EPTSo here I am, friday night. Alone at home. Watching Hitch. Not a bad night to be fair. I got time for my self, which I normally miss so much these days, but tonight I really figured out I miss something else more.
To get this in context we need to go back about 12 years. Thats when I met her the first time and why I'm here blogging on a friday night alone. I met her for the first time in 6th grade. We were 12 (and at this point I realize it is actually 14 years ago.. shit) and she started on my school. We were the same year but in different classes. We became friends rather quickly and then even closer friends. She was my best friend.
After elementery school and high school/college we traveled for 2½ month. We went to Zanzibar, South Africa and the US (East coast). All in all we had a blast on the trip but anyone who traveled for a long period of time with someone knows that the relationship strains a bit. So after we came home we just stopped talking. For about 8-9 month I didn't see her at all and in the following years not much more. I moved due to military service and she did her things. Even with so little contact, it was always just as it had been - funny, familiar and good.
About 5 years ago I moved back and slowly but steadily we started seeing each other more and more. Eventually we become as close as we had been before seeing each other weekly. She intruduced me to her friends and vice versa. All this time I had not thought of her as a potential girlfriend. I'm pretty sure she liked me at some point and I definitely liked her back in elementery school. But we were young and inexperienced and nothing ever happened.
About one year ago we went out drinking. Me, her and some friends. That night something just clicked. The pieces felt into place. That night we kissed for the first time. That night was not the first night we slept in the same bed, but it was the first time we woke up in the same bed knowing that there was something more then just friendship. The next morning I was scared shitless and didn't do anything. I was scared of losing my best friend - again. She was the brave one and forced the kiss.
Now I must say that starting a relationship with someone you know that well is so much harder then starting with a "stranger". Everyone had talked about us during the years. That we should be more than friends and that we were perfect together. Even our parents said that. We also had a friendship that we didn't want to destroy while exploring this new thing. So everything started reversed from my previous relationships. Normally it is (in my experience) starting with fireworks and lots of physical contact. But this time it was different. Not better or worse, just different.
6 month ago I moved in with her. My own apartment needed renovation for 2 weeks and she allowed me to crash at her place during that. The renovation was extended to about 5 weeks and after that I went travelling for a month (New Zealand). When I came home I move in for good. Leased my own place, packed my shit and moved in. We even painted her apartment to get a 'fresh' place - her idea, not mine.
I'm still living with her. I'm still in love. She is still my best friend.
