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I have a roommate named Chico. He's a little shorter than I and has pretty tan skin skin. You may be wondering if he's hispanic or not. Well, he's Vietnamese. He comes from Sacramento -the ghetto portion of Sacramento. Since he's shorter and smaller than the average white guy his bitchy coworkers (terrible people) like to make fun him in various ways. I like Chico a lot, though he's still a bit self-conscious about how "badass" or "manly" he appears.
Chico lived in a pretty scary area, at least it sounded scary to me judging from all the various stories I heard. Apparently when Chico's father was younger he was in some sort of Vietnamese gang. I've heard stories of extortion and violence from Chico about his father, although Chico's father left it all behind him once he had Chico. That's my understanding of the story.
Nowadays Sacramento sounds a lot safer than what it used to be, but still scares me. At one point Chico was robbed on a train at knifepoint by six huge black men. Now, I said Chico is a little shorter than myself, and I'm actually pretty short. I would have been terrified. They robbed Chico of his beloved PlayStation Portable. When Chico tells the story he speaks of feelings such as wanting to stab the guy pointing a knife at him. Naturally Chico would have died if he tried; his knife was in his pocket while the other dudes were a count of 6 with a knife drawn already.
Yesterday this random guy in Bellevue Washington (a pretty high-class area compared to what I'm used to) tried to rob Chico. Out of all the people to try to rob he picks the one guy from the ghetto who's used to this type of thing. Why, why would you ever try to rob Chico? Sure he's small but he does he really look like the type of dude who won't kill you in defense? There's a million random rich white people who have probably never thrown a punch in their life in Bellevue. But no, he has to go and try to rob Chico. And why is there a black guy mugging people in Bellevue anyways? I've never seen anybody in Bellevue except for programmers from the Middle East, white people and asian people. I basically never see any african americans around where I live. What are the chances? The chances are minuscule, impossible. Yet it happened.
After the "robbery" Chico comes home and acts very... quiet. We (the other roommates) wonder what's up with him. We figure he just had a bad day at work. On our way to driving to get groceries Chico is dead silent. None of us know why. Suddenly he decides it's time to speak -- the adrenal must have finally died down inside of him. He says "Some black dude tried to rob me today."
Silence.
"He had a knife out pointing at me. I took it from him and stabbed him."
More silence.
What the fuck? You stabbed a man today? Are you okay? Chico was really calm about the whole thing; I'm sure he had massive adrenal boosts for a really long time after he was "robbed", because Chico doesn't really remember many details about the robbery and left the guy bleeding on the ground without really thinking about it.
Apparently Chico was walking home after work and took a shortcut behind some hotel. A black dude appeared and held a knife to Chico. The guy must not have known what he was doing because as Chico came close enough to the knife, from either the guy attacking Chico or from Chico rushing towards the guy, he disarmed the attacker and defended himself. Chico stabbed the guy in the arm, and the attacker fell down clenching his arm with the knife lost in the commotion.
So, Chico just leaves. He was almost stabbed to death in a mugging behind some random building full of rich white people. This shit happens to people, not just random people you read about or see in the news. It happens to people.
So that's my story. What the fuck. Chico has definitely become much more badass than anyone I know almost instantaneously. Talk about dodging a bullet, oh my god.
  
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should have asked if he was an ex bw pro.
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Chico is a fearless, godless, merciless badass cold blooded killing machine
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United States530 Posts
That micro! Also, my grandparents live in Bellvue. Kind of scary to think of stuff like that going on there seeing as my grandfather walks every morning :/
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Chico's a nice guy. I would have made sure the robber would've had a lot of trouble chasing me by going for the gut and opening it up. Then, seeing how he had just tried to filet me, I would've called the cops and given them his location. Once his intestines were put back inside, he would be sent to jail for the requisite time period.
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That's insane, I used to frequent Bellevue quite often and I would say it was one of the places in Seattle I felt safest in, I grew up in Renton which is a lot more dangerous and never had a knife pulled on me.
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United States10260 Posts
chico sounds like a name that i would probs shit myself if i heard i tried to mug someone lawl.
top tier micro of the knife.
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Italy12246 Posts
On January 16 2013 08:11 LuckyFool wrote:
should have asked if he was an ex bw pro.
Dude, OF COURSE he's an ex bw pro.
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On January 16 2013 08:36 Teoita wrote:Show nested quote +On January 16 2013 08:11 LuckyFool wrote:
should have asked if he was an ex bw pro. Dude, OF COURSE he's an ex bw pro.
You know,  Bisu means "assassin's dagger" in Korean.
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On January 16 2013 08:45 Shady Sands wrote:Show nested quote +On January 16 2013 08:36 Teoita wrote:On January 16 2013 08:11 LuckyFool wrote:
should have asked if he was an ex bw pro. Dude, OF COURSE he's an ex bw pro. You know, Bisu means "assassin's dagger" in Korean.
All these starcraft related puns about knives sure are a cut above normal jokes.
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On January 16 2013 08:52 Brindled wrote:Show nested quote +On January 16 2013 08:45 Shady Sands wrote:On January 16 2013 08:36 Teoita wrote:On January 16 2013 08:11 LuckyFool wrote:
should have asked if he was an ex bw pro. Dude, OF COURSE he's an ex bw pro. You know, Bisu means "assassin's dagger" in Korean. All these starcraft related puns about knives sure are a cut above normal jokes.
Woah lets reel it in guys, we're on the razor's edge of this joke becoming overplayed.
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I wish I had the guts to do that. If some guy pulled a knife on me in the street I would probably just pussy out and give him my shit.
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Uh, not to be a downer or anything but Chico really should have reported it to the police, otherwise the robber could just make up a story and say some vietnamese guy stabbed him, and before you know it Chico has a warrant out for his arrest.
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On January 16 2013 09:00 erin[go]bragh wrote:Show nested quote +On January 16 2013 08:52 Brindled wrote:On January 16 2013 08:45 Shady Sands wrote:On January 16 2013 08:36 Teoita wrote:On January 16 2013 08:11 LuckyFool wrote:
should have asked if he was an ex bw pro. Dude, OF COURSE he's an ex bw pro. You know, Bisu means "assassin's dagger" in Korean. All these starcraft related puns about knives sure are a cut above normal jokes. Woah lets reel it in guys, we're on the razor's edge of this joke becoming overplayed.
All right, I guess we'll cut you some slack.
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On January 16 2013 09:24 Antylamon wrote:Show nested quote +On January 16 2013 09:00 erin[go]bragh wrote:On January 16 2013 08:52 Brindled wrote:On January 16 2013 08:45 Shady Sands wrote:On January 16 2013 08:36 Teoita wrote:On January 16 2013 08:11 LuckyFool wrote:
should have asked if he was an ex bw pro. Dude, OF COURSE he's an ex bw pro. You know, Bisu means "assassin's dagger" in Korean. All these starcraft related puns about knives sure are a cut above normal jokes. Woah lets reel it in guys, we're on the razor's edge of this joke becoming overplayed. All right, I guess we'll cut you some slack.
Yeah you weren't being very knife.
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Magic Woods9326 Posts
On January 16 2013 09:24 Antylamon wrote:Show nested quote +On January 16 2013 09:00 erin[go]bragh wrote:On January 16 2013 08:52 Brindled wrote:On January 16 2013 08:45 Shady Sands wrote:On January 16 2013 08:36 Teoita wrote:On January 16 2013 08:11 LuckyFool wrote:
should have asked if he was an ex bw pro. Dude, OF COURSE he's an ex bw pro. You know, Bisu means "assassin's dagger" in Korean. All these starcraft related puns about knives sure are a cut above normal jokes. Woah lets reel it in guys, we're on the razor's edge of this joke becoming overplayed. All right, I guess we'll cut you some slack.
How sharp of you to come up with that joke
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On January 16 2013 09:30 kollin wrote:Show nested quote +On January 16 2013 09:24 Antylamon wrote:On January 16 2013 09:00 erin[go]bragh wrote:On January 16 2013 08:52 Brindled wrote:On January 16 2013 08:45 Shady Sands wrote:On January 16 2013 08:36 Teoita wrote:On January 16 2013 08:11 LuckyFool wrote:
should have asked if he was an ex bw pro. Dude, OF COURSE he's an ex bw pro. You know, Bisu means "assassin's dagger" in Korean. All these starcraft related puns about knives sure are a cut above normal jokes. Woah lets reel it in guys, we're on the razor's edge of this joke becoming overplayed. All right, I guess we'll cut you some slack. Yeah you weren't being very knife.
This was an objectively terrible pun, and you should feel bad about it.
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On January 16 2013 09:24 Antylamon wrote:Show nested quote +On January 16 2013 09:00 erin[go]bragh wrote:On January 16 2013 08:52 Brindled wrote:On January 16 2013 08:45 Shady Sands wrote:On January 16 2013 08:36 Teoita wrote:On January 16 2013 08:11 LuckyFool wrote:
should have asked if he was an ex bw pro. Dude, OF COURSE he's an ex bw pro. You know, Bisu means "assassin's dagger" in Korean. All these starcraft related puns about knives sure are a cut above normal jokes. Woah lets reel it in guys, we're on the razor's edge of this joke becoming overplayed. All right, I guess we'll cut you some slack.
Ok, ok.... we get the point.
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On January 16 2013 09:37 Chronos. wrote:Show nested quote +On January 16 2013 09:24 Antylamon wrote:On January 16 2013 09:00 erin[go]bragh wrote:On January 16 2013 08:52 Brindled wrote:On January 16 2013 08:45 Shady Sands wrote:On January 16 2013 08:36 Teoita wrote:On January 16 2013 08:11 LuckyFool wrote:
should have asked if he was an ex bw pro. Dude, OF COURSE he's an ex bw pro. You know, Bisu means "assassin's dagger" in Korean. All these starcraft related puns about knives sure are a cut above normal jokes. Woah lets reel it in guys, we're on the razor's edge of this joke becoming overplayed. All right, I guess we'll cut you some slack. Ok, ok.... we get the point.
Thank you, you've all pierced us with your wit
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EPT
