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Disaster with a girl

Blogs > Psychobabas
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1 2 3 Next All
Psychobabas
Profile Blog Joined March 2006
2531 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-06-03 02:30:37
June 03 2014 02:28 GMT
#1
The worst possible situation imaginable. I'm not going to provide much of a back-story just the simple cold-hearted facts.

I went out to a club this weekend, with the aim of getting closer to a certain girl I was interested in.
Unfortunately I got quite drunk and can barely remember much apart from dancing like a maniac and drinking these cheap alcopops, some beer, and some random shots of tequila and vodka.

Anyway I managed to be invited to her flat. Problem was, she had a couple of flat-mates. So naturally, I started talking to them, you know, to show how nice I am, with the hope that they would get bored and fuck off and I end up with the girl on my own.

Well, after just a bit of chatting (not sure exactly how long) I felt really, really ill. The whole room started spinning, I got a terrible stomach ache and felt I really had to go to the toilet not only for vomiting but also for taking a shit. It was a horrendous feeling. I think I got messed up by the dumb taxi driver who was taking the curves like a madman and making me really dizzy.

So I asked where the toilet was and made a run for it.

And here is where disaster occurred.

As I pulled my trousers down (pants) diarrhea sprayed all over the toilet bowl, inside and on the plastic. At the same time I felt this pressure in my chest and vomit started spewing. I tried to hang on for dear life. Thankfully the sink was really close to the toilet so I stretched out and vomited in the sink while spraying diarrhea all over the toilet and floor.

But the agony of vomiting made me also pee (probably all those beers). At this point I didn't give a shit. I was in such a state I just peed all over the floor.

And then she walked in as I didn't even close or lock the door.

I'll leave you with what she saw:

http://imgur.com/iBE3S8U

After cleaning up, I was in too much a state (or so I heard) that they called a taxi for me and sent me home.

She didn't call me on Sunday or today. Regards.



****
RZAMazz
Profile Joined September 2011
Canada30 Posts
June 03 2014 02:34 GMT
#2
That photo made me laugh so hard, I'm sorry to hear that tho so like best of luck in the future.
lichter
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
1001 YEARS KESPAJAIL22272 Posts
June 03 2014 02:36 GMT
#3
And this is why you learn exactly how much to drink and have the discipline never to go over the limit

also I'm glad I didn't read this before lunch
AdministratorYOU MUST HEED MY INSTRUCTIONS TAKE OFF YOUR THIIIINGS
ThomasjServo
Profile Blog Joined May 2012
15244 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-06-03 02:39:00
June 03 2014 02:38 GMT
#4
Well, I think we learned a valuable lesson that night didn't we?

    1. A club is a shit place to get to know anyone. (No pun intended).
    2. Drunkenly engaging roommates does not sexual success make.
    3. Mind rates of consumption if your goal lies beyond a hookup.



That being said, I am sorry for the state of things because as far as mornings after goes, I have had some rough ones.

+ Show Spoiler +
[image loading]


Time heals all wounds, plumbing may be a different story. Make sure you at least apologize, if nothing else. I know a married couple whose first night together involved her pissing the bed and vomiting in a frisbee. Can't let abject shame get in the way of social respect. Offer to clean it up as well.
docvoc
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
United States5491 Posts
June 03 2014 02:40 GMT
#5
Probably why you don't ever want to drink more than whoever you're going after.
User was warned for too many mimes.
ThomasjServo
Profile Blog Joined May 2012
15244 Posts
June 03 2014 02:47 GMT
#6
On June 03 2014 11:40 docvoc wrote:
Probably why you don't ever want to drink more than whoever you're going after.

That doesn't sound predatory at all XD
Jerubaal
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
United States7684 Posts
June 03 2014 02:59 GMT
#7
Think of it as a mental handicap. Wait..that didn't come out right..
I'm not stupid, a marauder just shot my brain.
teddyoojo
Profile Blog Joined June 2011
Germany22369 Posts
June 03 2014 03:12 GMT
#8
5 stars for the painting, would click again
Esports historian since 2000. Creator of 'The Universe' and 'The best scrambled Eggs 2013'. Host of 'Star Wars Marathon 2015'. Thinker of 'teddyoojo's Thoughts'. Earths and Moons leading CS:GO expert. Lord of the Rings.
GoTuNk!
Profile Blog Joined September 2006
Chile4591 Posts
June 03 2014 03:19 GMT
#9
have you tried to call her? Just play it like it wasn't a big deal and ask her somewhere to "make her up" for it.

Also, I've vomitted and pass out tons of times, but I've never evacuated 2 way/3way. That's a story for your grand kids :D
8mmspikes
Profile Joined January 2012
United States1704 Posts
June 03 2014 03:37 GMT
#10
Rest in pieces
Suppy fan | ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ WELL MET ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ | http://www.twitter.com/8mmspikes
vult
Profile Blog Joined February 2012
United States9400 Posts
June 03 2014 03:56 GMT
#11
Looks like you had an unfortunate evening, sir.
I used to play random, but for you I play very specifically.
REDBLUEGREEN
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
Germany1903 Posts
June 03 2014 03:57 GMT
#12
LOL opened the flood gates. Puking, pissing and shitting at the same time?
The feeling of relief must be greater then during an orgasm + you got an epic story =D
win-win?
Lokian
Profile Joined March 2010
United States699 Posts
June 03 2014 04:27 GMT
#13
I call BS on this story. Nobody can pee, puke and shit at the same time.
Watch my gaming channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/BedinSpace
hoby2000
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
United States918 Posts
June 03 2014 04:47 GMT
#14
On June 03 2014 13:27 Lokian wrote:
I call BS on this story. Nobody can pee, puke and shit at the same time.



Ditto. Not only that, but I know I've read this EXACT story somewhere else on a different forum years ago. It's like the butt shaving one where the dude decides he's going to shave his ass only to realize his butt cheeks get stuck together now because he doesn't have any hair to prevent the sweat from staying or some shit like that.
A lesson without pain is meaningless for nothing can be gained without giving something in return.
Titusmaster6
Profile Blog Joined September 2007
United States5937 Posts
June 03 2014 04:48 GMT
#15
Bro I feel for you...better luck in the future. What an experience though.
Shorts down shorts up, BOOM, just like that.
konadora *
Profile Blog Joined February 2009
Singapore66172 Posts
June 03 2014 05:14 GMT
#16
how is it possible to puke and shit and pee at the same time wtf lol

i swear i read this story somewhere tho
POGGERS
HaruHaru
Profile Blog Joined November 2009
United States988 Posts
June 03 2014 05:41 GMT
#17
this thread reminds me of this other story that i think was posted on the body building forum a long time ago. it involved a similar story except the guy shat in a bath tub because he had an erection and diahhrea at the same time. if this story sounds familiar to anyone can you post it?
Long live BroodWar!
Scarecrow
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
Korea (South)9172 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-06-03 06:15:43
June 03 2014 06:15 GMT
#18
On June 03 2014 13:27 Lokian wrote:
I call BS on this story. Nobody can pee, puke and shit at the same time.

Peeing and shitting simultaneously isn't hard and i've had first hand experience doing the puke shit combo. A trifecta's certainly possible
Yhamm is the god of predictions
CecilSunkure
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
United States2829 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-06-03 06:33:14
June 03 2014 06:32 GMT
#19
Real or not that picture was hilarious.

Hahaha you even color coded the hot and cold water facets
Yoshi Kirishima
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
United States10345 Posts
June 03 2014 07:35 GMT
#20
i like the picture, the eyes are great :D
Mid-master streaming MECH ONLY + commentary www.twitch.tv/yoshikirishima +++ "If all-in fails, all-in again."
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