I would like to share the tale of my on-and-off relationship with Starcraft BroodWar (BW).
*This post does not paint BW in a bad light and is for those hoping to make the decision to discontinue playing.*
I thought that I could share some insight into how I totally got over the game for those looking to do the same. And when I say totally, I mean absolute zero inclination to anything BW related. There are some elements to what I did that can transfer to other aspects of your life- I hope this advice helps as many people as it can.
I remember being introduced to this game in high school. I was really antisocial at the time and BW offered me another means to interact with people. At first, it was the hardest game that I've ever played, but there was something about it that wouldn't let go. I think anyone that has ever played an RTS knows exactly what I'm talking about. RTS games are probably the most rewarding out of any game- when you win, you immediately try to emulate and perfect what you did the next game. And when you lose, you immediately try to learn from your mistakes and try to execute a more mindful and strategic play. That instant gratification was what took a hold of me and didn't let go for over an entire decade of my life. That primitive yearning for reward which we all have (stronger in males) was being hijacked by digital 1's and 0's - literally.
I was well aware of the negative effects of BW on my real life. Countless hours and sometimes entire days were put towards improving my gaming skills and pwning noobs. There were times when I would eat cereal all day in between games, it ruined my studies, it even made me more antisocial than I ever was before. BW was no longer a means for me to interact with others but just something that I felt I needed in my life- my friends no longer became a factor to gaming. I began to conjure up many creative attempts for me to quit- I've tried cold turkey, weaning off time spent or total games per day, limiting myself to x amount of wins. I even tried picking up new activities and just finding things to do away from the computer. I've tried uninstalling the game a million times, talking to people (it was usually calls to quit cold turkey), just about everything. I even once tried to wean off BW with AOE2 with the notion that playing a lamer RTS would make me hate the genre as a whole- that game actually made me appreciate the gift of BW even more haha. The thing that I noticed was that whatever I did, I would always have this itch to eventually play again in the back of my mind.
That realization may have been the beginning of me getting control over my situation...
The honesty in admitting to the fact that, YES, after I quit now, I will definitely play again and the level of mindfulness that I acheived to reach that realization were pivotal in my relationship to BW. Sincerity (accepting reality as it is without delusion) is integral to improving the overall quality of your life. Life has so much good to give, but it's the ego(self) and being irrational that are the biggest roadblocks to enhancing our livelihood.
Overtime, I became more honest in terms of my relationship with BW. BW wasn't some evil addiction. I loved that game- actually, I still do! BW is a masterpiece of a game- the relative balance between 3 unique races, the micromanagement, and freedom to execute your style of pwning your opponent are what makes it such a great game to me. I would even say that BW has some transferable skills that can be very helpful in everyday life. Yes, managing and multitaskng a digital economy, a digital army, and strategizing against a digital foe have improved my analytical skills and creative thinking. This isn't me being delusional and in denial, when I sincerely look at how BW has impacted my life, yes there is some pain, but there is also gain.
Although I could now see that BW has given me so much pain and pleasure, I still felt that I should part with the game to focus on other things. At the time, I personally reached a level of play where further improvement would require dedicated practice, and I was definitely not going to start that for free. Even with and avg 225 APM as Terran, I played more multiplayer than 1v1 as 1v1 just felt like an unnecessary stresser (the ladder was pretty broken too). I was watching the ASL4 tournament around this time, around the quarter finals, and that's when I had an idea. I said to myself "you know what, I'm going to "retire" from BW on the day of the ASL4 finals." For the next week or so, I was anticipating the finals for the ASL tournament as well as my retirement party. I was getting in tons of games as well and just having a blast wrecking noobs on Battlenet. I called up a close friend who was also into BW and we decided to watch the finals at my house on the big screen after a big meal at Denny's. We played a couple matches and watched the obvious outcome of Flash winning and that was it. This time around, I wasn't quitting an addiction, it was like I was happily parting with a friend. I am even looking forward to celebrating my retirement each year. It's only been 10 days since I stopped playing, but I am experiencing something that I have never experienced before. I have zero inclination in playing, watching, or reading about BW. And whenever I think of BW, all I can see are the great times that I had and the happiness and laughs that it brought me.
My best advice to you is to be sincere, honest, rational, mindful, hopeful and don't focus on the negatives. I never expected that I would part with BW on good terms. My honesty towards how I really felt about BW was what lead me to this state. I hope this post will grant you some alleviating insight.
Sincerly,
saalih416 aka entermorelag aka torontolistk aka mubtadilisk aka n*****lisk on Iccup and U.S. West