On October 03 2014 08:04 micronesia wrote:I will share my thoughts as I read this work.
This isn't just about something being absent. This is about something being
completely absent. Therefore, I think the 'thing' that is absent will not be a single object but rather something that has degrees of intensity.
Oh, it sounds like times were bad, but now they will be good. Obviously I want to know what has changed and how things have taken a turn for the better.
While I understand that the author is thanking the Lord for His part in whatever has improved his life, I feel like it's odd to refer to the Lord's actions as a
mission, as though the Lord were assigned this task.
I have no idea what the Brahmin are.
Nary a thing what?
That's a pretty bold claim that you have overlooked nothing. I don't really see where this confidence is coming from. I mean, you were originally in a pretty shitty place, and it was the Lord who delivered you to a better situation. Why are you so confident in your perception of your situation?
Ah, now I see that the mission was yours rather than the Lord's. Now I'm curious to know what it is you did to improve your situation so much. Without reading ahead I take it from the word usage 'nearly' that your body has been all but destroyed. However, since your situation is supposedly so much better than it used to be, you must have attained some type of spiritual resolution.
Ah, I was right.
Time to do what? I'm guessing I'll find out on the next line.
Oh, I was wrong. The previous line implied you are
about to do something, and yet the current line specifies that you just
took the action, so now I'm confused which it was. Apparently, this action you took was enlightening somehow. This might be the
mission you were referring to above.
I thought your mission was accomplished, but now you say you are departing from it. I guess you didn't need to complete the mission to derive the above benefits from it?
How to serve who? Also, you thanked the Lord earlier for your successful completion of your mission, but you are labeling the mission self-ordained. Just what was this mission you speak of.
Ah, so the mission involved helping others somehow. Perhaps the ignorance you lifted in others is the same ignorance that was lifted from you at the onset of this mission.
I am not sure what you are referring to by 'the elders,' whether you mean it literally or in a religious context. Also, your usage of 'yah' seems surprisingly colloquial given the rest of the text.
I thought the whole point was how you saved yourself, and now you are saying it is time to save yourself. What the fuck is the point of the entire poem then?
This emoticon implies an ulterior motive to the post. Perhaps your goal was to write a bad poem, then play it off as trolling?
Also, I have no idea what was completely absent.
EPT
