|
So I have decided that next week I'll be leaving college. I hoped that I can last longer there, but what you gonna do. Engineering is just not for me, at least right now. I've approached it with a wrong mindset, and that definitely didn't help.
Right now I'm feeling kind of empty. I don't know why, maybe I'm depressed, maybe happy, maybe just coming to terms that I didn't cut it. What the future holds for me, I don't know. Next week I'm having a surgery after which I won't be able to do pretty much anything for the next 3 months - no speaking nor physical activities.
After the recovery time I'm pretty much free to do whatever I want. I don't know what I'll be doing though. I may be working or perhaps doing drivers license, or maybe I'm preparing for compulsory army service.
I have no idea what to do in all honesty. I'm thinking of learning a trade like cooking. Would I enjoy it, I don't know. I mean I like to eat food, especially good one, but would I enjoy doing it all day long in a small kitchen? Perhaps I should learn welding, that should make good money, but then again my eyesight is already pretty bad so I don't really want to risk further worsening.
I sometimes have suicidal thoughts and then I bury them again, because those are stupid. But last night I started wondering, what if something in my head goes off, and I actually do it. Thought of that is so scary.
In recent times I read a book called Flowers for Algernon which I thought was fantastic. After that I got the idea that I should do a IQ-test somewhere, just to see how stupid or smart I am. I don't know where to do a legit one, as I don't really trust those internet test. Anyways I predict that I'd score about 80 or 90, as I consider myself to be below the average intelligence (why else am I so clumsy, and everything takes me twice as long to understand, and why I can't focus on anything for too long until I get bored of it?)
I'm just sitting here and not doing anything useful. Exams are coming but I'm not going - pointless. I tried playing another game for a change, but got bored of it in 30 minutes, tried another one, also got bored. The games were Assassins Creed and Bastion. I bought them when they were on sale with the Humble Bundle/Steam, but I don't know why I even bought them, not going to enjoy them anytime soon. Back to dota I guess
Yesterday I was browsing through TV channels and found that a local channel was showing 500 Days of Summer. Although I'd already seen it, I decided to rewatch, and concluded that it's still a good movie.
I guess there's nothing else to do than keep going forward
|
I wouldnt advise going into the army with your mindset, you will either hate it or become a fanatic brainwashed.
The biggest advice i would give to you is to do some voluntary work for some charity or community organisation back home, this will help you meet people, let you give back to the community, occupy your time and find a sense in life.
I feel what you are going trough and I would like to be able to talk to you face to face but i guess this will do
|
He doesn't have a choice with the army part, it's compulsory.
I just read Flowers for Algernon too  . I didn't rate it as highly as a friend who recommended it, but it's a good book. I especially liked how it influenced characters in Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep and Iain M Banks' Feersum Endjinn. I doubt you'd have an IQ of less than 100. But IQ tests are fairly bogus anyway so read nothing into whatever your score may be.
Explore the suicidal thoughts further. Perhaps talk to a psychologist.
And 500 Days of Summer is great. I should rewatch it.
|
Talk to a psychologist.
Cooking as a career is insanely demanding. If you search, I know at least one dude here went that path and blogged about it. 12-14 days 6 days a week in an insanely demanding environment for little pay. Unless you loooooove cooking (and maybe hate yourself!) it probably isn't for you.
Other trades are worth looking into! Use your down time from surgery to research some different things. Leaving college isn't necessarily a bad thing so long as you use that time to explore your options and return/start a trade/start a meaningful career. Just don't let it turn out that your career is working at McDonald's
|
On January 06 2014 02:45 QuanticHawk wrote:
Talk to a psychologist.
Cooking as a career is insanely demanding. If you search, I know at least one dude here went that path and blogged about it. 12-14 days 6 days a week in an insanely demanding environment for little pay. Unless you loooooove cooking (and maybe hate yourself!) it probably isn't for you.
Other trades are worth looking into! Use your down time from surgery to research some different things. Leaving college isn't necessarily a bad thing so long as you use that time to explore your options and return/start a trade/start a meaningful career. Just don't let it turn out that your career is working at McDonald's
QuanticHawk strikes again!
Sort of... I was expecting something a bit more acerbic and witty... 
Farvacola's been slipping too... maybe it's the end of an era ;-;
|
I reserve my pithy comments for douchebags and know-it-alls, not random people who are just down on their luck
|
I think that intensive jobs like proffessional cooking that require you to put in at least 12 hours of work a day are only suitable for those who know and enjoy the work. I guess the same would go for the army. Don't forget that although something isn't appealing to you it can become so over time. Glgl
|
|
|
|
|
|
EPT
