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My brother has a problem, I think.
This isn't really a "please-give-me-some-advice" blog post, it's more of a "I-feel-like-venting-a-little" blog post.
My brother is a hard working, patient, funny and helpful guy but during the last year or so something has been up. First of all, his money has seemingly disappeared. With all that he works, he should have plenty of money but then he asked me for a loan with a very unbelieveable explanation. Next, he's been going on vacation a lot but he's been lying about where he's been going. He claimed that he went to all sorts of different places but he has really been going to the same place every time. I know this because my mother is a hopeless snooper and at some point she found his passport lying around and she invariably looked at where he'd been.
Now my brother is a grown man and he's always been kind of secretive. I don't mind that, some people really need their privacy. I once smoked regularly for a while and I never told my family, they didn't need to know and I quit after a couple of months so it wasn't a problem. Anyway, what is the underlying cause of this situation? I don't know and I honestly don't care and finding out isn't feasible. I care that this is becoming a problem for my entire family and for my brother. Just today he had a great argument with my parents. They own the place that he lives (this arrangement is practical both for him and them and he pays rent) but now they have evicted him. My mother was almost crying when she told me. I guess they know more about all this than I do. This is a really shitty situation.
I'm concerned for my family but most of all I'm concerned for my brother. I fear he's getting into a bad place with no desirable outcome for him or anyone else. The worst thing is that he somehow feels like it is the right thing to do instead of coming clean or trying to break out of it. It seems like whenever he's prodded or nudged he violently counter reacts with even more conviction.
Yea this kind of sucks. Maybe tomorrow it'll be gone.
 
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evicted because a grown man didnt tell mommy and daddy where he was going???
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What are you suspecting? Drugs? Tourism sex?
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Not to give you advice when you don't want it buttttt... Sounds like you should talk to your brother. I wish I had a more open relationship with my brother. Something I need to work on because I regret not being able to talk more openly with him more often. Parents are crazy when it comes to their kids.
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He's actually your step brother and has been secretly visiting his true ailing parents (cancer sucks). Your step brother has also been wiring them every penny of his hard-earned money for the expensive treatment for the past year. Your parents don't believe this is the best course of action for your step brother and are so hurt by the situation that they are evicting him.
Hopefully your brother, I mean step brother, can figure out what is best for himself.
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On June 26 2013 05:48 QuanticHawk wrote:
evicted because a grown man didnt tell mommy and daddy where he was going???
Like he said, there's obviously more to this than what he or we know so far.
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What if he secretly works for Danish Intelligence and has saved millions of lives during his secret spy missions?
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On June 26 2013 08:58 ninazerg wrote:
What if he secretly works for Danish Intelligence and has saved millions of lives during his secret spy missions?
This sounds extremely plausible.
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On June 26 2013 06:34 AnachronisticAnarchy wrote:Show nested quote +On June 26 2013 05:48 QuanticHawk wrote:
evicted because a grown man didnt tell mommy and daddy where he was going??? Like he said, there's obviously more to this than what he or we know so far.
whether you live in your parents home, or rent a different property from them, if you are paying rent and they boot you randomly without notice, it is fucked. you cant boot your tenant out without notice unless he's broken a lease, and even then there is a process. it's the same thing even if you're paying rent to your parents (at least legally in the us)
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So is he photoshopping his head onto postcards from Hawaii? Ages would help clarify the degree of bumness!
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On June 26 2013 10:55 QuanticHawk wrote:Show nested quote +On June 26 2013 06:34 AnachronisticAnarchy wrote:On June 26 2013 05:48 QuanticHawk wrote:
evicted because a grown man didnt tell mommy and daddy where he was going??? Like he said, there's obviously more to this than what he or we know so far. whether you live in your parents home, or rent a different property from them, if you are paying rent and they boot you randomly without notice, it is fucked. you cant boot your tenant out without notice unless he's broken a lease, and even then there is a process. it's the same thing even if you're paying rent to your parents (at least legally in the us)
I agree it's kind of fucked, but without knowing the situation, hard to tell if this might be the right move. Sounds like the parents are going for the 'make him hit rock bottom' approach in hope he will turn his life around. As far as being kicked out, I don't know the law so I'm not going to say you're wrong, but I've always been under the impression even in the house you grew up in, once you turn 18 your parents have the right to boot you out of the house no questions asked as you are an adult. I would assume if your parents had a second home, told you that you could live there but needed to pay rent, if there's no agreement in writing, I would assume the above still applies.
In regards to the OP, if you're genuinely curious, I'd ask in the hopes of getting a straight answer. If you don't think you'll get a straight answer and think your parents know more, ask them. Depending how old you are, if you approach the situation in an adult manner and with genuine concern for your brother's well being, I don't see why they wouldn't let you in on what's going on, especially if you can make them realize it's affecting you and knowing more information would make the situation more bearable.
The situation as a whole sounds really crazy if your brother is going international and seemingly blowing all his money. There could be so many things that come to mind, and very few of them are in good circumstances unfortunately.
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this is getting deraily, and it varies very much state by state, but generally if youre living at a residence for a certain amount of time (varies state to state) and especially if you are paying or contributing to rent, youre considered a legal tenant even if youre not on the lease or whatever. maybe if i look it up ill post it but the gist of it is that it exists to buy you a few weeks when you have a relationship that goes south so youre not on the street
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Not to jump to conclusions, but maybe he's a drug dealer. Or a gambling addict?
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I was expecting your first line to say "He loves bad bitches thats his fucking problem"
If your parents own the place then they can control him to an extent. If he doesn't give them what they want then they can evict him. Its harsh, but thats what happens when its not your own. Hope it all works out for you guys though, its never good when theres super secret stuff going on.
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On June 26 2013 16:26 13_Doomblaze_37 wrote:
I was expecting your first line to say "He loves bad bitches thats his fucking problem"
If your parents own the place then they can control him to an extent. If he doesn't give them what they want then they can evict him. Its harsh, but thats what happens when its not your own. Hope it all works out for you guys though, its never good when theres super secret stuff going on.
not actually legal for them to evict him like that, he ought to call the cops but seeing as his landlords are his parents he probably won't
nvm op is from denmark
there's still probably something about renter's laws that'll protect him though
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On June 26 2013 09:42 Rollin wrote:Show nested quote +On June 26 2013 08:58 ninazerg wrote:
What if he secretly works for Danish Intelligence and has saved millions of lives during his secret spy missions? This sounds extremely plausible.
Hahaha this is possible. He can also be batman or something.
Seriously, just talk to him and find out from him, make sure it makes sense if not then most like drugs, sex and gambling. Choose one.
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Allow me to be the first to guess correctly.
He's addicted to cocaine
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Your parents are monsters, have some goddamn respect for his privacy. It's his money isn't it? His spare time? And already mentioned: It's illegal to evict someone like that.
On June 26 2013 23:19 Vivax wrote:
Allow me to be the first to guess correctly.
He's addicted to cocaine
That's stupid, nothing mentioned about weight loss or irregular moods, not to mention bloody noses etc. And it certainly doesn't explain the trips. Maybe he's just gay or something and regularly tries to visit his lover.
In any case, OP, you're his brother. I'm assuming you have a good relationship with him otherwise you wouldn't be posting this. Just sit down with him in a relaxed environment, ask him what's going on, and don't lend him money unless he gives you a good reason for it.
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On June 26 2013 23:51 Frits wrote:Show nested quote +On June 26 2013 23:19 Vivax wrote:
Allow me to be the first to guess correctly.
He's addicted to cocaine That's stupid, nothing mentioned about weight loss or irregular moods, not to mention bloody noses etc. And it certainly doesn't explain the trips. Maybe he's just gay or something and regularly tries to visit his lover.
Good point. OP, it's probably heroin.
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EPT
