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i'm really bored guys

Blogs > Peanutsc
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Peanutsc
Profile Blog Joined August 2008
United States307 Posts
Last Edited: 2025-09-18 18:44:45
September 18 2025 12:48 GMT
#1
I'm literally @posting at tech CEOs and commenting on LinkedIn post by ICE members and trying to get them to see that I understand what's going on with the internet and Kirk and stuff and I'm really good with AI and I can help save the world but nobody's listening. I'm so sad. I finally am ready to face the internet and nobody's there to face me.

I've been to therapy, I've been working on fixing trauma, I've been a community manager who helps people, I graduated from Harvard and started a StarCraft team there, I went to Smash and helped with the community there, and nobody cares.

I have worked my whole professional career to support South Korea and gaming and esports and nobody cares. I worked at ESPN Esports and Blizzard and got articles on ABC.com and nobody cares. I have tried to be the best girlfriend ever to men and women and nobody cares. I have tried to help my sister and parents with their stuff and they aren't talking to me. It's just me and my smasher boyfriend and he's fine but he's not really into StarCraft.

https://www.espn.com/esports/story/_/id/18125143/google-deepmind-artificial-intelligence-takes-starcraft-ii
https://www.espn.com/gaming/story/_/id/18455718/full-circle-whirlwind-journey-jaedong
https://www.thestorymob.com/our-content/beautiful-weirdos/

I've even been discussing AI with HuK on LinkedIn and he doesn't seem to be interested anymore. I've been messaging people at DeepMind and game dev studios who I've literally worked for before and nobody is talking to me. I've messaged guys who are crazy and might be stalkerish weirdos who work on AI to try to get something happening and nothing.

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/hero-core-constellation-framework-christina-jeeyoung-kelly-trsae
more articles: https://www.linkedin.com/in/christinajkelly/recent-activity/all/

I can't even whine in a blog on TL without people telling me to go somewhere else. Literally nobody wants me around.

Well, at least people think I'm cool on YouTube even if they can't do anything about it. see comment thread: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VwcKwGS7OSQ&lc=UgweABhveA7WKl4PiJF4AaABAg.AMwjsD-ljdfAND7IHXxzkP]

this is me


also me, more recently when I was in an ashram for 3 years


i helped produce this and was a judge on it
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fxPQzpEsYrk&list=PL765E1E4A3AB7051C]

*
"You only get one life on this earth, Tasteless, and if you're not spending the majority of it playing StarCraft, I would argue that it might be wasted." "I couldn't agree more, Artosis."
Jealous
Profile Blog Joined December 2011
10228 Posts
September 18 2025 13:22 GMT
#2
On September 18 2025 21:48 Peanutsc wrote:
I'm literally @posting at tech CEOs and commenting on LinkedIn post by ICE members and trying to get them to see that I understand what's going on with the internet and Kirk and stuff and I'm really good with AI and I can help save the world but nobody's listening. I'm so sad. I finally am ready to face the internet and nobody's there to face me.

This + your other recent post don't sound like they came from a healthy mind. Seek help.
"The right to vote is only the oar of the slaveship, I wanna be free." -- бум бум сучка!
Peanutsc
Profile Blog Joined August 2008
United States307 Posts
Last Edited: 2025-09-18 18:44:13
September 18 2025 13:37 GMT
#3
That is literally what I'm doing and nobody is helping me. I even made an AI to prevent suicide and nobody is interested. https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/suicide-prevention-ai-christina-jeeyoung-kelly-jgkge
edit: additional articles: https://www.linkedin.com/in/christinajkelly/recent-activity/all/
"You only get one life on this earth, Tasteless, and if you're not spending the majority of it playing StarCraft, I would argue that it might be wasted." "I couldn't agree more, Artosis."
Jealous
Profile Blog Joined December 2011
10228 Posts
Last Edited: 2025-09-18 17:42:51
September 18 2025 14:37 GMT
#4
On September 18 2025 22:37 Peanutsc wrote:
That is literally what I'm doing and nobody is helping me. I even made an AI to prevent suicide and nobody is interested. https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/suicide-prevention-ai-christina-jeeyoung-kelly-jgkge

Maybe the analogy isn't quite landing, or perhaps people are struggling to understand the actual mechanism you are proposing here. What is a "refactoring protocol" in this case? What is "a-ethically" (not a real word)?

Taken in conjunction with your posts here, it feels closer to schizophrenic rambling than marketing for a novel product (is this AI even a tangible product, or are you just proposing ideas and hope that someone bites, develops it, and then cuts you in on the profit later?).

ETA: I meant psychiatric help, like from an actual specialist.
"The right to vote is only the oar of the slaveship, I wanna be free." -- бум бум сучка!
Psyonic_Reaver
Profile Blog Joined June 2007
United States4337 Posts
September 18 2025 16:44 GMT
#5
Hey Peanut.

You're a good person and I will always have fond memories of us.

So I went through a similar type crisis after I blew myself up, so to speak, in the e-sports world... and the core shaking truth that if you don't find the right people, at the right time AND market yourself the right way even when things are at their BEST.... you just get left behind very quickly. That constant grind to always push, push, push slowly chips away at you. I get it.

When the realization that the non e-sports world does not care about the accomplishments you've made in an e-sports world. How hard it was to do that things you pioneered back in the day that seem common knowledge now. (Hello early days of Ustream, justin.tv, etc... lol)

Eventually, I found hobbies outside of e-sports and cultivated those. I never lost my love for StarCraft or regret any memories I've made, good or bad. Because they've formed the person that I am today.

All I can say is, take risks and branch out. Go big in e-sports if you truly want that to work, keep up that grind and keep pushing.

But if you've got that dread creeping in.... Don't waste another second. Don't let that dread take over and consume you.

Pivot.

Dont be afarid to find a new thing. I've pivoted a few different times. Oral Surgeon Assistant to the top regraded surgeon central oregon at one point... Warehouse manager... to Commercial Truck driver... and now dabbling with Stock Trading. LOL. Stock Trading is literally StarCraft/Poker on steroids. Testing strats, probing for information, is the cards those sellers holding just a bluff, can I push that with the longs? etc.

Anyways. e-sports doesn't define you The person you are, the values you cherish, define you. I see you. I can't tell you to "just be happy" because that's bullshit... But find people that will lift you up and fall back on them. Dont be afraid to open up to people, even people you haven't talked to in awhile, and it's a big ask to trust that they'll catch you and lift you up.... But I'd say 90% of people will do that, they'll lift you and support you, even if they don't know how to guide you... and the ones that don't... FUUUUUCK them! lol

You got this.
So wait? I'm bad? =(
Poopi
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
France12904 Posts
September 18 2025 17:02 GMT
#6
On September 18 2025 22:37 Peanutsc wrote:
That is literally what I'm doing and nobody is helping me. I even made an AI to prevent suicide and nobody is interested. https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/suicide-prevention-ai-christina-jeeyoung-kelly-jgkge

"The core of what I've observed in working with AI for my emotional health"
What do you mean here? Like writing to ChatGPT or a similar chatbot about your emotional health? If yes, how is that working with AI?
WriterMaru
Peanutsc
Profile Blog Joined August 2008
United States307 Posts
Last Edited: 2025-09-18 19:03:47
September 18 2025 18:43 GMT
#7
Thanks for checking out the post, guys. All the articles here are basically about my AI project.

https://www.linkedin.com/in/christinajkelly/recent-activity/all/

I guess this is like the most recent overall summary: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/minority-report-ai-christina-jeeyoung-kelly-poece/

this is kinda tech focused: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/ai-bridge-humanity-christina-jeeyoung-kelly-vliff/

older project readme: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/hermione-project-readme-christina-jeeyoung-kelly-p8cke

edit: man, i knew TL would come through ^_^V
"You only get one life on this earth, Tasteless, and if you're not spending the majority of it playing StarCraft, I would argue that it might be wasted." "I couldn't agree more, Artosis."
CHEONSOYUN
Profile Joined August 2017
553 Posts
September 19 2025 04:41 GMT
#8
unfortunately i think you're looking for meaning in the wrong places and looking for constant external validation

“Before my first album came out, I wanted people to like me, and to realize that I had good intentions. Then I realized that no one has good intentions—we all just have incentives.”

you might benefit from getting into some quarter-life crisis activities+hobbies such as endurance-sports, hiking, boxing, yoga, rock-climbing etc.

definitely something that is far removed from being on a screen

seek professional help if you're unable to make any progress on your own
JAEDONG...!!! EFFORT IS ANGRY. ZERG...?!
LUCKY_NOOB
Profile Blog Joined June 2013
Bulgaria1498 Posts
September 19 2025 11:40 GMT
#9
"Welcome to the desert of the real" ^_._^

Also:

"A "good" engagement rate is subjective, but generally, anything above 1% is considered good, while 3-5% is very strong, and above 5% is exceptional."
ko-fi.com/luckynoob
BisuDagger
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
Bisutopia19297 Posts
September 19 2025 14:06 GMT
#10
I'm around Peanut if you need to talk. You are awesome. Don't let your mind build a false narrative about you that isn't true. Life can and will be wonderful for you, don't give up!
ModeratorFormer Afreeca Starleague Caster: http://afreeca.tv/ASL2ENG2
Peanutsc
Profile Blog Joined August 2008
United States307 Posts
September 20 2025 04:12 GMT
#11
Awww thanks everyone. I guess I'll just bunker down and wait for the collapse of the global financial system and the reunification of Korea and then everyone will truly understand what I'm on about, lol.
"You only get one life on this earth, Tasteless, and if you're not spending the majority of it playing StarCraft, I would argue that it might be wasted." "I couldn't agree more, Artosis."
LUCKY_NOOB
Profile Blog Joined June 2013
Bulgaria1498 Posts
September 20 2025 10:42 GMT
#12
On September 20 2025 13:12 Peanutsc wrote:
Awww thanks everyone. I guess I'll just bunker down and wait for the collapse of the global financial system and the reunification of Korea and then everyone will truly understand what I'm on about, lol.


Or talk to ppl IRL and organize that way. I bet the engagement rate is way higher.
ko-fi.com/luckynoob
zelevin
Profile Joined January 2012
United States296 Posts
September 20 2025 18:14 GMT
#13
On September 20 2025 13:12 Peanutsc wrote:
Awww thanks everyone. I guess I'll just bunker down and wait for the collapse of the global financial system and the reunification of Korea and then everyone will truly understand what I'm on about, lol.

I'm interested in hearing about the reunification of Korea. That sounds farfetched, but if you've written something about it, link it to me.
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