A little later she came across a certificate program on programming given by a respected university here. It takes 1 year with concentrated subjects related to practical coding taught in CS degrees. It's a paid program, not too expensive but not too cheap either, like we can afford it but paying and then not studying would be wasteful of our limited income.
I'm a programmer myself, been working for about 7 years. When I took a look at the syllabus it seemed pretty good, also the university is giving this certification for more than 15 years, it's intended for people without previous experience, and professors seemed to know what they are aiming for very well.
So I told her it's ok if she wants to attend and I would help her too when she has trouble understanding something.
At the very start she was motivated, attended online courses regularly, tried to do assignments by herself only asking when she was really stuck etc. And she seemed to start grasping how to program in Java and Python. It was fun solving something together and seeing her progress.
Then she started neglecting it part by part. First, stopped attending online lessons, telling me she will watch them later because live courses are on bad hours. Then she completely stopped watching lessons and just studied using summarized notes given by the lecturer. They are really short, 3-4 pages of notes covering like 20+ hours of video lectures.
Then she started bugging me for homeworks. They give assignments 3 weeks in advance and she doesn't even take a look at the course material until the last evening of the last day when only a couple hours left to deliver the homework. She wants me to sit by her side and help. It looks like she is doing the homework but in reality she sometimes doesn't even know the basics written in those 3-page notes, or taught in previous lessons. Then I patiently explain everything, even the very basic stuff she supposedly learned months ago, again and again, while doing the homework "together".
What really got my nerves one time is, she told me that it was impossible to do this particular homework based on what was taught in the course. She was telling this solely based on the talks among the students in WhatsApp group chat, without even taking a glimpse at the notes or the assignment. It was on a subject I myself didn't know much about (I never used Linux). I got the notes and the assignment and did it myself, 90% of it was possible only using the information in the notes, remaining took a little bit of googling, then I told her it was indeed possible and she could take a look at the solution if she wanted, but I didn't want her to submit it without understanding.
What's worse is, she pushes me to sit by her on online pass-fail exams and solve questions together. If I refuse she gets really sad and tells me she will just fail if I don't help and will have to pay more for make-up exams and that would be pointless.
If I do, I hate it. I must admit that I think these exams are extra-hard because professors think everyone is cheating online, on the other hand I'm sure there are people in the course honestly trying to learn and not cheating, even if they are a few in number. Plus it really annoys me that she studies for an hour on material taught in months and only then asks me to help.
After the last exam she gave me her word that she would study for the next ones and won't ask my help, and told me she did it because the particular courses at the time were really hard and boring. Fast forward couple months and she has exams again this weekend. She did a single homework, 50% help by me. Didn't do the second one because I didn't want to help. Didn't watch 1 second of video lectures. I'm sure she doesn't even know the face or name of the 2 lecturers.
I guess she thinks I don't want to help because I'm already tired coding all day long but the reality is it annoys me like hell. I'm super helpful when she honestly studies but couldn't solve a problematic thing but this is not it.
And she doesn't quit, which means paying more money for every new chapter. She just wants to somehow complete the program and get the certificate, but what's the point of having a piece of paper without knowing anything on the subject? I work from home, I can help anytime she wants, she has all the free time in the world, when's the better time to learn something if you want to?
I honestly don't want to help her at all unless she really studies hard in the next few days (which she won't because right now she's gaming for hous with her friend). I'd either refuse and it will escalate until I'm "guilty" of something, or I will help her pass and hate it even more.
How can I handle this situation without doing something I hate and not causing any troubles between us? How can I avoid this stress every time a homework or exam is getting near?