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I've been MIA for a while, I'll write more about what I've been doing, there's a lot to write, so I'll just write them bit by bit in different blogs.
The Three Cornerstones of Attraction
A woman's attraction for you, at any time, can be measured by the lowest of the three cornerstones of attraction.
Value
Your value in the woman's eyes. Your social value, your attractive traits. Think, health, confidence, charisma and humor. Your niche value. Are you a bodybuilder, a scholar, a world traveler?
Your value to her, think of social value, universally attractive traits, humour, charisma, confidence, status, etc.
Investment
How much she's invested in her relationship with you. How much, time, effort and money she's put into her interactions with you.
Believability
Whether she believes the sincerity of your words and your actions. Your connection to her. What does she know about you?
This knowledge I learned really helped me with my interactions with females, because whenever I had an interaction that went wrong, I could always look back at the three cornerstones of attraction, and see where I screwed up. Hope this helps you guys and tell me what you think about it!
  
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"Value," as you describe it, should be "Concept." - You do not list values, but conceptions.
"Believability" should, more precisely, be "Trust."
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you should post a pic of her since you don't give a shit if the internet knows her 
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Man I still remember all your past blogs  how you can move on dude. T_T
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So when you first meet a woman and she`s invested virtually nothing in you, her attraction is based on that value?
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99% sure she was off birth control can you just became a daddy. Congrats!
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My approach is to always leave exes where they are: in the past.
It's really hard to detach emotionally, you don't want to get involved with her again. A good fuck is not worth weeks of pain, in my opinion.
On the other hand I can date someone casually for years without any problem, but only if I don't feel attachment.
I had a similar experience with an ex that broke up with me *very* badly for no reason after a *very* long and happy relationship. She ended up dating a dude she said she would never date, only to break up with him a few months later saying "it was obvious it could never work". I don't talk to her anymore, I traveled the world since then, and my life has improved by so fucking much it's almost unbelievable.
TL;DR: forget about your ex, focus on improving your life.
Edit: I see now that you live in Singapore. I also live there. It can be a pretty unforgiving and lonely place at times: it feels like a meat grinder and it's hard to make emotional connections. Just hold on and enjoy the good sides of life.
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On August 07 2013 08:20 Scarecrow wrote:
So when you first meet a woman and she`s invested virtually nothing in you, her attraction is based on that value?
Well and if she knows nothing about you then yeah, its purely value. That is especially true in nightclub settings. First impressions are really important, are you well dressed, well groomed, your body langauge etc..
A lot of guys mostly just work on value without caring about the rest. Believability is important because it makes a girl think that you're not just 'some' guy. What does she know about you, what do you know about her?
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On August 07 2013 12:43 lisward wrote:Show nested quote +On August 07 2013 08:20 Scarecrow wrote:
So when you first meet a woman and she`s invested virtually nothing in you, her attraction is based on that value? Well and if she knows nothing about you then yeah, its purely value. That is especially true in nightclub settings. First impressions are really important, are you well dressed, well groomed, your body langauge etc..
Yet you say, at any time, attraction is measured by the lowest of the three cornerstones. In which case a first meeting's attraction is based on time/money investment, which makes no sense. Trying to simplify attraction into three categories and an arbitrary system just isn't going to work as more than a gimmick to sell shit to desperate singles. Attraction is too subjective. There are so many factors involved and how they are valued varies from person to person and changes regularly over the length of a relationship.
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sleeping with people and doing drugs is indicative of the mania phase now, eh dr phil??
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3 cornerstones of Attraction: Money, more Money, Fucking MOAR Money.
Ex: Hugh Hefner
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it takes a bit more than money but ok
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On August 07 2013 13:36 Scarecrow wrote:Show nested quote +On August 07 2013 12:43 lisward wrote:On August 07 2013 08:20 Scarecrow wrote:
So when you first meet a woman and she`s invested virtually nothing in you, her attraction is based on that value? Well and if she knows nothing about you then yeah, its purely value. That is especially true in nightclub settings. First impressions are really important, are you well dressed, well groomed, your body langauge etc.. Yet you say, at any time, attraction is measured by the lowest of the three cornerstones. In which case a first meeting's attraction is based on time/money investment, which makes no sense. Trying to simplify attraction into three categories and an arbitrary system just isn't going to work as more than a gimmick to sell shit to desperate singles. Attraction is too subjective. There are so many factors involved and how they are valued varies from person to person and changes regularly over the length of a relationship.
What do you mean by a first meeting? Glancing over your shoulder and having your eyes meet with a womans? That isn't a meeting, and it's not very likely she's going to be attracted to you unless you guys talk. When you talk to a woman you build investment and believability, assuming she's invested in your conversation. It's a pretty accurate model that works. It is true that a lot of things are subjective, what a woman perceives in you is subjective, how she values you, is subjective, what's investment to her, is subjective, but if you aren't stupid you can use your own judgement. Investment is a good example. People always, always bitch about having to buy a girl a drink, and they here on the internet that some people swear never to do that, but you hear others not to be a cheap skate. Because every guys investment is subjective. A poor college kid who buys a drink for every woman he talks to has already invested something significant in the interaction without the woman having to do anything, whereas Sir Richard Branson buying drinks for the women he meets doesn't mean shit because he's rich.
Well yeah her behavior right now pretty much indicates that, not just the drug, alcohol and sleeping pill abuse, but among other things. She does have bi-polar disorder like i've mentioned, but who cares. She's some married guys problem now.
Fact, people who think women are purely attracted to money are usually losers. I see so many types of people like this, especially in nightclubs, where they buy tables, expensive bottles, and dance with promoters paid to pretend to go home with them.
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On August 08 2013 00:25 QuanticHawk wrote:
it takes a bit more than money but ok
yeah, otherwise how come 90% of the grad students in my ancient history department are married???
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On August 08 2013 01:12 lisward wrote:
Well yeah her behavior right now pretty much indicates that, not just the drug, alcohol and sleeping pill abuse, but among other things. She does have bi-polar disorder like i've mentioned, but who cares. She's some married guys problem now.
You seem to care. Like a real whole big lot.
and again, drinking, drugs and sleeping with other people isn't necessarily indicative of someone on a manic swing, but they can be together. But based on the fact that is all you mention as evidence, how incredibly bitter you are, and the fact that you're not, you know, a psychologist, it's pretty obvious you're using it to make yourself feel better about where she is now. It is fucked up, a tinge misogynistic and most of all, not helping you move on in any way
why are you still talking to this person at all? What at all do you gain from this fucked up relationship with this person?
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You can't think of it as time invested in a bad relationship. You have to think of it as time wasted.
Look at it this way, say you had a mediocre/crappy job that just got you by and you worked there for a good number of years. Eventually you found something better or just had enough of it and quit. You would think of it as time wasted not invested.
PS- No offense, but the reason you dated a bipolar person is one of two things. You are a co-dependent and have to take care of someone, maybe your dad beat your mom or your mom had issues and you were sort of parentalized as a kid, to take care of stuff. Or, you were abused as a kid and the bipolar chick is attracted to that chaos/abuse type of person. This is all pretty subconscious stuff, and you wouldn't even realize it until you learn more and more about the person or study a bit of psychology etc.
Just pay attention to your patterns of women, if you notice you are attracted to and hook up with a lot of crazy/chaotic/stupid chicks, the variable here is you. Not all chicks are like that, even though society/pop culture likes to make light of it. At the same time, it could be the chicks who are attracted to you.
I have noticed this in my own personal life in the last couple of years, there are several chicks who are fucked up on drugs or in the head because of traumatic pasts who are trying to talk to me and hook up with me. It's a very hard discipline to manage, especially since these kinds of girls are generally 7s or higher and amazing in bed.
The reason why; I was abused as a kid by a number of family. Cousins and sister's friends used to beat on me when I was young, my dad would break out the belt every once in a while, lot of arguing etc in the home because my mom is bipolar.
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EPT
