EPTit has been a while since i wrote my last article here. Not sure why i stoppt all of a sudden but i was getting the feeling that what i was aiming for is not getting closer to me at all so i needed to look for other ways that life offers me.
So what happened is that i talk with some people and i spent a lot of time thinking about what would be the best thing for me to do in the future. I turned my back to streaming and farther more i turned my back on studying to cause i felt that this is not the right way for me.
So after i got to a point where i needed a new direction i wanna focus on, i looked down to something "normal" or "down to earth", if you wanna call it that way, so after looking around for quite some time i found a education at Deutsche Bahn and wrote a candidature to get what i was sure will be my future. Everything went realy well, the online test was easy and i passed it flawless, the job interview wasnt easy but i got a damn good result and so i was realy sure my self at the last test that was between me and my "bright" future. And than yea well i failed the last test and was out and there was no change for me to retry it in time, this meant i was out and without perspective for my future.
At this point i was down like never before and felt realy empty.
Good for me was that my GF was at my side and was pulling back and helped me to find the energy to keep going.
So after all this i still was sure that i cant got back to university and i thought that i just should do what i always wanted to do so i wrote one more candidature to get a education as a
media designer and after a few days a good a answer - i got a new change to bringe my life in the good way - i got a job interview. So just a few days after writing my candidature i sat in front of the people who hopefully will teach me a lot of things in the next years.
The Job Interview - right now a few month later i can say - went quiet well but they wanted to test me to see if i would be "worth" it so i went for a 2 month internship to prove that i am worth the job and the time they would put into me.
The 2 month passed away realy fast and i god i worked so bad i hated my self more than ever. I do not know why i was unable to get my head 100% focused even knowing my future was related to this internship. after 7 of 8 weeks we went to our last event and i knew if i do not give it 120% there will no change for me to get the job at all, and if i do the best i can - even than - my change was small cause of my bad work before.
The event was over and 1 week later i was called for our final talk if i get the job or not.
Guys i can tell you this week was the worst week i ever had in my life cause i had no clue how my future would look like.
The talk we had was long and very hard and interesting but what counts most was the ende.
Yea what should i say - i got the job and just started my education a few weeks ago and Jesus i am still doing so many stupid mistakes and i am still disappointed with my own work cause i do mistakes i should not do any more - yea but i got the job and i am fucking happy with IT.
So this is what happened in my life
. Hope you can understand all of this and hope that you life as well is getting great at any time.
See you soon.
Raxxes
