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So I am here at almost 3 a.m. in front of my laptop, thinking about life in general.
Growing up. What does it mean? We all wanted to be grown ups as little kids, so we do whatever we want, to have our own money and liberty to go where we please. But surprise, surprise, just as at other stages of our lives, when we want to get to school from kindergarten, to uni from high scholl - not everything is really gold, like we thought. I look back at high-school and just laugh at the problems that i had back then and which i thought were earth-shaking and which would need a genius like me to solve them. At least compared to the problems I face in the everyday of my current stage of my life. But now I know that these are minor problems as well (even though they are quite big to my current set of skills), that I am still at the very beginning and need to learn a lot in order to be able to call myself anything good (should that even be a goal? or once you get really good you'll be recognized by everyone? Iunno, but for sure the recognition of others is one of the rare motivating factors for me. Its bad, yes, i know, cant help though.).
In a timespan of 12 months my whole life changed. I look back at myself from a year ago and cannot recognize the person who i was. Drinking quite a bit, smoking a lot, partying hard, not caring about anything cause my good memory helped me through the uni without too much effort outside the 3- weeks exam sessions/semester, playing video games whenever I could. Now I stand here, graduated, landed a job at a top 6 world-wide accounting company, not smoking, not drinking almost at all, refusing to accept any money from parents, trying to get a masters degree in accounting and an ACCA qualification, having a girlfriend who I will marry next summer. It just feels....different. And great at the same time. Sometimes I wonder if I'm ready, if this is the way its meant to be, if resposabilities aren't/won't be too big for me to handle.
Then this little girl smiles at me, tells me that she loves me with an angellic voice and I just get the power of a titan to carry through everything, not caring about any other girls, any other problems. Nothing. I just know that it's worth.
All this in under 1 year. A little kid grew up.
 
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I too had a recent sort of revelation but instead of growing up i noticed im still the same from when i was in high school. Here i am approaching 21 and i have got nothing to show for it, i remember in high school for whatever reason i thought i would completely change my image. Three years later im still playing video games hanging out with friends and only recently finally managed to get some decent study habits. I remember when i came back from my first year of university i thought i had become a man finally. I did my own laundry i cooked some meals for myself and i lived "on my own" and survived.
All i figured is that i need to change and mature, when i look back at my high school years i almost wish i could go back and do it over. Live it more instead of just wasting time. But i cant i can only go forward and change myself slowly. The other day i was helping this lady at work and she asked how old i was, when i told her she said "Oh your not a boy your a man" I told her "I wonder about that sometimes."
Just remember that the Earth will always spin no matter what our little earthly problems are.
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I'm 16, and I can say to you that I really don't want to grow up... I want to be 16 forever, flirting with girls, playing starcraft, swimming with mates, getting yelled at by teachers, dicking around. All I have to worry about is homework. Ya know? BUT it WILL happen. And I'm just trying to have fun while I can. You might have to do the same. I'm obviously not a very well informed source but I would think maybe this is the same for you. Maybe in ten years all you'll want is for it to be today. So fucking use today man! Make future you proud. Don't let your future self ever think that you missed out on doing something today. Because it's your responsibility to yourself not to waste the days you'll want. I have a feeling this will be true of every age. When you're 50 you'll want to be 40, but you wasted being 40 wishing you we're 30, and so on. Stop brooding, and don't look forward either, or you'll get lost in ambition. Look sideways, or up, just.... Look now man. Enjoy yourself. Don't grow up too fast. Young and childish aren't the same.
Change your perspective. You're getting married, you'll get to have a sleep over with your best friend every night! How awesome is that? You work in an office, get up to some fucking shenanigans man. Grown up doesn't mean boring. You're the same guy you were in preschool, you just act differently. Your 'grownupness' is up to you.
I understand you feel grown up, but I just want to say... Don't. Because you're not. Maybe next year you'll look back and think 'oh my god I was so immature and dumb' and think you're so wise... But relative to how wise and grown p a person CAN be, you're an infant. Don't feel grown up. Please. That's when it really starts...
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good luck, I hope it's not Deloitte 
and I did not want to grow up as a kid, always shunned the responsibilities that come with it
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@Trufflez
I think you got it wrong. I am not afraid of being grown-up, but I truly feel that this is the case. I have some resposabilities, I have to make my own money in order to get a lviing. Also I am soon getting married, which you once again put it as a problem, which clear it is not, else i wouldnt be doing it I will live with the girl of my life, ofc I'm fucking looking forward to it. 
@rimstalker
It's RSM International, Deloitte is big four
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EPT
