Aspergers syndrome clinically, but I prefer weird. My life sucks, most people would tend to agree, and I should probably be contemplating killing myself, since we're being quite frank.
Yet. Almost with a sense of shame I have to admit. I like being me.
I like being so committed to a thought that I stare into nothingness, freaking people out.
I like queuing my 734th consecutive custom game on Overgrowth LE because my brain gets high on repetition and predictability over the chaos of ladder.
I like listening to my friends and family, enjoying their presence without saying too much myself.
I like not missing them when they're gone.
I like being alone and thinking about the world.
Lying in bed. Head resting in my palms. Staring up through the ceiling. Only the faint ticking of the clock reminding me night is still going by outside.
4:32.
I pick up my notebook to write down what won't go to sleep.
Read that...there are many more theories like this, it might just be genetics from the past...nothing to do with dysfunction.
But its just wrong to use labels, it also has a huge impact on the person's self confidence..
Trust me man, some of the more succesful and genius people are a bit weird...if not the majority of them. I recently went to a keynote about copyrights in the creative sector...and all those business owners there...were pretty weird..and they dont even care about it because they know they have made it in life. Use it as a strength and source of confidence instead of thinking to much about it...
Its a strength, not a weakness, be proud that you stand out from the crowd...its those people who achieve great things.
I'm a very shy and calm person, especially at crowded places where I don't know most of the people. Yesterday, I went to a party, where I only knew about one third of the guests well, and as the night went on, I found myself sitting alone in a chair, observing what was going on. I didn't drink or do other drugs, which made it kind of interesting to see how people interact when they're getting wasted. (and by "wasted" I mean "we've got stuff that keeps us awake for 2 days, yaaay")
I witnessed this wonderful piece of dialogue: Girl: "So, tell me, what does this stuff do with your perception?" Guy: "Can't really tell yet." Girl: "Are you still able to distinguish between objects and their shadows?" Guy: "Yeah. But...I feel like a shadow."
So this is what some people do to themselves to feel different. But they're emptying themselves by doing that. Digging a hole.
You're weird? That's perfectly okay. Embrace your weirdness. Don't try to act against your will. Because you might end up feeling like a shadow.
On August 20 2014 22:47 Rotodyne wrote: Everyone is weird
Yeah, this is pretty much it. Just keep making yourself happy, you only get one shot at a life so do everything you can to make yourself happy. Don't sacrifice happiness to "fit in" in other people's versions of how to fit in lol.
I think accepting yourself for who you are is the best thing to do in general. To me, it sounds like you've done just that, good stuff to hear As mentioned, everyone is weird in their own way so don't take that as a negative thing either. We're all unique, just like snowflakes:
Personally, I think some people are a lot weirder than most people. And I think it's worth acknowledge them. People that are really different will have a much larger gap to cross in order to understand and be understood by others. The more you stray from the norm, the higher is the chance that it'll be hard to fit into society. This is worth acknowledging, it's mean not to do it. As time passes, society will hopefully open up more and more for how different people really can be, and it'll be easier to be weird.
I think it's ok to feel a bit sorry for one self if you are different, but it's important to understand that it won't actually make things better in the long run. You'll either have to learn how to adapt to the world so that you can survive as you are, despite not actually fitting into the puzzle, or you might be able to change yourself to the point where you can pretend to be like others. The later alternative is much sadder (but possibly easier), so make sure to save a bit of yourself, and constantly re-evaluate if it's worth it. If it's not just return to your old self .
In the end it will be worth it, the world is so awesome it's crazy. And you seem to like yourself as you are also, which is great. Just ignore all negative opinions people may have about your life, there might be very many of them, but not everyone thinks like that. How unlikely that might seem.
People will probably give me shit for this, but whateva
Stay strong, keep on keeping on, Everyone is weird, and anyone who thinks they are normal, is probably even weirder then you or I....I am also a really weird person and I understand what you are going through. Just try to remember that you are what you think you are. Keep going!
wow dude just be glad you are gay. I think being gay with asbergers is way better than being straight with it, cause you can always find a dude who is dtf no matter how weird you are.
On August 21 2014 11:50 kushm4sta wrote: wow dude just be glad you are gay. I think being gay with asbergers is way better than being straight with it, cause you can always find a dude who is dtf no matter how weird you are.
EPT
