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[Girl] Parody. Warning: Mature Content

Blogs > N0
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N0
Profile Blog Joined October 2016
154 Posts
December 04 2016 19:17 GMT
#1
      When I first wanted to write a book I was 20. I had an idea which I wanted to expand on, and I wished the right words would come at the right time to anchor the right phrasings of my scenarios' descriptions into place, in order for me to bogart the idea. I needed this to happen more or less autonomously, which it didn't. I lost track of my idea and wound up sliding into relative irrelevance. Then, trying to swim back to it I realized I'd compromise the intensity to what I was trying to convey if I try to connect the two dots, the old and the new. That, and the fact that I later realized I could never close up the story if I keep drifting off, not to mention stay loyal to writing in general as opposed to procrastinating, made me reach a conclusion: I need to stop thinking about writing and stop writing until I can write without thinking about writing what I want to write about. And that was 5 seconds ago; it took me 10 years to get to this conclusion and right now I'm thinking something along the lines of 'that wasn't so hard', and also 'what are you, the reader, going to think about this intro?'. I hope I succeeded in lowering your expectations with it, so that now, if you do decide to read on, you'll do it without wasting brainwaves on expecting something and I'll have your full attention instead. The idea, yes this is going to be one huge wall, was for me to write a book called: "the unimaginably omnipresent, self-nurturing bullshit bubble", but then started working on a book I preemptively titled "the naked truth about my next book", instead. Needless to say I haven't managed to route my writings toward a point where the title would've been warranted.

      But now I feel up to the challenge, for one thing, and I plan to have a talk with the prostitute doing her rounds not more than a 40 second walk from the entrance to the building where I live, on the other hand. I'm going to tell her.. wait, did I just line-break back there. I said I wouldn't. There goes my integrity again; oh well. I'll put my hand on her ass and say.. well now I'm thinking how many times am I going to break again; will I break every time I should or was it a one time thing. Would it even matter if I say "hey, how are you?", or just go "how much for a handjob?", or say that I'm going to break 233 more times until this story has reached its conclusion, and that therefore you should brace yourself, dear reader, because "will this do for a month?" is what I asked her, flashing some bills with the total sum being equivalent to the price of the tablet I'm writing on; it has been 3 months since that faithful day, when the last thing I wrote was because before (I transitioned out of the writing block by laying down the device and making my way down the street to greet her -- just like I ultimately decided: not to actually greet her because let's face it, they know you know they're not exactly being a real person, and that the best of them can make you forget that but surely not during introductory conversation, so bluntness was in order, I felt like, or wound up with anyway, and it was good -- by ramming her butt with the bulge in the upper mid center of my pants, coming about due to my cock; as I was walking up to her. "So sorry", I said and you know what I said next, without pausing or so much as changing the tone or velocity of my speech... She says "Are you joking?", while still visibly amused from my masculine dickbutt maneuver, rapidly changing, as if shuffling cute facial gestures ranging from surprise to playfully vengeful and settling on cool, amused incredulity. She's actually genuinely pretty, and it turns out she's a cop, but more on that never. It's not like she didn't see me coming though, she even tilted her head last second and her eyes were looking at me all innocent but sensual, or whatever word you want to use for it, let me tell you there are a bunch. Anyway she didn't expect that move and truth be told I wasn't either, it just happened like that. Something happened 5 steps prior that just annihilated my inhibition and I honestly fell in love with her when she mirrored my amazement at myself for having the balls to pull it off; and it was perfect, don't mind me telling you. She's my friend with benefits now and we have a special understanding, which involves her taking a break from her real work and changing into the one she portrays herself having, just for me. Ever since I asked her to rub me off in-between busts, every public handjob behind the bush has been the highlight of my day. It's brilliant to feel the gasm while knowing that everyone else is getting busted for soliciting what I get. Not to mention I feel useful by helping her maintain credibility.) making up some bullshit story about me having gone ahead with it already. No, i'm still here, contemplating what to say. 3 months have gone by though, and she did look at me like I described, I just didn't dickbutt her yet; or even said anything. Maybe now that I feel like I've concluded this integral fragment of the story I can go for real. Wish me luck =)

Signups for [T]Define [b][blue][N#][/blue][/b]ormal Code Mafia now open!
AnythingThenDelete
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
381 Posts
December 04 2016 20:09 GMT
#2
I am going to pretend that I understood the whole story, as if I was not conflicted between trying to figure if this is suppose to have a drop of truth in it or just a complete random story, as if I was not conflicted between knowing if that is the start of the book or the start of a girl blod, as if I was not conflicted into writing a long ass post like you did with the third use of "as if I was not conflicted between" ans just writing a normal answer. Ho look, a full stop, how wonderful, I am not sure you are talking about a real prostitute, and I am not sure this was supposed to be true as well. If this hold any kind of truth, use protection, if this is just a book, this is a weird type of writing but maybe that will make a great book. This sounded like a short story and I like short stories, even though I stated before that I do not fully understand them. It reminds me of that spanish exam I got last week, still not sure about the story, even after reading about it in my own language. I am answering mainly because I am bored, but also to try and "punish" you by reading this long answer, as I felt slightly punished by paying attention to your answer, bur yours was kind of good, so if you read this you are the only being punished, sorry, not sorry, nah sorry for real. I don't know if I should end it now, or keep baiting you into reading, isn't it like if I was talking alone right now? It kinda is, also no one is gonna read that far, no one but you, trapped into this long text, thinking when is it going to end, is it even going to end, tne answer is yes, and right now.

Girl blog are a rare thing those days
ninazerg
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
United States7291 Posts
December 04 2016 23:12 GMT
#3
A standard paragraph should be 5-6 sentences long. 7, if they're short sentences.
"If two pregnant women get into a fist fight, it's like a mecha-battle between two unborn babies." - Fyodor Dostoevsky
Jerubaal
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
United States7684 Posts
December 04 2016 23:50 GMT
#4
I couldn't really understand what was happening in the first part of it. Were you commenting on your writing or was it an excerpt from your story?

One thing that really bugs me is when people lazily use cliche scenarios. " I plan to have a talk with the prostitute doing her rounds " I do not live in New York City, but I have never in my life seen this. I'm not saying you haven't, but do make sure you're writing it as if you had experienced it and not just pulling it from every fucking episode of Law and Order.
I'm not stupid, a marauder just shot my brain.
Jerubaal
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
United States7684 Posts
December 04 2016 23:51 GMT
#5
On December 05 2016 08:12 ninazerg wrote:
A standard paragraph should be 5-6 sentences long. 7, if they're short sentences.


i really can't tell if you're serious or this is 3 levels of commentary.
I'm not stupid, a marauder just shot my brain.
ninazerg
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
United States7291 Posts
December 05 2016 05:53 GMT
#6
On December 05 2016 08:51 Jerubaal wrote:
Show nested quote +
On December 05 2016 08:12 ninazerg wrote:
A standard paragraph should be 5-6 sentences long. 7, if they're short sentences.


i really can't tell if you're serious or this is 3 levels of commentary.


People who are only on 6-7 levels of commentary are like little babies to me.
"If two pregnant women get into a fist fight, it's like a mecha-battle between two unborn babies." - Fyodor Dostoevsky
lichter
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
1001 YEARS KESPAJAIL22272 Posts
December 05 2016 07:17 GMT
#7
On December 05 2016 14:53 ninazerg wrote:
Show nested quote +
On December 05 2016 08:51 Jerubaal wrote:
On December 05 2016 08:12 ninazerg wrote:
A standard paragraph should be 5-6 sentences long. 7, if they're short sentences.


i really can't tell if you're serious or this is 3 levels of commentary.


People who are only on 6-7 levels of commentary are like little babies to me.


everyone's like little babies to you you old hag

wow i haven't insulted you in blogs in ages
AdministratorYOU MUST HEED MY INSTRUCTIONS TAKE OFF YOUR THIIIINGS
N0
Profile Blog Joined October 2016
154 Posts
December 05 2016 07:20 GMT
#8
On December 05 2016 08:50 Jerubaal wrote:
" I plan to have a talk with the prostitute doing her rounds " I do not live in New York City, but I have never in my life seen this. I'm not saying you haven't, but do make sure you're writing it as if you had experienced it and not just pulling it from every fucking episode of Law and Order.

'Doing her rounds' might not have been the appropriate phrasing for saying she was moving from one side of the road to the other, to counteract the cold with movement, and to the spot where the action goes down and back, to counteract lack of funds.

The only copshow I like to watch is Elementary. Just listen to that soundtrack.
Signups for [T]Define [b][blue][N#][/blue][/b]ormal Code Mafia now open!
SkrollK
Profile Joined January 2015
France580 Posts
December 05 2016 09:35 GMT
#9
Dafuq I just read ?!

OP is cool and comments are golden so far.
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