Boy it's been a while since I last did one of these. Life has a funny way of letting you think you've got time to do everything you want to and only realizing it's been a year when you're a few thousand feet up in the air :D
I say it every time, but it's still pretty crazy how much has happened in my life since I gambled everything in my life on getting into esports. Not to say I had much, but it's hard not to feel blessed every time I finish an event and think about being able to do something I truly love for a living and not worry about whether I'll have hot water at home that month. Now we can talk about the fun stuff :D
What a year it's been! This has been the most stressful so far, knowing life it won't be any easier moving forward but boy did it take me a while to adjust. I think my biggest struggle was taking my work and SC2 too seriously, as weird as that sounds. I had a lot of professional hurdles to make with moving closer to work, cleaning up and trying to deliver a better product to the tournaments that hire me, but I really burned myself out on StarCraft this year.
Recently it's gotten better but this Summer I really went down the rabbit hole. For most of the year up until July, I spent every single day playing/streaming/watching SC2. As good as that may sound my life was very unbalanced, that was ALL I did.When Rotti left for Europe for a few months I didn't have anyone in Rancho to really hang with, and so 100% of my time went into playing/streaming. As fun as it is to play games all day, even that requires moderation.
It didn't quite hit me until I saw what was to me a normal rant I'd make being put up on reddit, and the subsequent questions I got from the community/Blizzard about how I really felt about where I was spending my time. At that point I was still making 15-hour SC2 days, spending 3-4 hours looking for new places to live/work/food and then sleeping until the next tournament was on to watch. I never really noticed it being an issue until it was too late. It's honestly a miracle I dodged the bullet I shot at myself this year with how much I was forcing myself to keep working so much. I've certainly hurt a few of my relationships with people I respect and only time will tell if I can redeem my misdoings, but I'm more upset that trying to have this sort of "don't-give-a-fuck" attitude warped a lot of views of me from my audience and the StarCraft community.
Recently I've made my best moves towards being more responsible, and I've found a renewed interest in SC2 simply by trying to do a few more human things. For example, I've finally started to work watching non-gaming content into my life. I watched my first TV show season in its entirety this year :D I also managed to make time to play a few more games that I really wanted to get a chance to play, and I'm only playing sC2 when I want to (just not 12 hours a day!). I've come to realize how important it is to maintain a good balance of work/play and when I let my work consume me so much playing Starcraft didn't really feel like "playing" at all.
I don't really know if I can repair the damage I've done to myself with the toxic overload of streaming/playing SC2 with literally nothing else in-between I did for the first half of this year, but I'm very excited for LotV and I'm hoping that moving forward I can pace myself a little bit better. Hopefully if I've made a fool of myself in front of some of you I can change your minds with my actions, and not just these words
I wanted to ramble on a bit more but I think it's a bit too far removed from this subject. Remember, everything in moderation!
Word. Husky got really sick because he was spending all of this time indoors, and wasn't getting enough vitamin D and fresh air. Being Human = most OP race
heh... I know how you feel and have been working on a rather way to much lengthy blog post myself on this topic, But at least you got opportunities to do many cool things in the SC2 community. I Just kept working myself so hard and nothing seemed to go correctly, right from the start of the WoL beta way into HOTS. Been working on breaking that cycle myself, but sometimes I honestly just feel lost as there isnt any other way for me to proceed besides work hard for the things I want to do.
Finding an alternate outlet and doing some REAL LIFE stuff is important to have balance yeah. esports doesn't sleep, but it's important that you do. Don't burn out nathanias, your memes might not be welcome on TL ( ) but everyone loves you.
I'm just a random guy on the internet, but you should try getting into fitness/athletic stuff. It really does add a lot to make me feel more balanced for my engineering job, and if you go to /r/fitness you'll see plenty of others who feel the same. A bunch of others in the SC community like Khaldor, Slivko, TLO, and others I probably don't know about talked a lot about how fitness kept them grounded and served as a stress reliever
Man, almost a full-year since this blog entry. Everytime I see you taking that next step on the ladder, I am reminded of what you wrote almost a full year ago (:
Best of luck, remember to explore life as well as love StarCraft
Your meteoric rise comes from that overboard commitment, just don't believe anyone who would tell you different. That doesn't have to be you all the time though.. "the dude must abide!" jeffrey lobowski
If there's been any drama around you I've missed it, maybe that makes sense though since I stay away from reddit. Well written blogg and it was very fun to get to know whats been going on with you and how you are feeling at the moment. I hope these realizations helps you get some balance in your life and that you get to a place were you not only feel happy but also feel that being connected to the scene is mainly a passion and seconary a job.
I'm glad that you became aware of it. You're my absolute favorite caster, but I can't stand your streaming persona because of the toxicity, negativity and lack of courtesy with your opponents AND viewers.
I think plenty of us can relate to some of the stuff you're dealing with man. Good to hear you managed the catch yourself before it screwed you completely. You're 100% right. Life is a balance and when things get outta whack, shit gets real talk.
Hope other people listen to this story too and take note. Too much of one thing is always bad and moderation is needed for sanity reasons more than anything.
It's been amazing watching you grow from just another community caster into one of the absolute best. I'm sure I'm not alone when I say that even if we have to see less of you, we'd rather that than see you burn out totally. Keep it up.
Not sure how much of this is genuine or just a panic move due to massive subscriber loss and reputation thrashing. I never talked much but I liked Nate at first, and by at first I mean when he had 8 viewers and was a pleb streamer. He was humble, funny, and interactive. The devolution into a 'dank memester who gives no fucks' was really off-putting.
Hopefully this is genuine, and we can look forward to some great LOTV streams.
Lol man, thats exactly what happened to me, i was so much into esports all day everyday that i get health and mental problems like insomnia for instance, my health still hasnt recovered fully and its been 2 years since problems started, so i guess i burned out. I was feeling more and more bad but still continued to be on the pc all day long. That thread should be warning to all the people with big dreams of esports carrier. Sport is about endurance, not everybody can play for 12 hours a day and if you want to train like the best but u cant, then better switch your career or play just for fun. Getting sick wont make you happy! Switch mind activity with physical activity and rest, that will make you better at everything you do.
Great reminder for the community, there are other important things in life aside sc2.
I think you're not alone. I can remember when getting better at this game appeared to be all that mattered and the time I spent pushing to be a better player.
Balance is the one of the big keys to life. I returned to playing jazz guitar in the past year and devoted a lot of my gaming energy to playing music. I think it was such an important decision for me.
This guys okay in my book. I guess being a Zerg player I don't watch his stream enough to know what is/ was going on. He's a great caster and seems like a nice enough guy. Seeing his streams a few times he was definitely saltier than I'd imagined ... But anyone that pretends like they are not salty after a losing streak in StarCraft is just pretending. Don't be to hard on yourself, nathanias. As and old guy I can say that when I was younger, and what I also notice in younger people, is that everything is a big deal. This was a big win or a big moment, and this is a sign of things to come, or oh this is super important - life is a lot more linear than it seems in your 20s. You make mistakes, you piss some people off, you genuinely fuck up, and you do some great shit too. Such is life. It's much the same for everyone. Just take it calm and easy.
An important wake up call - glad you had it in time. It's awesome to work with something you're passionate about but it's also a risk. Hope you will find the balance that works for you!
Glad you're feeling better now! Sc2 definitely has the tendency to suck you in, and keep you there without you realizing you need to distance yourself and take a break. I've had it happen to me so many times in the past. I'd set a goal like, such as reaching a specific rank, and then pour my soul into the game. After a while, I quickly burn out, but I keep at it, thinking this is what hard work is. The best work comes when you learn balance, and it's relevant to everything in life!
Anyways, I look forward to seeing you on stream again, you are one of my favorite casters!
EPT
) but everyone loves you.
), Cheers!
