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Active: 13394 users

Ruby sucks, a poem

Blogs > Alzadar
Post a Reply
Alzadar
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
Canada5009 Posts
January 31 2014 17:29 GMT
#1
def ruby_is_the_ugliest_language(why_use_it_ever)
all_the_clutter_of_scheme(but,none,of,the,elegance)
duck = get_thing # is this real
duck = get_banana # why would you do this to me
duck = get_firetruck # fuck I give up
mystery = is_this_a_method_or_a_variable
did_I_mention_the_ugly_naming_standard = true
ruby_annoys_me.each do |day|
get_mildly_convenient_loop_syntax
unless is_it_worth_it?
ruby_sucks
end
end
Thread.new {
multithreading_is_a_joke = true
}
end
end
end
end


****
I am the Town Medic.
MysteryMeat1
Profile Blog Joined June 2011
United States3292 Posts
January 31 2014 19:14 GMT
#2
mystery is a method.
"Cause ya know, Style before victory." -The greatest mafia player alive
Alzadar
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
Canada5009 Posts
January 31 2014 19:19 GMT
#3
On February 01 2014 04:14 MysteryMeat1 wrote:
mystery is a method.


Maybe, maybe not. You can't know without seeing more. Even if you saw the method definition you wouldn't know for sure.

Consider:

mystery = 4

def mystery
return 2
end

puts mystery


This won't even complain about the ambiguity, it just outputs 4. This is why Ruby sucks.
I am the Town Medic.
rafaliusz
Profile Joined December 2009
Poland482 Posts
January 31 2014 19:33 GMT
#4
Does that code actually work?
Alzadar
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
Canada5009 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-01-31 19:49:35
January 31 2014 19:48 GMT
#5
On February 01 2014 04:33 rafaliusz wrote:
Does that code actually work?


It's correct syntax (other than the three superfluous end statements at the bottom), yes.
I am the Town Medic.
Chairman Ray
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
United States11903 Posts
January 31 2014 19:50 GMT
#6
Ah Ruby, I hated it so much.
Alzadar
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
Canada5009 Posts
January 31 2014 20:01 GMT
#7
On February 01 2014 04:50 Chairman Ray wrote:
Ah Ruby, I hated it so much.


Seriously though, duck typing may be fine for a teaching language or a small personal project, but when you're digging through and debugging huge files and/or trying to use big libraries, it's like, what the FUCK does this method return? What kind of shit is this variable holding? What asshole named this method to_m?

end

Also Ruby can't multithread for shit, all you end up doing is context switching on a single core and making everything take 3x as long.
I am the Town Medic.
hp.Shell
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
United States2527 Posts
January 31 2014 20:39 GMT
#8
On February 01 2014 04:14 MysteryMeat1 wrote:
mystery is a method.

lol, +1, high five sir.
Please PM me with any songs you like that you think I haven't heard before!
Logo
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
United States7542 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-01-31 22:25:12
January 31 2014 22:24 GMT
#9
On February 01 2014 05:01 Alzadar wrote:
Show nested quote +
On February 01 2014 04:50 Chairman Ray wrote:
Ah Ruby, I hated it so much.


Seriously though, duck typing may be fine for a teaching language or a small personal project, but when you're digging through and debugging huge files and/or trying to use big libraries, it's like, what the FUCK does this method return? What kind of shit is this variable holding? What asshole named this method to_m?

end

Also Ruby can't multithread for shit, all you end up doing is context switching on a single core and making everything take 3x as long.


Ehhh depends on your developers. If people are good about not being terrible, duck typing can save you a ton of code and still remain workable on large projects. Less so for primitives where it's annoying, but it's nice for some functions that aren't distinct enough to create an object hierarchy for (say load and unload if you're dealing with some sort of widget type things).

Plus it avoids an equally annoying bloat you see in large projects where you have someone doing:
addNumbers(int i, int j)
addNumbers(string i, string j)
addNumbers(int i, string j)
addNumbers(string i, int j)
addNumbers(float i, float j)
... and on and on...
Logo
Alzadar
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
Canada5009 Posts
January 31 2014 22:39 GMT
#10
On February 01 2014 07:24 Logo wrote:
Show nested quote +
On February 01 2014 05:01 Alzadar wrote:
On February 01 2014 04:50 Chairman Ray wrote:
Ah Ruby, I hated it so much.


Seriously though, duck typing may be fine for a teaching language or a small personal project, but when you're digging through and debugging huge files and/or trying to use big libraries, it's like, what the FUCK does this method return? What kind of shit is this variable holding? What asshole named this method to_m?

end

Also Ruby can't multithread for shit, all you end up doing is context switching on a single core and making everything take 3x as long.


Ehhh depends on your developers. If people are good about not being terrible, duck typing can save you a ton of code and still remain workable on large projects. Less so for primitives where it's annoying, but it's nice for some functions that aren't distinct enough to create an object hierarchy for (say load and unload if you're dealing with some sort of widget type things).

Plus it avoids an equally annoying bloat you see in large projects where you have someone doing:
addNumbers(int i, int j)
addNumbers(string i, string j)
addNumbers(int i, string j)
addNumbers(string i, int j)
addNumbers(float i, float j)
... and on and on...


You could achieve a similar thing via regular polymorphism, although that takes a decent amount of foresight and would be hard to implement retroactively.
I am the Town Medic.
docvoc
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
United States5491 Posts
January 31 2014 23:19 GMT
#11
I was so sure this was gonna be about pokemon and I was about to get in here and defend that game to death lol.
User was warned for too many mimes.
Tufas
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
Austria2259 Posts
January 31 2014 23:24 GMT
#12
On February 01 2014 08:19 docvoc wrote:
I was so sure this was gonna be about pokemon and I was about to get in here and defend that game to death lol.


Same thought, but I just wanted to see TL burn.
Where is my ACE flair
Otolia
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
France5805 Posts
February 01 2014 10:28 GMT
#13
Had to dev a FTP in ruby and when I realized there was no high-level storage from ruby-objects to yaml in ruby I cried. Still there is far worse than Ruby.

*shrugs* FORTRAN *shrugs*
Chef
Profile Blog Joined August 2005
10810 Posts
February 01 2014 13:57 GMT
#14
Rails is excellent for quickly developing web-applications. Choose the right tool for the right job. Of course there's certain annoying things about Ruby and the asset pipeline can be frustrating.
LEGEND!! LEGEND!!
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