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It happened pretty quickly, but ended just as quickly.
So, a girl I knew from high school came to the same college as me. We knew each other a bit—we were stand partners in orchestra for a year or two, ran in similar circles, but ultimately didn’t know each other that well. I ended up in a freshman residence hall as a sophomore advisor, and lo and behold, she was one of my residents.
For the first couple months, we didn’t talk that much. We were cordial, but not much more than that. One of the analogies I like to use for life is that you’re scaling down a steep, snow-covered hill carefully. When shit happens, either someone’s given you a little shove or you slip—either way, you’re tumbling down a lot faster than you would like to be.
Around Thanksgiving, we started hanging out more. I stopped going out on the weekends after first semester freshman year—I just wasn’t particularly interested in the party scene.
I guess two things I should mention about myself far as my philosophy of life goes. First, everything I do should be to increase happiness in the world, but not to destroy other people’s happiness for mine. Second is to do whatever I do the best I can—with respect to relationships, hooking up at a frat party falls pretty fucking low on that scale, and I’ve never done it.
So yeah, after I tried out the party scene, I kind of decided against it. I’d party with friends occasionally, but I liked my quiet Friday, Saturday nights. Not quite sure how it happened, but she started joining me for them—I wasn’t quite sure what other crazy shit she was up to (though I had a few ideas, one of my… talents is getting along with everyone and them feeling comfortable with talking about more or less anything, so I pick up a lot of info) but it was whatever.
So it’s cool, two friends from high school hanging out together. Then Thanksgiving came along and most of the campus emptied out—my flight was on Thanksgiving morning and she was just staying. For the last couple days, it’s basically just me and her hanging out. I’m glad for some company, but I’m okay at this point. Then one night she asks to sleep over. Wait, what?
Yeah, so she sleeps over, albeit in my roommate’s bed. Ain’t no hooking up gonna happen I tell myself. Instead, we talk about life (or rather, her life mostly) for hours and hours. Some messed up things, and I’m not sure what’s going on, but I go with the flow. I’m a little confused the next morning, but I’m alright-ish at this point. So I go home for Thanksgiving.
This is taking a little longer to write than I’d hoped.
And I get back. So we’re hanging out more and more and talking more and more, and pretty much everything is pointing towards her liking me. My friends and roommate don’t help much. I’m not 100% sure if I like her or not, but I go with the flow. Yeah, she told me that she doesn’t like Asian guys and that she wasn’t looking for a serious relationship, but still, what were a couple words in the face of so much other pressures and evidence?
So yeah, I convinced myself I liked her and she liked me back. It was a difficult couple days for me. I’d gone from mooning over another girl (on and off, but mostly on) for the last six or seven years to this. It was kind of a huge drop—someone who was close to perfect or at least fit me perfectly to… well a rather flawed girl I’d known from high school. She missed the mark far as life philosophy went too, but I shut up that voice in my head and said that was fix-able. I’m over that other girl, I told myself.
Bad things always happen when I lie to myself—that’s what the other girl taught me long ago. But gosh, pretending I was over her for a few days was pretty nice. It’s so easy to lie to oneself and feel better about life. But it’s not right. When one part of the carefully constructed dream falls, then entire thing is destroyed. Good riddance, I suppose. I took her on a date yesterday, and we cleared things up. Ultimate friendzone level: big brother. I think we’re still close at least emotionally, which I guess puts me in a certain place of esteem. I’m okay with it. I think after all I was more in love with the idea of being in a relationship with her than her. Still, doesn’t stop me from feeling like shit.
I guess the way I’ve been playing this is like that guy who plays a game of poker and just folds every round—slowly bleeding away, waiting for that one hand. I finally tried a hand, and lost. Ah well. I should know—life is never that easy. But still, it would have been a nice story to tell. A girl from high school came to the same college as me. We fell in love one way or another, and it was happily ever after. I guess it’s just not time for that.
But as I said yesterday, I’m only a hopeless romantic until I find someone.
At this rate, I'm going to turn in TL's #1 Girl Blogger, lololololol
  
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Sounds like your a better man than I, whenever I've gotten into a situation where a woman and I have a nebulous relationship status and she pulls the friendzone card, I promptly stop speaking to her entirely. I'm not so good at being friends with women I have feelings for, but alas, this is not altogether an uncommon phenomena amongst TL'ers 
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Tch feel lucky, i just found out the girl I've been dating for the last 3 years cheated on me before I left for college. Needless to say I could write a blog about it to o.o good luck with girls mang they pull some crazy stuff.
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Eh, we'll see what happens. It's back to passive receiving mode for me though.
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Aww...better luck next time OP
One thing that bothers me.
On December 10 2012 04:17 ticklishmusic wrote:
I’d gone from mooning over another girl (on and off, but mostly on) for the last six or seven years to this.
Swooning... you mean swooning...
Mooning means displaying your posterior.
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On December 10 2012 05:19 obesechicken13 wrote:Aww...better luck next time OP One thing that bothers me. Show nested quote +On December 10 2012 04:17 ticklishmusic wrote:
I’d gone from mooning over another girl (on and off, but mostly on) for the last six or seven years to this. Swooning... you mean swooning... Mooning means displaying your posterior.
Nah, mooning is the right word here. Its got another meaning apart from the one you used.
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On December 10 2012 04:17 ticklishmusic wrote:
At this rate, I'm going to turn in TL's #1 Girl Blogger, lololololol
dw, you're not close to Azera or StateofReverie yet. There's some other chap who has a bunch iirc.
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France710 Posts
swoon
mooning
he's right. Swoon would work but it's just a stronger gradient of mooning, and usually when I think of swooning I think of beatlemania and all the psychotic women, or girls, that made that a thing. As I see it it is much more of a physical response to lust. mooning over someone is like having your head in the clouds, thinking of them constantly, or things of the sort. Or showing your ass. also mooning.
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On December 10 2012 05:52 Ryalnos wrote:Show nested quote +On December 10 2012 04:17 ticklishmusic wrote:
At this rate, I'm going to turn in TL's #1 Girl Blogger, lololololol dw, you're not close to Azera or StateofReverie yet. There's some other chap who has a bunch iirc.
I'll get there soon enough 
I wish I had the motivation to write on other things though, lol.
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I feel obliged to let you know that it took me 19 years (well I was 19, I obviously wasn't trying to date at the age of 1, but 19 sounds more dramatic) to finally find someone I loved. We've been together for two and a half years now, and I'd say it was worth every second. Hang in there, you never know when Mrs. right will make an appearance
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On December 10 2012 06:00 schach wrote:
I feel obliged to let you know that it took me 19 years (well I was 19, I obviously wasn't trying to date at the age of 1, but 19 sounds more dramatic) to finally find someone I loved. We've been together for two and a half years now, and I'd say it was worth every second. Hang in there, you never know when Mrs. right will make an appearance
I feel obligated to let you know I'm already 20. Occasionally I like to think of it as being halfway to being a 40 year old virgin.
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On December 10 2012 05:55 HotShizz wrote:swoonmooninghe's right. Swoon would work but it's just a stronger gradient of mooning, and usually when I think of swooning I think of beatlemania and all the psychotic women, or girls, that made that a thing. As I see it it is much more of a physical response to lust. mooning over someone is like having your head in the clouds, thinking of them constantly, or things of the sort. Or showing your ass. also mooning.
i c
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Man, this story sounds so familiar for me. I too ended up going to college with a friend from high school. I too fell for her after we started hanging out more during Sophomore year, and I too hanged out with her a ton during Thanksgiving. And I too got friendzoned in the end.
But I've been over her for a while and we're still cool around each other. I hope you find success eventually. I find that every rejection is a good learning experience that puts me closer to success.
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On December 10 2012 05:52 Ryalnos wrote:Show nested quote +On December 10 2012 04:17 ticklishmusic wrote:
At this rate, I'm going to turn in TL's #1 Girl Blogger, lololololol dw, you're not close to Azera or StateofReverie yet. There's some other chap who has a bunch iirc.
Noone remember jjun212 and the epic baller graph?
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On December 10 2012 06:17 synapse wrote:Show nested quote +On December 10 2012 05:52 Ryalnos wrote:On December 10 2012 04:17 ticklishmusic wrote:
At this rate, I'm going to turn in TL's #1 Girl Blogger, lololololol dw, you're not close to Azera or StateofReverie yet. There's some other chap who has a bunch iirc. Noone remember jjun212 and the epic baller graph?
Ah yes, jjun212 - that's the guy I was thinking of. More than 10 on his blog page at a first glance.
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EPT
