a great book =o

If you're using MLA format, you want (author last name #)

Atticus is the main teacher of moral education to Scout, this is one example of his teachings and is used by Scout near the end of the novel on page 307 where Scout is “viewing” the events of Maycomb through Arthur “Boo” Radley’s eyes and understanding Boo’s ways of living. From this same lesson on page 57 of the novel Scout shows great respect and admiration for her father Atticus:


Atticus is the main teacher of moral eduction to Scout. One example of Atticus's teachings is near the end of the novel, where Scout is "viewing" the events of Maycomb through Boo's eyes, and understanding Boo's way of living (Lee 307). Due to his lessons, Scout shows great respect and admiration for Atticus (Lee 57).
*TL CJ Entusman #40* "like scissors does anything to paper except MAKE IT MORE NUMEROUS" -paper
fusionsdf
Profile Blog Joined June 2006
Canada15390 Posts
June 08 2008 05:24 GMT
#8
If your only using one work though, I think you only need to go (last name #) the first time. After that you can go (#)
SKT_Best: "I actually chose Protoss because it was so hard for me to defeat Protoss as a Terran. When I first started Brood War, my main race was Terran."
FragKrag
Profile Blog Joined September 2007
United States11552 Posts
June 08 2008 05:29 GMT
#9
I always did it anyways. Better be safe than sorry.
*TL CJ Entusman #40* "like scissors does anything to paper except MAKE IT MORE NUMEROUS" -paper
ScarFace
Profile Blog Joined March 2008
United States1175 Posts
June 08 2008 05:39 GMT
#10
On June 08 2008 13:16 Spenguin wrote:
Atticus is the main teacher of moral education to Scout, this is one example of his teachings and is used by Scout near the end of the novel on page 307 where Scout is “viewing” the events of Maycomb through Arthur “Boo” Radley’s eyes and understanding Boo’s ways of living. From this same lesson on page 57 of the novel Scout shows great respect and admiration for her father Atticus:

I need help with whats in red. I can't think of a better sentence starter going over my essay
That book is a piece of shit. Throw it at your teachers face.
Can you dig it?
Wizard
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
Poland5055 Posts
June 08 2008 05:41 GMT
#11
On June 08 2008 14:39 ScarFace wrote:
Show nested quote +
On June 08 2008 13:16 Spenguin wrote:
Atticus is the main teacher of moral education to Scout, this is one example of his teachings and is used by Scout near the end of the novel on page 307 where Scout is “viewing” the events of Maycomb through Arthur “Boo” Radley’s eyes and understanding Boo’s ways of living. From this same lesson on page 57 of the novel Scout shows great respect and admiration for her father Atticus:

I need help with whats in red. I can't think of a better sentence starter going over my essay
That book is a piece of shit. Throw it at your teachers face.

It's a great book, what are you talking about.
sAviOr[gm] ~ want to watch good replays? read my blog: http://www.teamliquid.net/blog/wizard
GeneralStan
Profile Blog Joined August 2007
United States4789 Posts
June 08 2008 05:44 GMT
#12
On June 08 2008 13:16 Spenguin wrote:
Atticus is the main teacher of moral education to Scout, this is one example of his teachings and is used by Scout near the end of the novel on page 307 where Scout is “viewing” the events of Maycomb through Arthur “Boo” Radley’s eyes and understanding Boo’s ways of living. From this same lesson on page 57 of the novel Scout shows great respect and admiration for her father Atticus:

I need help with whats in red. I can't think of a better sentence starter going over my essay


Most of Scout's moral education comes from Atticus, for instance near the end (page 307) where Scout views the events of Maycomb through the eyes of Arthur "Boo" Radley. Scout is able to understand Boo's way of living, and similar to earlier (page 57) shows great respect and admiration for her father Atticus.

I think I kind of missed the point. I was trying to recreate a flow to the whole of the paragraph, but the abrupt shift from page 307 to 57 is hard to flow smoothly. I also used the page numbers in parenthesis because it strikes me as such a noobish thing to do to refer nakedly to the page numbers.

Maybe I'm thinking too much
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
fusionsdf
Profile Blog Joined June 2006
Canada15390 Posts
June 08 2008 05:52 GMT
#13
On June 08 2008 14:44 GeneralStan wrote:
Show nested quote +
On June 08 2008 13:16 Spenguin wrote:
Atticus is the main teacher of moral education to Scout, this is one example of his teachings and is used by Scout near the end of the novel on page 307 where Scout is “viewing” the events of Maycomb through Arthur “Boo” Radley’s eyes and understanding Boo’s ways of living. From this same lesson on page 57 of the novel Scout shows great respect and admiration for her father Atticus:

I need help with whats in red. I can't think of a better sentence starter going over my essay


Most of Scout's moral education comes from Atticus, for instance near the end (page 307) where Scout views the events of Maycomb through the eyes of Arthur "Boo" Radley. Scout is able to understand Boo's way of living, and similar to earlier (page 57) shows great respect and admiration for her father Atticus.

I think I kind of missed the point. I was trying to recreate a flow to the whole of the paragraph, but the abrupt shift from page 307 to 57 is hard to flow smoothly. I also used the page numbers in parenthesis because it strikes me as such a noobish thing to do to refer nakedly to the page numbers.

Maybe I'm thinking too much


yeah I noticed the same thing

it changes subjects abruptly which makes it very hard to interpret
SKT_Best: "I actually chose Protoss because it was so hard for me to defeat Protoss as a Terran. When I first started Brood War, my main race was Terran."
thedeadhaji *
Profile Blog Joined January 2006
39489 Posts
June 08 2008 06:04 GMT
#14
you need better punctionation too, it's really hard to follow the sentence flow
HeavOnEarth
Profile Blog Joined March 2008
United States7087 Posts
June 08 2008 06:05 GMT
#15
ahh dont look at me i barely passed ap english
+ Show Spoiler +
exam made a 3
"come korea next time... FXO house... 10 korean, 10 korean"
LxRogue
Profile Blog Joined March 2007
United States1415 Posts
June 08 2008 06:07 GMT
#16
"Scout also shows understanding of this lesson on page 57 through respect and admiration of her father, Atticus"
Muirhead
Profile Blog Joined October 2007
United States556 Posts
Last Edited: 2008-06-08 07:12:13
June 08 2008 07:06 GMT
#17
I would write:
Atticus serves as the primary guiding influence for Scout and her developing morals. As early as page 57 we are told of Scout's great admiration for her father, and so we comprehend her desire to understand and imitate his ideals. One can see Scout use his teachings near the end of the novel on page 307, when she views the events of Maycomb through Arthur “Boo” Radley’s eyes. Only after Atticus urges Scout to imagine herself as Boo does she begin to understand Boo’s ways of living.

If you have other examples you should stick them between the page 57 and page 307 sentences, as there is a bit of a jump there.
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