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Sometimes you find out that you're not going to be where you are right now. Sometimes you think that you're not meant to be where you are now. Sometimes you realize that all of that is a choice you can consciously turn your whole life upside down about. I want to say I outgrew this school, but I didn't. You can't outgrow anything you didn't originally fit into. It's really weird, I remember making a blog on here a long time ago it feels like. It was about how I was going to the U and how I wasn't super excited, but how I knew it would work out. I never ended up going to the U. I stayed at Rhodes for 2 years instead of trasnferring out after 1 semester like expected. I had a rough first semester, it showed with my really emotional blogs. Worst depression of my life. I talked about transferring constantly, I didn't feel happy here. Then it all changed up. I found my friend group, we were close, it was everything I wanted out of a college - this was the only time I stopped actively trying to transfer. I thought, after I lost that to expulsions and the reality of college being both difficult and expensive, I could make that back up by rushing.
There's a moment when high school caught up with me. When I didn't get a bid because of people I knew before college, who ended up going to my same college and hate me from high school, I realized that college can't be like this for me. That wasn't growth or change, that was high school. That is being in high school, all over again. I thought that would be the impetus for me to transfer, but that wasn't it. I realize now what I felt, why I felt so off while I've been at this college. It wasn't until I had a fight with my friend after he gave me unsolicited, terribly insulting advice. His advice was to just join any fraternity, to stay at all costs; he told me to grow up, that my understanding of what I want right now was childish - a stable friend group like I knew I had freshman year. I knew then, when he walked out of my room, refusing to talk to me, that I hadn't made a mistake by coming to Rhodes. Yet it hit me that his opinion of me was not the me I wanted to project, but it was a me I couldn't stop from projecting. I've never felt comfortable here. I've never felt myself. The real me isn't perfect, but its far more positive and outgoing than I've felt here.
I'm transferring for next fall. I have the GPA to get where I'm going. I need a new environment, I can't stay in my home town any longer. I can't stay here. Somewhere along the way of questioning why I liked where I am, or where I should be heading. In the small parts of time I've spent feeling like myself here, I realized I grew enormously from being at Rhodes, but I had to grow up here to know here not what I want. I'll be somewhere else later on where life may not be any greener, but I know I can't help but happier having made the choice.
 
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Where are you looking at transferring to Docvoc? I feel like the smartest thing you can do is be honest to yourself and know when you're not doing what is best for yourself.
I definitely know what it's like not to want to stay in your hometown. Best of luck in deciding to transfer, hopefully you enjoy the new school more. The only thing I'd be careful of is making sure that you can afford wherever you transfer to. Some colleges are pretty stingy with financial aid they offer to transfer students.
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I always assumed you were a doctor. I trusted you!
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How big is this college? Can't you just do your own thing away from these people? Not saying getting away wouldn't be a bad thing.
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Sucks that people can't grow up enough to not feel the need to deliberately make your life miserable. If the social scene hinges so much on acceptance to exclusive social groups, sounds toxic, getting out sounds like a good idea. All the best and hope you can find a place with people with more robust maturity and personalities.
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On February 16 2015 03:13 Jerubaal wrote:
How big is this college? Can't you just do your own thing away from these people? Not saying getting away wouldn't be a bad thing.
It's a tiny liberal arts school, like around 2k people I think, a class is less than 300 kids normally. You can't just do your own thing here either, all of social life is either dominated by very tight cliques or fraternity parties. I had the former, but it failed.
Also, thanks OC, workin on that Ph.Docvoc as we speak.
I'm also applying to about 4-5 schools. I know what I want a lot more now in a college. All the places I'm applying have well known philosophy programs (that's my major of choice), and are between 4-20 hours away driving. While 4 hours is close-ish, its not the same as being 30 minutes away.
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On February 16 2015 06:17 docvoc wrote:Show nested quote +On February 16 2015 03:13 Jerubaal wrote:
How big is this college? Can't you just do your own thing away from these people? Not saying getting away wouldn't be a bad thing. It's a tiny liberal arts school, like around 2k people I think, a class is less than 300 kids normally. You can't just do your own thing here either, all of social life is either dominated by very tight cliques or fraternity parties. I had the former, but it failed. Also, thanks OC, workin on that Ph.Docvoc as we speak. I'm also applying to about 4-5 schools. I know what I want a lot more now in a college. All the places I'm applying have well known philosophy programs (that's my major of choice), and are between 4-20 hours away driving. While 4 hours is close-ish, its not the same as being 30 minutes away.
I live two hours away from my house for a similar liberal arts experience (Franklin&Marshall) and it did the trick! Got away from all the people i don't/do want to see again and started anew. I almost always recommend leaving home for college; it's so boring otherwise!
Good luck docvoc, i remember having similar stats when we applied places. I sometimes feel out of place at my school as well; on the football team but not a jock, not a nerd but athletic, i'm not a frat boy, don't listen to country, etc. I feel your pain, though you seem to have it a lot worse than I do.
Good luck figuring it all out!
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20 hour radius? So basically everywhere from Pittsburgh to Tucson? :p
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Darth:
Dude more power to you for getting it all locked in and having a good time. I'm sure I'll eventually get it figured out. The one thing I'll take away from my philosophy classes from Rhodes, no matter where I go, is that the right kind of confusion will always be better than the wrong kind of assurance.
Jerubaal:
Yeah its Miami or Boston College or Vandy or NYU so literally from farthest south to pretty north.
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On February 16 2015 16:57 docvoc wrote:
Darth:
Dude more power to you for getting it all locked in and having a good time. I'm sure I'll eventually get it figured out. The one thing I'll take away from my philosophy classes from Rhodes, no matter where I go, is that the right kind of confusion will always be better than the wrong kind of assurance.
Jerubaal:
Yeah its Miami or Boston College or Vandy or NYU so literally from farthest south to pretty north.
Only thing I'd say about those schools in particular is that NYU offers zero financial aid or scholarship money for the most part. It's a good school and idk your financial situation, but don't go there if it's going to cost you $60k/year and will bring you massive debt.
Also, make sure that you find at least one school that you'd be happy to go to that would constitute a "safety." You may want to look into applying to a school like Fordham, Rutgers, or Temple that you could almost definitely get accepted to so that you don't end up shut out of transferring. And Chocolate from these forums is going to Vanderbilt, so you may want to try and PM him and find out what Vanderbilt is like if you could.
Good luck with transferring!
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On February 16 2015 21:12 MtlGuitarist97 wrote:Show nested quote +On February 16 2015 16:57 docvoc wrote:
Darth:
Dude more power to you for getting it all locked in and having a good time. I'm sure I'll eventually get it figured out. The one thing I'll take away from my philosophy classes from Rhodes, no matter where I go, is that the right kind of confusion will always be better than the wrong kind of assurance.
Jerubaal:
Yeah its Miami or Boston College or Vandy or NYU so literally from farthest south to pretty north. Only thing I'd say about those schools in particular is that NYU offers zero financial aid or scholarship money for the most part. It's a good school and idk your financial situation, but don't go there if it's going to cost you $60k/year and will bring you massive debt. Also, make sure that you find at least one school that you'd be happy to go to that would constitute a "safety." You may want to look into applying to a school like Fordham, Rutgers, or Temple that you could almost definitely get accepted to so that you don't end up shut out of transferring. And Chocolate from these forums is going to Vanderbilt, so you may want to try and PM him and find out what Vanderbilt is like if you could. Good luck with transferring!
Miami is my safety. I've previously been accepted there and I've been sent mailed information asking me to transfer so I think its a safe choice and its my #1.
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some thoughts:
while the stuff you described obviously contributed to your blues, you're still gonna have similar issues no matter where you go. you might wanna get a handle on that first, or even considering taking a semester off and traveling/working to gain some new perspectives.
do not spent 45k/yr to study philosophy at nyu dude. you might as well do what the joker did in the dark knight and burn a big stack of money. way more cool way to piss away your money
unless you're getting a ride or you have really generous parents, the cost of the school should be majorly factoring in here since you are studying stuff that has few jobs and a very low income rate
good luck!
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What area of PHI are you studying?
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EPT
