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WTF Kids?!

Blogs > TheRabidDeer
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TheRabidDeer
Profile Blog Joined May 2003
United States3806 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-11-01 00:30:27
November 01 2013 00:30 GMT
#1
What the hell is with kids, man? Handing out candy for Halloween, so I just hold the bowl out and tell them to pick one. Big group of kids comes around, and the first 2 or 3 in line take like 2 big handfuls and I am just like, "whoa whoa, just 1 or we won't have enough for everybody". One of the kids looks me dead in the eyes and says, "just one?" then quickly grabs another handful and disappears into the crowd.

The fuck, kid?

****
Grobyc
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
Canada18410 Posts
November 01 2013 00:31 GMT
#2
Chase that motherfucker down.

JUST. ONE.
If you watch Godzilla backwards it's about a benevolent lizard who helps rebuild a city and then moonwalks into the ocean.
NeuroticPsychosis
Profile Blog Joined September 2013
United States322 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-11-01 00:33:44
November 01 2013 00:32 GMT
#3
That's why you give them candy with your own hands and don't let them just take as many as they want. I don't care you like Milky Way or Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, you're getting a Kit Kat son.
intricate, elaborate, articulate, crystallize, conceptualize, synthesize
TheRabidDeer
Profile Blog Joined May 2003
United States3806 Posts
November 01 2013 00:33 GMT
#4
On November 01 2013 09:32 NeuroticPsychosis wrote:
That's why you give them candy with your own hands and don't let them just take as much as they want.

Yea, but I want kids to be able to choose what they want instead of being stuck with candy they don't like. We got a big variety bag that has like 10 different kinds. Like me, I love twix but hate almond joy's, if I got stuck with an almond joy I would be sad. Kids are trying to ruin it for everybody!
Souma
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
2nd Worst City in CA8938 Posts
November 01 2013 00:39 GMT
#5
Nah man, kids will just trade the candy they don't like. That's also a fun part of Halloween! Just give 'em like two or three each. That way they can't call you stingy and you may have enough for everyone :d
Writer
Meru
Profile Blog Joined January 2012
United States219 Posts
November 01 2013 00:41 GMT
#6
I dislike kids in general, but when I meet an extra obnoxious one like that, I always imagine how far they would fly if I punt them.
Graphics"Learn lots. Don't judge. Laugh for no reason. Be nice. Seek happiness."
SnipedSoul
Profile Joined November 2010
Canada2158 Posts
November 01 2013 00:43 GMT
#7
Tell them that some of the candy is poisoned and they need to choose wisely.
TheRabidDeer
Profile Blog Joined May 2003
United States3806 Posts
November 01 2013 00:47 GMT
#8
On November 01 2013 09:43 SnipedSoul wrote:
Tell them that some of the candy is poisoned and they need to choose wisely.

American parents are too paranoid for that. If I said that I would have the police at my door.
SnipedSoul
Profile Joined November 2010
Canada2158 Posts
November 01 2013 00:53 GMT
#9
Tell them that some of the candy is socialist and they need to choose wisely. That will put a scare in 'em!
Mothra
Profile Blog Joined November 2009
United States1448 Posts
November 01 2013 00:54 GMT
#10
No worries he'll be morbidly obese in 10 years.
TheRabidDeer
Profile Blog Joined May 2003
United States3806 Posts
November 01 2013 01:00 GMT
#11
On November 01 2013 09:53 SnipedSoul wrote:
Tell them that some of the candy is socialist and they need to choose wisely. That will put a scare in 'em!

Since I live in Houston, mother of god that would be terrifying to them!
On November 01 2013 09:54 Mothra wrote:
No worries he'll be morbidly obese in 10 years.

He was black, so probably diabetes too.
Targe
Profile Blog Joined February 2012
United Kingdom14103 Posts
November 01 2013 01:06 GMT
#12
On November 01 2013 09:31 Grobyc wrote:
Chase that motherfucker down.

JUST. ONE.

hahaha
11/5/14 CATACLYSM | The South West's worst Falco main
The_Templar
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
your Country52798 Posts
November 01 2013 01:29 GMT
#13
I gave out one piece of candy to each person.
Almost nobody complained, probably because our decor scared the bajeezus out of them, but still.
ModeratorI am still alive, somehow
TL+ Member
micronesia
Profile Blog Joined July 2006
United States24777 Posts
November 01 2013 01:30 GMT
#14
I suggest two pieces per kid unless they are large pieces. My family has always had two bowls; one with small pieces of candy and another with small bags of pretzels, and instructed kids to take one from each.

Would be hilarious, albeit a terrible idea, for you to overreact and just chase after the kid, demanding your candy back.
ModeratorThere are animal crackers for people and there are people crackers for animals.
TheRabidDeer
Profile Blog Joined May 2003
United States3806 Posts
November 01 2013 01:36 GMT
#15
On November 01 2013 10:30 micronesia wrote:
I suggest two pieces per kid unless they are large pieces. My family has always had two bowls; one with small pieces of candy and another with small bags of pretzels, and instructed kids to take one from each.

Would be hilarious, albeit a terrible idea, for you to overreact and just chase after the kid, demanding your candy back.

The neighborhood I am in is quite busy. Handing out 1 piece per person (aside from these dick kids) I ran out after about 45 minutes with 2 gigantic mixed bags.
sluggaslamoo
Profile Blog Joined November 2009
Australia4494 Posts
November 01 2013 01:46 GMT
#16
Next time hire a bouncer.
Come play Android Netrunner - http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=409008
Jerubaal
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
United States7684 Posts
November 01 2013 03:08 GMT
#17
When I was younger (grew up in south Texas) my mom would tell me that crazy people in Houston put glass in candy.
I'm not stupid, a marauder just shot my brain.
TheRabidDeer
Profile Blog Joined May 2003
United States3806 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-11-01 03:57:05
November 01 2013 03:46 GMT
#18
On November 01 2013 12:08 Jerubaal wrote:
When I was younger (grew up in south Texas) my mom would tell me that crazy people in Houston put glass in candy.

This rumor goes everywhere. If not glass, then razors. Sometimes injected poison. I was taught to inspect my candy to see if it had been tampered with when I was younger.

EDIT: I grew up on new mexico
Jerubaal
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
United States7684 Posts
November 01 2013 04:13 GMT
#19
On November 01 2013 12:46 TheRabidDeer wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 01 2013 12:08 Jerubaal wrote:
When I was younger (grew up in south Texas) my mom would tell me that crazy people in Houston put glass in candy.

This rumor goes everywhere. If not glass, then razors. Sometimes injected poison. I was taught to inspect my candy to see if it had been tampered with when I was younger.

EDIT: I grew up on new mexico


I guess it's just one of those things parents do to make their kids paranoid and be super careful.
I'm not stupid, a marauder just shot my brain.
StarStruck
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
25339 Posts
November 01 2013 04:17 GMT
#20
Kids are immoral. Heck, that's why we use them in so many horror movies. There will always be one who decides to grab several when you hold out the bowl.
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