|
As many of you know by now, there is no person more qualified than good ol’ Epishade to talk about girls. They are a relatively unknown breed, so it is not uncommon to be worried about walking up to one of them in their natural habitat and getting mauled, eaten, or worse, made fun of. Thankfully, I have since found out how to communicate in their language, and, in time, you too can learn how to tame yourself one of these wild creatures with Epishade’s 5 easy steps to woo and understand women.
Step 1.
Ignore all other advice you hear about women. Especially advice FROM women. They are not to be trusted. And Epishade is your friend. He wouldn’t lie to you, would he? Of course not! He’s here to help! All the others hate you and you shouldn’t listen to them. They know nothing about women and how they behave. Especially women! Turns out women know nothing about women either! You can trust me though, I’m a man. And it just so happens that I am an expert in my field: Womenology. So why shouldn’t you listen to me? (Don’t answer that)
Now that we’ve established how credible and awesome I am, we can continue onto steps 2-5 so that even a loser like you can understand the mindset of the modern female.
Step 2.
Scout your targets. We’re looking for the pretty girls here, because they have to make up for what they lack in brains with their good looks. Luckily, for you, this gives you an advantage, for if you are reading Epishade’s 5 easy steps to woo and understand women, you are clearly the exact opposite.
You may find fat women to be tempting as well. If you can manage potentially being crushed to death during passionate lovemaking later, I say the risk is well worth it.
Step 3.
Treat women like cheap hookers. Buy your girl flowers or a nice birthday card for no special reason and BAM! You just got laid. There is little difference in paying for a hooker and paying for flowers, except price. Flowers are almost always cheaper than a hooker, and you shouldn’t be sleeping with any hookers if this is not the case, unless you find a really good deal (coupons, sales etc.).
Step 4.
Always be prepared. Someway, somehow, you’ve ended up with a girl in your bed. You may have payed her, bribed her, blackmailed her, I don’t know, but you’ve done it. You’re in the big leagues now! Only, whoops, the lights are off and you can’t find/open/put on your condom. By the time you finally get everything settled, the mood is gone and your hooker wants her money. This is perhaps the most important step in Epishade’s 5 easy steps to woo and understand women when it gets down to actually doing the deed.
Wear your condom before the date! This shows foresight and compassion somehow and the girls really love it when you do this. I can’t tell you the looks I’ve gotten when I pull down my pants and my dates see I’m already prepared!
Step 5.
Step 5 can best be summed up in one image, for words do not do it justice and it is very important that you get this for any kind of meaningful relationship with future girl.
+ Show Spoiler +
I hope my advice proves far more valuable than any other advice you've read today (or in your lifetime).
 
|
You advice incorrect
When you pay girl like hooker it is only because she then give money to Jew
|
Russian Federation4050 Posts
You just single handedly changed my life.
|
This advice is wrong. I would probably also need a bag of candy with the flowers before sleeping with the likes of you!!!!
|
This may have been written with the intention to be funny but my sincere hope is that your "advice" isn't how you actually feel/think. Personally, I found it not funny, not informative, and definitely narcissistic. These are the types of posts that has people out-crying for crap like a "Dislike Button" on Facebook. I just hope some lonely guy on here doesn't take this seriously.
|
|
|
This was extremely valuable to my dog, thank you.
|
On September 21 2015 14:32 G5 wrote:
This may have been written with the intention to be funny but my sincere hope is that your "advice" isn't how you actually feel/think. Personally, I found it not funny, not informative, and definitely narcissistic. These are the types of posts that has people out-crying for crap like a "Dislike Button" on Facebook. I just hope some lonely guy on here doesn't take this seriously.
On September 21 2015 20:12 NeThZOR wrote:
1/5
Tough crowd.
|
On September 21 2015 21:47 Epishade wrote:Show nested quote +On September 21 2015 14:32 G5 wrote:
This may have been written with the intention to be funny but my sincere hope is that your "advice" isn't how you actually feel/think. Personally, I found it not funny, not informative, and definitely narcissistic. These are the types of posts that has people out-crying for crap like a "Dislike Button" on Facebook. I just hope some lonely guy on here doesn't take this seriously. Tough crowd.
I'd take it even further! 0/5!
|
Lol people so salty, it was pretty funny, 4/5.
|
On September 21 2015 21:47 Epishade wrote:Show nested quote +On September 21 2015 14:32 G5 wrote:
This may have been written with the intention to be funny but my sincere hope is that your "advice" isn't how you actually feel/think. Personally, I found it not funny, not informative, and definitely narcissistic. These are the types of posts that has people out-crying for crap like a "Dislike Button" on Facebook. I just hope some lonely guy on here doesn't take this seriously. Tough crowd.
Everyone's a critic.
|
Treat women like cheap hookers. Buy your girl flowers or a nice birthday card for no special reason and BAM! You just got laid. There is little difference in paying for a hooker and paying for flowers, except price. Flowers are almost always cheaper than a hooker, and you shouldn’t be sleeping with any hookers if this is not the case, unless you find a really good deal (coupons, sales etc.).
words of wisdom 5/5 haha
..... hold on I'm riding the 1/5 and 0/5 bandwagon
...... I'll be nice because you put in the effort: 2/5
|
United States5491 Posts
|
On September 22 2015 06:57 docvoc wrote:+ Show Spoiler +Show any girl you got that e-sports money and panties drop
There should be a parody of that Drowning Pool song, called "Let The Panties Hit The Floor".
|
|
|
+ Show Spoiler +On September 22 2015 17:51 JieXian wrote:hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha that would be amazing https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=04F4xlWSFh0let the panties hit the floor... let the panties hit the floor... let the panties hit the floor... let the panties hit the.. *ting* *ting* ![[image loading]](http://ragemaker.net/images/Rage/rage%20omega.jpg) FFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUULLLLLLAAAAAAUUUUUUUUOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR ![[image loading]](http://cdn.theatlantic.com/assets/media/img/posts/2013/12/3680655443_2a2fe42d2c_o/1c96f3844.png) RRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH One - Something's got to give Two - Something's got to give Three - Something's got to give NNNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHH Let the panties hit the flow! Let the panties hit the flow! Let the panties hit the flow! Let the panties hit the FFFFLLLLOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Fuck you ! I got busted at work 'cause i burst laughing. Now i need to explain why i laugh !
|
Northern Ireland22208 Posts
does anyone have a link where i can download tl platinum from??
(or even torrent)
|
On September 23 2015 00:11 ahswtini wrote:
does anyone have a link where i can download tl platinum from??
(or even torrent)
here:
http://downloadmoreram.com/
On September 22 2015 23:17 FFW_Rude wrote:+ Show Spoiler +On September 22 2015 17:51 JieXian wrote:hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha that would be amazing https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=04F4xlWSFh0let the panties hit the floor... let the panties hit the floor... let the panties hit the floor... let the panties hit the.. *ting* *ting* FFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUULLLLLLAAAAAAUUUUUUUUOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH One - Something's got to give Two - Something's got to give Three - Something's got to give NNNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHH Let the panties hit the flow! Let the panties hit the flow! Let the panties hit the flow! Let the panties hit the FFFFLLLLOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH! Fuck you ! I got busted at work 'cause i burst laughing. Now i need to explain why i laugh !
je vouz en prie :D
|
On September 23 2015 03:15 JieXian wrote:Show nested quote +On September 23 2015 00:11 ahswtini wrote:
does anyone have a link where i can download tl platinum from??
(or even torrent) here: http://downloadmoreram.com/Show nested quote +On September 22 2015 23:17 FFW_Rude wrote:+ Show Spoiler +On September 22 2015 17:51 JieXian wrote:hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha that would be amazing https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=04F4xlWSFh0let the panties hit the floor... let the panties hit the floor... let the panties hit the floor... let the panties hit the.. *ting* *ting* FFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUULLLLLLAAAAAAUUUUUUUUOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH One - Something's got to give Two - Something's got to give Three - Something's got to give NNNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHH Let the panties hit the flow! Let the panties hit the flow! Let the panties hit the flow! Let the panties hit the FFFFLLLLOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH! Fuck you ! I got busted at work 'cause i burst laughing. Now i need to explain why i laugh ! je vouz en prie :D
replace that "z" with a "s" and you're good. (also you pronouce it like a Z).
|
|
|
|
|
|
EPT![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/DwgpNod.png)
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/U8sEQaj.png)
