• Log InLog In
  • Register
Liquid`
Team Liquid Liquipedia
EST 22:08
CET 04:08
KST 12:08
  • Home
  • Forum
  • Calendar
  • Streams
  • Liquipedia
  • Features
  • Store
  • EPT
  • TL+
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Smash
  • Heroes
  • Counter-Strike
  • Overwatch
  • Liquibet
  • Fantasy StarCraft
  • TLPD
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Blogs
Forum Sidebar
Events/Features
News
Featured News
Clem wins HomeStory Cup 284HomeStory Cup 28 - Info & Preview13Rongyi Cup S3 - Preview & Info3herO wins SC2 All-Star Invitational14SC2 All-Star Invitational: Tournament Preview5
Community News
Weekly Cups (Jan 26-Feb 1): herO, Clem, ByuN, Classic win2RSL Season 4 announced for March-April7Weekly Cups (Jan 19-25): Bunny, Trigger, MaxPax win3Weekly Cups (Jan 12-18): herO, MaxPax, Solar win0BSL Season 2025 - Full Overview and Conclusion8
StarCraft 2
General
Clem wins HomeStory Cup 28 HomeStory Cup 28 - Info & Preview Stellar Fest "01" Jersey Charity Auction StarCraft 2 Not at the Esports World Cup 2026 Weekly Cups (Jan 26-Feb 1): herO, Clem, ByuN, Classic win
Tourneys
$5,000 WardiTV Winter Championship 2026 HomeStory Cup 28 RSL Season 4 announced for March-April PIG STY FESTIVAL 7.0! (19 Feb - 1 Mar) StarCraft Evolution League (SC Evo Biweekly)
Strategy
Custom Maps
[A] Starcraft Sound Mod
External Content
Mutation # 511 Temple of Rebirth The PondCast: SC2 News & Results Mutation # 510 Safety Violation Mutation # 509 Doomsday Report
Brood War
General
[ASL21] Potential Map Candidates Can someone share very abbreviated BW cliffnotes? 2024 BoxeR's birthday message Liquipedia.net NEEDS editors for Brood War BSL Season 21 - Complete Results
Tourneys
Escore Tournament StarCraft Season 1 Small VOD Thread 2.0 KCM Race Survival 2026 Season 1 The Casual Games of the Week Thread
Strategy
Zealot bombing is no longer popular? Simple Questions, Simple Answers Current Meta Soma's 9 hatch build from ASL Game 2
Other Games
General Games
Diablo 2 thread Battle Aces/David Kim RTS Megathread EVE Corporation Nintendo Switch Thread Path of Exile
Dota 2
Official 'what is Dota anymore' discussion
League of Legends
Heroes of the Storm
Simple Questions, Simple Answers Heroes of the Storm 2.0
Hearthstone
Deck construction bug Heroes of StarCraft mini-set
TL Mafia
Mafia Game Mode Feedback/Ideas Vanilla Mini Mafia
Community
General
Russo-Ukrainian War Thread US Politics Mega-thread The Games Industry And ATVI YouTube Thread Things Aren’t Peaceful in Palestine
Fan Clubs
The herO Fan Club! The IdrA Fan Club
Media & Entertainment
[Manga] One Piece Anime Discussion Thread
Sports
2024 - 2026 Football Thread
World Cup 2022
Tech Support
Quickbooks Payroll Service Official Guide Quickbooks Customer Service Official Guide
TL Community
The Automated Ban List
Blogs
Play, Watch, Drink: Esports …
TrAiDoS
My 2025 Magic: The Gathering…
DARKING
Life Update and thoughts.
FuDDx
How do archons sleep?
8882
Customize Sidebar...

Website Feedback

Closed Threads



Active: 1480 users

Chemical dependence

Blogs > Starlightsun
Post a Reply
Starlightsun
Profile Blog Joined June 2016
United States1405 Posts
October 11 2019 19:59 GMT
#1
Wednesday was pretty bad. Had to take prescription pill at night. Wiped me out all of yesterday and brain is still in a fog. But alternative is mind spinning in tight little loops, while guilt, shame and self hatred grow so much as to spill into the physical body. Queasy feeling like food poisoning or diarrhea. Can't simply shit it out though. Have to rely on meds.

It's a relief to have that option at least instead of suffer interminably. The cost is weight gain and becoming like a drooling idiot. It makes me not ponder things like what are these drugs doing to me, is my personality being altered, am I possibly doing damage to my nervous system. Normally I'd be preoccupied with that kind of stuff.

Funny that it causes me to write blogs too. Almost all of my blog posts this year were written while on meds. Without them, when I feel like writing something I'll get shut down by inner voice telling me "too stupid, too boring, pretentious, unreadable". It seems so silly because who cares right? It's just not important. I wish I could feel that way without having to take medication. Need a brain transplant.

****
KelsierSC
Profile Blog Joined March 2013
United Kingdom10443 Posts
October 11 2019 20:14 GMT
#2
I don't have the answer to your problems, but if you want to blog when you are off the meds then go ahead and post it , people post all kinds of shit here so try not to worry or overthink it.
Zerg for Life
WombaT
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Northern Ireland26236 Posts
October 11 2019 22:29 GMT
#3
I’m curious to know more, if you feel up to it. If you are just venting though that’s cool as well.

Been on and off all sorts of meds trying to find a workable balance for my particular condition (bipolar disorder), taken a while but I feel I have a decent balance currently between being stable and not feeling like a zombie stripped of all creativity.
'You'll always be the cuddly marsupial of my heart, despite the inherent flaws of your ancestry' - Squat
Deleted User 3420
Profile Blog Joined May 2003
24492 Posts
October 12 2019 02:21 GMT
#4
What medication are you taking?
Starlightsun
Profile Blog Joined June 2016
United States1405 Posts
October 12 2019 04:52 GMT
#5
Olanzapine... started around January, gained like 8 pounds. My doctor gave me some alternatives to look up: invega, vraylar and rexulti. I don't know how to find any meaningful information about them though besides the bare information on pages like webmd. That stuff doesn't tell you much about what you'll actually experience on them. I see her at the end of the month, will just go with what she recommends. Apparently the olanzapine is about the worst for lethargy and weight gain.
Deleted User 3420
Profile Blog Joined May 2003
24492 Posts
October 12 2019 13:22 GMT
#6
Do you think that your problems are physical or mental in nature?

Antipsychotics and antidepressants will sometimes alter your brain or body, it's true. Some are worse about it than others.
How do you feel when you are on it? Do you want to take it? Do you actually think it's best for you? Do you have any loved ones who have talked to you about how you are off your medication vs on your medication?

Do you have someone you trust and respect that you can talk to about such things?
Starlightsun
Profile Blog Joined June 2016
United States1405 Posts
October 12 2019 15:56 GMT
#7
Physical/mental I really don't know. It could be spiritual for all I know. I'm really averse to taking meds and would prefer not to but I started this year after really bad end of last year. Normally I try to manage symptoms with clean diet and exercise and my doctor is supportive with that although she urges meds as supplement. I talk a little bit to my Dad about it but mostly it's just between me and my doctor. Had some extremely bad experiences in the past on meds/hospitalizations so it's really hard for me to put any of that stuff in my body now not knowing if I'll lose my mind again.
Deleted User 3420
Profile Blog Joined May 2003
24492 Posts
October 12 2019 21:51 GMT
#8
Well if you ever feel like you need someone to talk to about how you feel and what you want, feel free to message me. I know you don't really know me right now, but I don't mind if you don't mind.
WombaT
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Northern Ireland26236 Posts
October 12 2019 22:45 GMT
#9
From my perspective, being in a psychiatric hospital and on a time being on olanzapine. Didn’t particularly like it and got swapped off, but can understand why it works for some.

On the weight gain front, it doesn’t do anything metabolically to make you magically gain weight, from what I’ve read anyway. It just increases appetite, which if you don’t control it naturally leads that way.

I’ve kept my weight within 70-74 kilos for a good 4 years now, on various antipsychotics, it’s doable. People I knew from hospital who just accepted it as an inevitable side effect piled on a lot of weight.

The lethargy influences that of course, don’t get me wrong, equally if you don’t have much to do with your time, kinda leads to weight gain as you don’t have a huge amount else to do but eat
'You'll always be the cuddly marsupial of my heart, despite the inherent flaws of your ancestry' - Squat
Starlightsun
Profile Blog Joined June 2016
United States1405 Posts
October 13 2019 00:00 GMT
#10
On October 13 2019 06:51 travis wrote:
Well if you ever feel like you need someone to talk to about how you feel and what you want, feel free to message me. I know you don't really know me right now, but I don't mind if you don't mind.


Thanks I appreciate the offer. Personal correspondence is difficult for me hence obtuse blogs or other posts in anonymity. Give and take with another human being feels pretty impossible sometimes.
Starlightsun
Profile Blog Joined June 2016
United States1405 Posts
October 13 2019 00:03 GMT
#11
On October 13 2019 07:45 Wombat_NI wrote:
From my perspective, being in a psychiatric hospital and on a time being on olanzapine. Didn’t particularly like it and got swapped off, but can understand why it works for some.

On the weight gain front, it doesn’t do anything metabolically to make you magically gain weight, from what I’ve read anyway. It just increases appetite, which if you don’t control it naturally leads that way.

I’ve kept my weight within 70-74 kilos for a good 4 years now, on various antipsychotics, it’s doable. People I knew from hospital who just accepted it as an inevitable side effect piled on a lot of weight.

The lethargy influences that of course, don’t get me wrong, equally if you don’t have much to do with your time, kinda leads to weight gain as you don’t have a huge amount else to do but eat


That's good that it's just appetite rather than metabolism affected. Guess I just have to ignore never feeling satiated, or else compensate with more exercise. Were you ever on Vraylar, Rexulti or Invega? I wish I could do without meds entirely. My diagnosis is clinical depression and social anxiety.
WombaT
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Northern Ireland26236 Posts
October 13 2019 21:36 GMT
#12
On October 13 2019 09:03 Starlightsun wrote:
Show nested quote +
On October 13 2019 07:45 Wombat_NI wrote:
From my perspective, being in a psychiatric hospital and on a time being on olanzapine. Didn’t particularly like it and got swapped off, but can understand why it works for some.

On the weight gain front, it doesn’t do anything metabolically to make you magically gain weight, from what I’ve read anyway. It just increases appetite, which if you don’t control it naturally leads that way.

I’ve kept my weight within 70-74 kilos for a good 4 years now, on various antipsychotics, it’s doable. People I knew from hospital who just accepted it as an inevitable side effect piled on a lot of weight.

The lethargy influences that of course, don’t get me wrong, equally if you don’t have much to do with your time, kinda leads to weight gain as you don’t have a huge amount else to do but eat


That's good that it's just appetite rather than metabolism affected. Guess I just have to ignore never feeling satiated, or else compensate with more exercise. Were you ever on Vraylar, Rexulti or Invega? I wish I could do without meds entirely. My diagnosis is clinical depression and social anxiety.

I have not alas. I’m going to assume you’re from the States? In my experience talking to people over the years people are prescribed way more meds full stop, and have meds changed much more frequently as well. My experiences in this regard where I live were that my docs were quite cautious and also sought my input and experiences quite a lot too.

I am currently on lithium combined with a relatively low dose of Quetiapine/Seroquel. The latter is an atypical antipsychotic, so in the same ‘family’ of drugs you’ve mentioned.

I understand the temptation to want to be off medication, and it’s definitely possible to do depending on the individual and their circumstances.

I think of them as a crutch that you get if you’ve broken your leg. You can’t fix your leg without them, but when it starts to heal you can take that away

Things like routine and all, exercise are all very important to build on, but medication may help as a foundation to build on.
'You'll always be the cuddly marsupial of my heart, despite the inherent flaws of your ancestry' - Squat
onlinechemical
Profile Joined November 2023
1 Post
November 17 2023 18:03 GMT
#13
Chemical dependence, a complex condition, involves reliance on substances for physical or psychological well-being. It's crucial to recognize the signs and seek support for recovery. In the realm of household solutions, the use of specialized products like "schoonmaakazijn" (cleaning vinegar) is gaining popularity for its eco-friendly properties, proving that even in daily chores, mindful choices matter.






Please log in or register to reply.
Live Events Refresh
Replay Cast
00:00
Rongyi Cup S3 - Playoffs Day 3
LiquipediaDiscussion
[ Submit Event ]
Live Streams
Refresh
StarCraft 2
JimRising 626
RuFF_SC2 197
UpATreeSC 85
StarCraft: Brood War
Artosis 751
Shuttle 140
Hyuk 71
Noble 18
Dota 2
monkeys_forever472
NeuroSwarm69
LuMiX1
League of Legends
C9.Mang0364
Cuddl3bear6
Counter-Strike
taco 700
Foxcn345
Super Smash Bros
hungrybox440
Mew2King129
Other Games
summit1g7664
Day[9].tv905
ViBE70
Livibee34
Hui .19
Organizations
Other Games
gamesdonequick1990
BasetradeTV1207
StarCraft 2
Blizzard YouTube
StarCraft: Brood War
BSLTrovo
sctven
[ Show 18 non-featured ]
StarCraft 2
• Hupsaiya 81
• Berry_CruncH77
• davetesta32
• Kozan
• LaughNgamezSOOP
• sooper7s
• AfreecaTV YouTube
• intothetv
• Migwel
• IndyKCrew
StarCraft: Brood War
• Pr0nogo 1
• STPLYoutube
• ZZZeroYoutube
• BSLYoutube
Dota 2
• masondota21885
League of Legends
• Doublelift4111
• Scarra1698
Other Games
• Day9tv905
Upcoming Events
Big Brain Bouts
13h 52m
goblin vs Kelazhur
TriGGeR vs Krystianer
Replay Cast
20h 52m
RongYI Cup
1d 7h
herO vs Maru
Replay Cast
1d 20h
uThermal 2v2 Circuit
2 days
Replay Cast
3 days
Wardi Open
3 days
Monday Night Weeklies
3 days
Sparkling Tuna Cup
4 days
The PondCast
6 days
Liquipedia Results

Completed

Proleague 2026-02-04
HSC XXVIII
Underdog Cup #3

Ongoing

CSL 2025 WINTER (S19)
KCM Race Survival 2026 Season 1
Acropolis #4 - TS4
Escore Tournament S1: W7
Rongyi Cup S3
Nations Cup 2026
IEM Kraków 2026
BLAST Bounty Winter 2026
BLAST Bounty Winter Qual
eXTREMESLAND 2025
SL Budapest Major 2025
ESL Impact League Season 8

Upcoming

Escore Tournament S1: W8
Acropolis #4
IPSL Spring 2026
HSC XXIX
uThermal 2v2 2026 Main Event
Bellum Gens Elite Stara Zagora 2026
RSL Revival: Season 4
WardiTV Winter 2026
LiuLi Cup: 2025 Grand Finals
FISSURE Playground #3
IEM Rio 2026
PGL Bucharest 2026
Stake Ranked Episode 1
BLAST Open Spring 2026
ESL Pro League Season 23
ESL Pro League Season 23
PGL Cluj-Napoca 2026
TLPD

1. ByuN
2. TY
3. Dark
4. Solar
5. Stats
6. Nerchio
7. sOs
8. soO
9. INnoVation
10. Elazer
1. Rain
2. Flash
3. EffOrt
4. Last
5. Bisu
6. Soulkey
7. Mini
8. Sharp
Sidebar Settings...

Advertising | Privacy Policy | Terms Of Use | Contact Us

Original banner artwork: Jim Warren
The contents of this webpage are copyright © 2026 TLnet. All Rights Reserved.