Most of my posts have been lengthy explanations up to now. I'm not feeling particularly long winded at the moment, just want to pose a set of questions.

How do you live with someone who wants to die? How do you spend your life with someone who is tired of existing, is even looking forward to death?

There will be no context for this, other than to say that support and care during hard times is obvious, and provided. I am merely asking the questions from a personal, "how to deal" point of view, because, well...Everyone gets tired sometimes.

Thank you.

BuGzlToOnl

United States5918 Posts

September 09 2007 23:11 GMT

No body wants to die. They are probably saying that because they don't see that someone cares about them (especially if your talking about a girl). You can only try your best to show that you deeply care about them, and if they don't see that its not your fault, but theirs. Only thing I can really suggest to bring them out of that depressive attitude is to try something new, something you haven't done before. Go on a road trip, or place you haven't been before.

I assume your talking about your GF?

MTF

United States1739 Posts

September 09 2007 23:23 GMT

On September 10 2007 08:11 BuGzlToOnl wrote:
No body wants to die. They are probably saying that because they don't see that someone cares about them (especially if your talking about a girl). You can only try your best to show that you deeply care about them, and if they don't see that its not your fault, but theirs. Only thing I can really suggest to bring them out of that depressive attitude is to try something new, something you haven't done before. Go on a road trip, or place you haven't been before.

I assume your talking about your GF?

Some people do. It is granted that most people who talk of suicide only favor attention, but to assume that it is commonplace amongst all people is faulty. It is not a natural want, but natural wants do not always govern; sometimes things are biologically wrong.

The person in context gets ample attention, is cared about deeply and knows this, without question. They are not attention seeking and have no reason to be. They feel this sinking low randomly, without need for a cause, even during the happiest of times.

The suggestions are good, and they have and will be done. Rousing with a constant flux of activity doesn't get rid of the depression, only gives a temporary distraction, though.

Leath

Canada1724 Posts

September 09 2007 23:28 GMT

Are humans the only ones who consider suicide?

Back to the question, I guess you gotta make the person feels better about herself, and solve whatever problem she may have. Given that you care of that person...
But yah, I guess most people who talk about such things are just trying to diverge your attention to another topic they may have in mind and are too afraid to talk about or something... dunno

paper

13196 Posts

September 09 2007 23:32 GMT

kill him lolz.

IntoTheWow

is awesome32277 Posts

September 09 2007 23:34 GMT

Give him/her a hug.

Make them want to live again?

MTF

United States1739 Posts

September 09 2007 23:48 GMT

The only reason this person continues is because they believe they can change who they are. They refuse to live for anything else, because it is demeaning to ask an individual to live on if they are not content with an unchanging value. Trying to change that is part of the process which is ongoing, as well as comforting them, medication, and all of the other immediate things that come to mind.

BuGzlToOnl

United States5918 Posts

September 09 2007 23:50 GMT

"Were all crazy some more than others."

If its a biological reason, i can understand not wanting to live. I have a very "odd" view than most people on the thing we call, life. To me life is awesome, interesting, and fun, but death is something I look forward to as well, I would never kill myself just to die sooner, but death is something mysterious.

It's the one thing that man has no answer to, we know about the moon, the stars, galaxy, and universe, but we know nothing about death. For me it's a mixed feeling of excitement with a little bit of fear when ever I think about death.

useLess

United States4781 Posts

September 10 2007 00:14 GMT

You slap the person around and either show him people who are far worst off (dump him off in Africa), or try to give him some meaning to his life (dump him off in Africa).

Equinox_kr

United States7395 Posts

September 10 2007 00:26 GMT

#10

Usually whoever wants to die is an attention whore. Ignore them. Problem solved

Tadzio

3340 Posts

September 10 2007 00:32 GMT

#11

I think it depends deeply upon the type of depression and the kind of person that's depressed. What helps one situation doesn't always help another. If the depression is caused by anxiety, removing the stimuli that causes the anxiety often helps. Of course you have to determine what that stimuli is first. If the depression is caused by a hormones or imbalances in the brain, medication may help, but seek medical expert opinion. If the depression is caused by disillusionment, or a failure to meet personal expectations, working to change ideology may be in order-- self-help programs, education, military training, team sports practice, religion, brainwashing, etc.

In general, I think pursuing hobbies and interests helps a great deal. If for some reason that's not an option (your friend has a lack of passion for anything), a short term solution might be to introduce an unexpected yet pleasant experiences into the household. Road trips, new music, candlelit dinners, a great movie, a puppy or other young pet, or something else that's appropriate and nice.

LySin

United States267 Posts

September 10 2007 00:42 GMT

#12

The immediate response will be to tell your friend to seek a psychologist.

contact a suicidal hotline, they should have years of experience with these situations. i really don't know why you came here for assists but never the less help your friend

HeadBangaa

United States6512 Posts

September 10 2007 00:42 GMT

#13

Physical exercise alleviates depression. Take him/her out rock-climbing, ice-skating, etc... do fun stuff.

MTF

United States1739 Posts

September 10 2007 00:59 GMT

#14

On September 10 2007 09:42 LySin wrote:
The immediate response will be to tell your friend to seek a psychologist.

contact a suicidal hotline, they should have years of experience with these situations. i really don't know why you came here for assists but never the less help your friend

My friend has been to five different psychologists already and is currently on medication. They are coping, they're just tired of living.

As for the last bit, I didn't come here to find my sick friend a cure when they're already working towards one. I came here for advice on how to personally live with it.

berated-

United States1134 Posts

September 10 2007 01:12 GMT

#15

This is an area that I have a hard time dealing with myself. Although my fiancee doesn't express it on a day to day basis I know there have been many times that she has stated her desire not to live. Its a really hard subject to digest and an even harder one to except. To be honest, the only way I've learned to deal with it is to basically ignore it.

I try to remind her that the way she feels is selfish, whenever she goes on one of her major kicks about it. I tell her its not fair to me, who depends on her and needs her. However, none of it will convince her otherwise. You just, live life. You either let it defeat you or keep marching on. The times when you are reminded of it you fight it. Express to them their importance. When its not an immediate thought you enjoy your time with them.

I can't really express much more, I guess I can't explain how I do it, I just do it. If you ever need someone to talk to or just to get your mind off of whats going on, send me a PM or whatever.

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